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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

What you don't read in the books about childbirth......

188 replies

bugsymalone · 08/05/2009 21:33

Here are my contributions from personal experience.....

Post C-section you'll have the worse flatulence of your life!

Post vaginal delivery the midwife will stick a finger up your bum to check she hasn't sewn you together. Even more alarmingly rather than thinking wtf! you'll hardly batt an eyelid!

AND THE MOST REDICULOUS THING READ IN A CHILDBIRTH BOOK

Ex. Miriam Stoppard that when the baby's head is crowning you should relax your perinium ! Personally I didn't have the mental faculties left at that point to relax anything!

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
MiniMarmite · 09/05/2009 14:34

That G&A can be (for me anyway) great for the first few hours (even with an induction) but it may make you silly enough to forget to ask for anything stronger when it really starts to hurt (and silly enough to be told to put it down just when you need it the most)

That you really be really hungry afterwards and be desperate for them to bring you the mythical tea and toast...but when they finally do just won't be able to stomach it...or any other food for about three days.

If you give birth in the middle of the night you think you might get to go to sleep after all that hard work...but no, they send DH home and leave you holding the (crying) baby (and that however many books you read you won't be able to work out how to change its nappy).

That despite all the things they don't tell you it will still be worth it

CookieMonster2 · 09/05/2009 15:01

MiniMarmite, I agree about not wanting to eat after childbirth - everyone talks about how great the tea and toast is, and given that I had missed my main meal of the day you would think I would be hungry, but it actually just made me feel really sick. And I felt really guilty that I had wasted 4 slices of toast that I just left to go cold. I can't believe I was holding my new born baby and my main concern was feeling guilty about wasting the toast!

That you would happily show the postman your stitches if you thought he had an opinion on how normal everything looked and/or how to reduce the pain.

KristinaM · 09/05/2009 15:07

thats you do NOT have " period like bleeding" after the birth. you have gallons of blood for weeks on end. and in the first few days you need to change pads every hour day and night.

faeriefruitcake · 09/05/2009 15:08

That if you're having twins the world and his wife will be looking & poking up your fanny. I nearly got myself a red carpet for the visiters and a sign saying please wipe your feet.

I do wish I'd gone with my original plan which was to sprinkle glitter all over my fanny and a small nativity (Christmas babies)tucked away in the corner.

SammyK · 09/05/2009 15:22

That your insides will feel like you have just been on the vertical drop part of a rollercoaster. It felt like all my organs had been up in my ribcage for nine months and then fallen down! Oh and that the outside of your stomach will look and feel like blanchmonge.

Hope no one who is pg reads this thread!!

CheeryCherry · 09/05/2009 15:29

That, yes you probably will poo in direct line of a pompous horrified,young student doctor and still feel the embarrassment 10 yrs later.
That, yes induction is A G O N Y immediately.
That yes, there will be bucket loads of blood pouring out of you (all over bedclothes, bedding, mattresses) for days and days...
Oh it was fun.

PacificDogwood · 09/05/2009 15:48

@ faerie's glittery fanny!!
Surely that's one to remember for next time ...

TheProvincialLady · 09/05/2009 16:00

That afterwards you will have a RAGING thirst. And it will not be quenched by a 40ml container of warm orange juice, especially not when you have wasted 35ml ripping the lid off.

That the baby coming out will pull the tendons at the top of your thighs/groin, and that will hurt more than any of the rest of it. And you will still occasionally have to take painkillers in the night when it aches, even after 4 months. I've never met anyone else that happened to

MsSparkle · 09/05/2009 16:23

That you can be there laying on the bed pushing for an hour and a half! On the telly it's three pushes and the babys out

bebejones · 09/05/2009 16:24

That the first poo after giving birth is the most terrifying & painful experience (episiotomy & forceps) & is worse than actually giving birth & will make you scream the house down!

That postnatal wards in the summer are like greenhouses & you will be literally DRIPPING with sweat & they still make you wrap your baby up like it's -10!

That a 'helpful' MW will try and milk you like a cow 1/2 hour after you have given birth.

That you will tell the lovely man who gives you your epidural (after 56 hours of labour) that you love him!

That walking after an epidural has worn off will make you look like Bambi & trying to get the message from brain to legs takes twice as long as it should!

That in a busy postnatal ward at night you get dumped with your PFB next to you & told where the buzzer is & you are left totally alone, numb from the chest down & with a drip in your arm & it is totally terrifying.

That doctors & MW don't always know that your baby is back to back & that is why they won't come out even though you are pushing like a demon!

MsSparkle · 09/05/2009 16:26

bebejones i had both mine in the Winter and the ward was like a greenhouse too! What is it with the postnatal wards being so damn hot!

SouthMum · 09/05/2009 16:33

I wish I had known that my minge would feel 'on edge' for weeks afterwards, almost like it kept curling up and cramping (if ones minge can get cramp?) when I stood up for too long.

Reginamygina · 09/05/2009 16:50

That afterpains are EVIL. I thought I was still in labour. MW said "oh just take some paracetamol". YEAH RIGHT!! 2 days' worth of painful contractions until I passed a big blood clot (eeeek!), no one had warned me about that!

