For those of you who wrote negative things to Ema76 about her CS will you please read this.....

[Shooflypie]

because I am really, really shocked by some of the things that were said to her. I am repeating some of what I wrote on the original post on the basis that I think this issue is important.

I recently had an el cs for exactly the same reasons as Ema76. My mother had a 48 hour labour, forceps delivery, severe tearing which led to incontinence in later life (and further operations), was sectioned with severe PND, which lasted for over a year.

She said it was the worst thing that ever happened to her.

My experience was that my consultant took my fear of VB VERY seriously and his view was that a VB would put me at risk of PND and not bonding with my baby. (And btw I am perfectly robust in all respects other than this particular issue.)

I did have counselling, which was great and sorry but their goal is NOT to persuade you out of a CS as some posters assume.

I had an elcs and it was a fantastic experience. And the recovery was fine. And DS did NOT having breathing difficulties and he DID BF while I was still in the theatre.

Please take note of the following in particular:
A significant additional part of my anxiety and distress prior to the cs being offered, was that I was afraid of other women being judgemental of me.

I was so afraid of this I considered lying about the reasons for having a cs, or even trying for a VB (in the hope it would end in an em cs).

Due to a clued up consultant, a hospital psychologist, and a wonderfully supportive DP, I had the birth that was right for me and it has got our life as a family off to a flying start.

I am now very upfront about why I did have an el cs in the hope that it will be helpful to women like Ema.

I really don't understand why having a VB matters SO MUCH to some people that they think it is OK to behave with such viciousness to a pg woman? Or anyone.

Please will you reflect on the experience that I've outlined here and maybe try to be a bit more empathetic when someone tells you she wants a CS.

And bear in mind that a consultant and a pychologist took the opposite view to you.

JJ

I blame that expat.....

I suppose urinating in amstel would be interesting with their outside urinals.....!

Alas DT, my problem is not a postural one....but a pocket schlong....that could be fun. Give the physio something to look at next time......

I don't normally partake in this type of mudslinging debate but it is a full moon so hey, why not. Chapstick, I went back and checked and it was your first post on that thread so I don't it was as a reaction to your support being ignored.
The subject is obviously very personal to you but, whilst I'll admit you may not be a cow, it was a cow-ish thing to say.

same here mmj.....typed a huge long post, then thought what's the point.

she got advice about how to get an elcs on the nhs. she got advice about dealing with her phobia, granted she didn't exactly ask for that but by saying that was her reason for wanting a CS she opened it to the floor imvho. she ignored anyone who told her anything other than "oh you're so right" and was dismissive and arrogant.

with 50 plus people taking part in a thread of course they evolve and that one;s evolution was mostly driven by ema's attitude unfortunately.

bullying...i don't think so; people getting annoyed about their experiences being dismissed, ignored and undervalued, yes.

no real need for this thread to have been started tbh as it is all summed up nicely on the other thread.

and ema, I hope things go well for you, I really do

I have just gone and looked at the original thread and the OP spent a lot of time, at least on the first 3 pages, thanking people for their input - is that not nice then?

I have no problem with women opting for a c-section in certain (serious) circumstances.

I have a huge problem with the complete normalisation of c-section as a routine alternative to normal vaginal birth. It absolutely stinks and is competely and utterly anti-woman in my opinion. It is nothing better than playing on the fears of women, disguised as giving women 'choice'. Shameful.

And that's all I want to say, really.

Hi Has anyone been given a reason why ema is having so many scans?

Is this pregnancy risky?

Cant understand why someone should be getting so many scans and hence draining the NSH of resources if there is no risk iyswim?

Totally understand emas choice to have a c/s and would also recommend some sort of counselling.

Lilymolly

By Ema76 on Thu 14-Aug-08 21:52:19
wannabe - i am going to have regular scans after 30 weeks so i can keep a check on the baby and it's position that is always a good indication and my cons. put my mind at rest about that. they can also tell by the cervix and can do a scan for that. i have to pay for the scans which is fine.

Mrs Mattie... Cobblers. Me wanting a C Section had nothing to do with fears. It was right for me, my baby and my family.

Nothing to do at all with fear.

Jayzussss, is this debate still going? Would the anti-CS brigade please refer to hte 1800s where women routinely died in childbirth.

