For those of you who wrote negative things to Ema76 about her CS will you please read this.....

[Shooflypie]

because I am really, really shocked by some of the things that were said to her. I am repeating some of what I wrote on the original post on the basis that I think this issue is important.

I recently had an el cs for exactly the same reasons as Ema76. My mother had a 48 hour labour, forceps delivery, severe tearing which led to incontinence in later life (and further operations), was sectioned with severe PND, which lasted for over a year.

She said it was the worst thing that ever happened to her.

My experience was that my consultant took my fear of VB VERY seriously and his view was that a VB would put me at risk of PND and not bonding with my baby. (And btw I am perfectly robust in all respects other than this particular issue.)

I did have counselling, which was great and sorry but their goal is NOT to persuade you out of a CS as some posters assume.

I had an elcs and it was a fantastic experience. And the recovery was fine. And DS did NOT having breathing difficulties and he DID BF while I was still in the theatre.

Please take note of the following in particular:
A significant additional part of my anxiety and distress prior to the cs being offered, was that I was afraid of other women being judgemental of me.

I was so afraid of this I considered lying about the reasons for having a cs, or even trying for a VB (in the hope it would end in an em cs).

Due to a clued up consultant, a hospital psychologist, and a wonderfully supportive DP, I had the birth that was right for me and it has got our life as a family off to a flying start.

I am now very upfront about why I did have an el cs in the hope that it will be helpful to women like Ema.

I really don't understand why having a VB matters SO MUCH to some people that they think it is OK to behave with such viciousness to a pg woman? Or anyone.

Please will you reflect on the experience that I've outlined here and maybe try to be a bit more empathetic when someone tells you she wants a CS.

And bear in mind that a consultant and a pychologist took the opposite view to you.

Besides how do you know I don't have mental health problems.

willy Nilly is it!years training to talk willy about Nilly and remove organs gun-ho

ROFL

I think people should take more responsibility for themselves where they can and not constantly defer to the NHS to do everything for them. But then I prefer to think for myself.

If you did have mental health problems, or anyone close to you did, I would be astonished if you were talking about self-funding for these problems. Or a strictly therapy-only approach at all times.

It's well reported that some women want their wombs removed with no evidence of illness and no history of disease. Consultants are performing these ops.

And if you think people with any sort of mental health problems should 'take more responsibility for themselves' (pull themselves together, hey?) you DEFINITELY have never had anyone close to you with mental health problems. Crikey! Think you might be out on a limb here.

You are kidding me? Self-funding for a phobia for goodness sake. I have tons of friends who self-fund and have had incredible success withing really short time-scales. Likewise I self-fund my health all the time!

I never once said 'pull yourself together'.. we are discussing a PHOBIA ffs

Talk about over-reacting just because I dared to suggest seeing a psychologist first before risking an unnecessary c-section.

RM your attitude smacks of "just pull yourself together" stiff talking to logic

Not all people have internal locus of control some have impaired judgement and decision making and struggle

it is genuinely quite sad that you seem to advocate take responsibility pull yourself together

the measure of a liberal society is how one deals with illness, stigma and cares without stigmatising and attaching blame

fortunately their are progressive services to help individuals who are ill with diminished decision making

eg
early Intervention
crisis team
Assertive outreach
CAMHS

jeez I despair

Ironically the most effective therapy for a phobia ( exposure/ flooding) will be available to Ema absolutly free in the upcoming months.

hello I thought we were talking about a PHOBIA!!!!!

Ah not free I fear we all pay for this. I have a TAX PHOBIA can anyone advise?

No, I despair. You don't like being asked to justify, or even just amplify, your views. YOU were the one who said people should 'take more responsibility' with issues of mental health and that 'a psychological problem should have a psychological solution'. As it happens, I think Ema should have some counselling ANYWAY. But sometimes...other approaches are needed and are necessary.

if an Ax is undertaken and a pt meets the criteria for treatment, it is given free

this includes phobia recognised in ICD-10 and DSM as treatable illness

Belittle someone else's phobia. Charming. NEXT!

eh?! I have to amplify them because you don't get the simplest point, and start ranting about severe mental health problems which I haven't ever mentioned.

. Well what I think is...

ema is a troll. There, I've said it.

Reading through the threads there are massive things that just don't add up.

She's new to mn. Bar one other thread, this and the original threads are the only one she's posted on. Obviously everyone has to sstart somewhere but it seems quite a contentious subject to start a discussion on? especially when you have such a firm view of what you want and apparently have the medical profession at your disposal. Why would she ask on an internet forum if she already is sure she will have a cs, knows she can pay for scans etc?

When the thread didn't get heated she switched from wanting a cs because of her phobia to adding the need to retain a tight fanny into the discussion, something which was guaranteed to provoke a response.

She's apparently 10 weeks pregnant, and already she's been seen not only by a midwife but a consultant? at 10 weeks? most people are lucky if they get seen by the consultant before 26 weeks and at the earliest after the dating scan. There just aren't the resources on the nhs to have pregnant women seen by consultants from the moment of conception, unless the op has a condition which means her pregnancy is more high risk. That isn't something she's mentioned, and if it was a high risk pregnancy then chances are a cs would have been the norm anyway.

And the op is going to have scans and tests from 30 weeks to establish when labour will happen? really? If that was so easy to predict then women would be given these scans later on in pregnancy surely in order to save on having to perform so many inductions.

Ihave no doubt that there are women out there who feel they should be able to choose a cs.

But I don't think ema is one of them - I think the original thread was started in order to provoke a heated discussion.

Now shoot me.

whose be-littling a phobia god almighty are you in a parallel universe?

ranting!
Kettle
pot
black
go figure

and CALM DOWM

bang you requested a humane end

Give up rebelmum - why even read this thread in the first place it has all been said before on the previous one and Ema still didn't listen!

Give up rebelmum - why even read this thread in the first place it has all been said before on the previous one and Ema still didn't listen!

Your points are a little indistinctly expressed and at times contradictory so yes, I've had to press you a couple of times on what, PRECISELY, it is that you mean. I have then said ah, so if you mean X, do you also agree that the logical extension of your argument is Y?

Saying tokophobia is the same as your 'tax phobia' (har har) IS belittling it, yes.