PatTheHammer · 09/05/2009 16:50

I was not even aware there was a buzzer until I had already been on the ward for 2 whole days and nights. They never pointed it out and I was in a single room......The feckers!

Used it loads when I found it though, if only for a laugh

LOL at the 'minge cramp'

PatTheHammer · 09/05/2009 16:52

Uuurrrggh .
Begged for something stronger and thankfully was granted when I threatened to give up BFing.

imoscarsmum · 09/05/2009 16:54

Oh god I could write a book!:

That when you're pregnant for the first time, don't bother listening to any tales like these cos you will never, ever relate to them until you've been through it - don't worry.

That after you've given birth, you will forever want to tell anyone you can about your birth story in rich detail, and that's why baby cafes are so good cos you have an attentive audience

That while you are trying to learn to breastfeed in hospital (expressed while baby was given donated), you won't care if the 'menu collector' person comes into your cubicle when you tits are hooked up to cow-grade industrial breast pump - you will even welcome them in like a long-lost friend.

That no one will read your birth plan and no one will care what sort of birth you wanted - tough shit love.

That if you try to refuse an induction they will accuse you of not caring about your baby. once induced, they will deny the pain is worse than normal labour and refuse gas and air as you're not dilated enough.

That they will stick a pain killer up your arse after a c-section and not tell you. And no, there is no fabled 'tea & toast' after a c-section. On the upside, they won't chuck DP out at 3am as you've had major surgery.

That if you bravely get up 12 hours after a c-section, they will leave you alone in the shower room and when you take your knickers off, blood will flood the floor like you're in a scene from Saw V.

That threatening to throw yourself out of the nearest window cos they won't let you go home (all packed & ready to go but bp was a tiny bit up and 'we need to check with consultant but she's in theatre') won't work but demanding to self-discharge will.

That you must be brave and stand up for yourself, and have reasons for your choices, and not cave in when they ask 'why do you want that' during labour..so that you don't get walked all over by crappy midwives.
God i'd do it differently next time!

Febes · 09/05/2009 16:57

I was due yesterday. Its not the best thread to read in preparaton.

That when crowning it feels like Lo is coming out teeth first.

CheeryCherry · 09/05/2009 17:04

Febes good luck for your imminent arrival...am sure you will be able to start a new thread when home again 'AIBU to say just how EASY is childbirth, really... what is all the fuss about?'.

karala · 09/05/2009 17:05

the crying - and I don't mean the baby. After my first DS I held onto him and sobbed hysterically and then my DH joined in and we just sobbed for what seemed like ages

Littlepurpleprincess · 09/05/2009 17:06

bebejones - That in a busy postnatal ward at night you get dumped with your PFB next to you & told where the buzzer is & you are left totally alone, numb from the chest down & with a drip in your arm & it is totally terrifying.

Ditto. I pressed that buzzer so many times!

Thebolter · 09/05/2009 17:15

That if you want an epidural you must not tell them if you think you're in transition by the time it is fitted.

That birth plans are rubbish.

That newborn babies smell a bit whiffy and are covered in vernix. They are not particularly soft and sweet smelling.

That labour wards are noisy places even at 2am.

DoNotAnnoy · 09/05/2009 17:20

The distinctive smell of lochia....and of course (therefore) the distinctive smell of the toilets on postnatal

And here is a positive one - that men CAN stay on a postnatal ward in the event of serious problems. DTDs were 3m prem. DP was given a bed for what I thought was the first night (got to postnatal ward at around 3am)...I was dreading next night - but no it was for up to 10 whole nights

SouthMum · 09/05/2009 17:23

Fond memories of my minge cramp I tell you..... I remember thinking "oh my god I am going to feel like my flaps and the 'other bit that men can't find' are turning inside out forever!" then one day it just wasn't there anymore (the pain not my minge lol)

Also I wish I was a bit better prepared for the whole catheter situation - had multiple epidurals that didn't work and then a spinal as I had to have alot of sticking back together afterwards. They took the catheter out and said "you must pee in 6 hours or it can be very bad". Anyway I dribbled every 30 mins for the next day, determined not to have another one put in, in the end I had to admit defeat and have it back in until my bladder settled down.

At one point I asked the MW, jokily "what if my bladder gets used to not having to pee on its own and I need the catheter forever", she said "I won't lie to you, that can happen" and toddled off - nice!!

TaurielTest · 09/05/2009 17:27

littlelamb re tennis-ball clots - exactly! "the size of an apple" was the phrase i used in a trembling voice to the midwife outside the toilet door, after i'd pulled the cord in a panic... "quite normal" apparently. in fact, the lochia in general was my biggest shock to the system.
I had a lovely birth though.

veryscaredleonifay · 09/05/2009 17:28

lol, i'm pg with my first baby and dh 'helpfully' suggested i read this thread, i'm terrified about the actual giving birth part.
...i'm laughing and crying at the same time, thinking they cant be serious, can they?
omg what have i done?

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