I'm so grateful that we live in a world where it is possible to have a CS. And FAR from it being fashionable to have a CS, it is fashionable to try to have a VBAC even when the mother has legitimate fears, awful memories, various potential risks, the possibility of a 24 hour labour followed by an emergency CS.

People who argue, argue, argue, argue V births, in the face of all reason and common sense, and fear, and practicality.......
I just don't understand why they are so wound up about what other women do, HAVE to do.

As the pp said, when parcel arrives, you don't obsess over HOW it was delivered.

Here's why I was scared of childbirth:

1. Being told by my mum, from when I was a tiny child onwards, that giving birth was a) the worst thing that ever happened to her b) the worst thing that could ever happen to you.
2. Seeing my mum struggle with urinary incontinence as a result of trauma caused by the birth and go through several (unsuccessful) operations to remedy this.
3. Being told by other members of my family that my mother had no mental health problems until she gave birth (she was sectioned after giving birth to me and continued to have problems all her life.)

Logically of course, I knew that none of this would necessarily happen to me and I always assumed I would have a VB. Until I actually became pg, and found myself consumed with fear.

I also felt ashamed, angry with myself and extremely frustrated to have these feelings. (And oh yeah - did I mention the bit about being frightened of other women being judgemental? )

The hospital DID give me counselling which I accepted gladly. They did NOT try to persuade me into a VB - rather it was to deal with the feeling of shame and anger and, I realise with hindsight, try to ensure all would be well post natally.

Their view was that a CS would be the best thing in terms of my being able to focus on DS before and after the birth. IMO that is very pro-woman and pro-baby.

I am writing this because regardless of what people thought of the OP on the other thread, inevitably there will be other women reading who share this fear and I want to ressure them that I was treated with great kindness by the healthcare professionals I met.

And for those who have not experienced this, to shed a little light on what it feels like.

Tigger - the OP is 10 weeks pregnant from what I understand. No idea why she is sure that she will get regular scans after 30 weeks, as one doesn't get scans on request - only if there is a medical reason, as you know....

She said that she is going to pay for them. Thats why she is sure.

I think that the scans atent medically indicated, but to reassure her that she isnt going into labour, which clearly she wants to avoid.

How is a scan going to reassure someone they aren't going into labor? All a scan establishes is the position and measurements (and monitors things like anmiotic fluid etc).

I dont know. Maybe if you looked at the cervix and saw it was thinning you might have some idea.
Other than that I dont know.

elfontopshelf
That is exactly what happened to me - and it was my nightmare too!
Went into labour with a breech baby the day before the cs was booked. What's more it was such a painfree labout I didn't get to hospital until I was 6cm dilated. Then had a horrible emergency cs which went a bit wrong and was lucky to end up without permanent bladder damage
As I wrote on another thread some vbs are lovely, so are some cses
And some are not
Why don't we concentrate on the positive births for a change and stop scaring each other with the nasties. They get talked about much more for obvious reasons but they are in the minority

MrsMattie, I'm at a loss to understand why a c-section "anti woman"?

Can you please explain this to me?

should read "is anti-woman"?

So taken aback by the language of this post that I have lost the ability to write in proper English.

Ema do you not realise that there may be mitigating circumstances nearer the time that may mean you may have to have VB - so you need to get counselling!

Gosh

I was so anxious and weepy as I went overdue with my first baby by 14 days

Perhaps I can request some scans every week to see how I am progressing with this one

Seems to me like ema is being a little Precious or is that a bit unkind?

blimey!you are being bitty unkind about her

are there not some concerns that women should try to avoid having regular scanning during pregnancy?

I agree with lillymolly she is being extremely closeminded precious.

I dread to think what's going to happen to her if she has to have a VB for some reason or will she just decide she will not and pay them off as she seeems to think you can do..

As far as I'm aware if you're going to pay for a scan you can have one whenever you like Lilymolly, if that means she's precious then so what? It is her money, she can do what she wants with it.

So in answer to your question and basing my answer on the assumption that you would use the NHS rather than pay for yours - yes, I'd say you're unkind to insinuate that you 'requesting some scans every week' is the same as her putting her own money forwards, don't you?