For those of you who wrote negative things to Ema76 about her CS will you please read this.....

[Shooflypie]

because I am really, really shocked by some of the things that were said to her. I am repeating some of what I wrote on the original post on the basis that I think this issue is important.

I recently had an el cs for exactly the same reasons as Ema76. My mother had a 48 hour labour, forceps delivery, severe tearing which led to incontinence in later life (and further operations), was sectioned with severe PND, which lasted for over a year.

She said it was the worst thing that ever happened to her.

My experience was that my consultant took my fear of VB VERY seriously and his view was that a VB would put me at risk of PND and not bonding with my baby. (And btw I am perfectly robust in all respects other than this particular issue.)

I did have counselling, which was great and sorry but their goal is NOT to persuade you out of a CS as some posters assume.

I had an elcs and it was a fantastic experience. And the recovery was fine. And DS did NOT having breathing difficulties and he DID BF while I was still in the theatre.

Please take note of the following in particular:
A significant additional part of my anxiety and distress prior to the cs being offered, was that I was afraid of other women being judgemental of me.

I was so afraid of this I considered lying about the reasons for having a cs, or even trying for a VB (in the hope it would end in an em cs).

Due to a clued up consultant, a hospital psychologist, and a wonderfully supportive DP, I had the birth that was right for me and it has got our life as a family off to a flying start.

I am now very upfront about why I did have an el cs in the hope that it will be helpful to women like Ema.

I really don't understand why having a VB matters SO MUCH to some people that they think it is OK to behave with such viciousness to a pg woman? Or anyone.

Please will you reflect on the experience that I've outlined here and maybe try to be a bit more empathetic when someone tells you she wants a CS.

And bear in mind that a consultant and a pychologist took the opposite view to you.

I was admitted to hospital at 6 weeks and saw a consultant (hyperemesis)

She has said on other threads she has had 2 miscarriages so maybe it is because of this.

The morning after???????

i have had 2mc and don;t really want to give them a thought at the moment. it was a heartbreaking time.
don't have to justify why i saw consultant early, but i did because i asked and was booked in. simple as that. the wheel that squeaks the loudest gets the grease.

"at what stage did your doctor confirm your pregnancy just after DH hopped off!"

don't really know what that means. dh hopped off?

And just when things seemed to be dying down another controversial comment is sure to kick things off again.

Oh dear.

yes stop stop stop.

Sorry for misjuding you.

Sorry if you have not had the support you deserve.

Please do continue with mumsnet, it is a nice place really.

I think there have been a few troll threads around recently and people are extra suspicious.

Most of us are stroppy nice

MadameCastafiore - you are obviously highly educated and eloquent with such language as that? that is a rhetorical question so don't bother answering.

sorry lilymolly it has really put me off mumsnet. just wanted bit of help with my specific question and didn't come for abuse which seems to be getting worse as even my intentions and validity have been called into question.

Going to soft play now with dd

Please make up and play nicely

Good luck with rest of pregnancy Ema76
I am 9 weeks so will be due around the same time x

NO STAY...........

I HAVE TO GO NOW THOUGH

See you later x

there are some bitches around today
i may as well join in

"I think people should take more responsibility for themselves where they can and not constantly defer to the NHS to do everything for them. But then I prefer to think for myself. "

What's the point of the nhs then? get real!

goodluck lilymolly hope it all goes really well for you.

ema76 if you are really leavig then good luck to you

Wow I've been reading mumsnet since it started and am a bit shocked at some of the above comments. She asked for advice on c-section not for the mumsnet inquisition to start up. She's having first baby, and after two miscarriages for fuck's sake. This personal stuff is just out of order.

Ahhh this takes me back about a month ago or so to a VERY similar thread LadyT - you were on that one too - where it all got a bit heated and I got a post deleted because I lost my rag!
Anyone else remember?
The op had a very similar tone / way with words!
Uncanny

Em - Have you posted about this before?

i have already apologised on Ema's thread for what i said. I am not proud (although i have such strong feelings of the opposite - i was terrified of having a cs, and can understand if someone was trying to force me into a cs, then i would be p'd off too.) i was told ds2 was breech and might need a cs and i cried for days - he wasn't and i had a perfect home birth thankfully! I should have thought about it from that point of view, but clearly i diddn't and am truly sorry for offending anyone.

xx

never asked a question on here before, and only recently joined dkma.
but i think when you know what you want you are bound to have a 'tone' because the advice was not asked for, i did not want it, i know what i want and i will not apologise for that. i did thank the people for their comments but my mind is made up and has been for many years, not changing it and why should i. that's how i felt. just because i didn't agree i was not informed and didn't know what i was talking about. rubbish

thanks nicky111 for your comment

i know you did redhead. thanks.

Ema76 - if you are genuine, don't leave, join an antenatal thread (for your due date month) and see how supportive/friendly mumsnet can be.

will you be having your baby at royal gwent?
i was there monday for colposcopy (damn abnormal smears now for 3years) maybe when bubs is born, i can send you a bunch of flowers! its only 15mins from where i live.

i really can't believe how heartless i was, it's not like me.

Ema - I think you're missing the point if you think that people were wanting you to change your mind.
Perhaps you should work on being assertive without being unpleasant - your tone is horrible and it's nothing to do with you knowing what you want, but just generally nasty a lot of the time which seems to have got a reaction from many people.

Just to clarify
People were getting pissed off with you because you were unpleasant NOT because you wanted a CS imo.

This thread is pretty bizarre but I am warmed by TMMJ's Mills and Boon definition of DH hopped off

perfect

Shooflypie - i'm not sure if i have mentioned you by name as have felt rather bombarded in the last few days but thank you for your thread.

psdgeorge - i might join for due month not sure, could end up having this discussion again if asked how is my baby being born!