The thread for first time home birthers (or thinking about it) - over here!

[Boobz]

I only just found out I was pregnant 10 days ago, and it is of course early days, but I have been doing a lot of research and am seriously thinking of having a home birth.

I'm a member of my Due March '09 ante natal club thread, but I don't want to go on about home birthing there where the majority will be planning a hospital birth (don't want to bore them!) I'd like to start this thread for all those people who'd like to talk about the pros and cons, planning, expectations and realities of home births, especially if it is your first baby, or first home birth.

Has everyone else's other halves been fine at the thought of a first baby HB? Or did you have to do some convincing?

A

Im planning a homebirth with my first baby, i have an independant midwife and i want to have medical support during labour etc and the same person with me if i do transfer to hospital. My DH was worried at first but having attended midwife appointments etc with me and reading books, he understands why i want it. We have both been confronted with lots of negativity, mostly from his family and I found it herat warming that before i could justify my decision, he had already leapt to my defence as to why i feel a home environment would be better for me.

I also read call the midwife and other books about first hand midwifery stories of deliveries in remote countryside and pre-NHS and feel empowered that women managed home birth long before the last 60 years of the NHS. Today i have the best of both worlds, i can choose to transfer to hospital if i need it. My biggest goal is to at least labour as long as i possibly can at home. hopefully a homebirth will follow that, but i wont be crushed if i end up in hospital as ive prepared myself for the choice

I think DH is okay with the idea of a home birth - I keep asking because I want him to be comfortable with it and he seems fine. He's reading the Marie Mongan hypnobirthing book at the moment (we're mid-course), which is what convinced me, so I'm hoping that he'll find that interesting/reassuring/helps understand my reasons (which are mainly that I want to be left alone as much as possible and not rushed/pushed into anything and that I want to labour in water).

Like you, DoctorsWife, I'm prepared for the possibility of transferring to hospital if necessary, but would at least like to stay at home as soon as possible. Incidentally, my dad is a doctor, and I think he's going to hate the idea!

Congrats on your pregnancy Boobz and well done you for thinking about the birth this far ahead - very organised!

I'm 35 weeks with my first and we've just decided to go for a homebirth. Originally we were going to book in for the local mw-led birth centre as I am very keen to avoid a hospital delivery if at all possible - obviously I'll go if necessary and I'm prepared for the fact that anything can happen, but if I can I would like as little medicalised a birth as possible. However, when we went to see the birth centre (which was lovely) the mw pointed out that their protocols for transferring to hospital are exactly the same as they would be with a HB. Since the birth centre is 30 minutes drive out of town, it seemed a bit pointless going all the way there and then potentially having to be transferred back into town, when we could stay at home and have access to all the same facilities (birth pool, two midwives, gas + air etc.) plus be nearer to hospital AND be able to stay together after the birth.

Am seeing my mw next week when we'll go through it all with her. I'm nervous but excited - I do feel this is the right choice for me/us. DP was uncertain when we first discussed it, way back in the first trimester, but has since changed his mind after finding out a bit more and also speaking to a friend of ours who has had a c-section, a VBAC in hospital and a HBAC. She put a lot of things into perspective for both of us.

Thanks Cyteen - I am one of those research research research people, whether it's a holiday, wedding, birth or just nice pub to eat at at the weekend! I have spent more time on Mumsnet, reading articles on the web and watching Discovery + Health on Sky this week than anything else. Poor hubby!

Doctorswife -- how did you go about find an independent midwife? Is your medical insurance covering it or will you be paying?

I like the idea of birthing in labour as well - god knows how we'll fit a birthing pool and everything in our living room!

Cyteen - it sounds like you're lucky to have a friend who has seen all sides of the argument. My aunt (in law, IYSWIM) had all 4 of her children at home, so will talk to her about it when I get to 12 weeks and the all clear.

erm - that should have been birthing in WATER, not labour.

Numpty.

hi, im planning a homebirth too. booked with an independent midwife.plan is to have pool in lounge maybe watch a bit of corrie or whatevers on at the time!!!had a bit of convincing to do with husband but all well now.made decision to go for homebirth for these reasons 1) hospital protocal where i am is to stay at home for as long as possible (my thoughts were 'ok ill do that and if no problems ill stay home for the next bit too!) 2)after having hospital tour i feel these are poor conditions to give birth in. 3)i hate hospitals, they make me nervous and id like to stay as reaxed as posssible)4)i love the idea of having 2 midwives dedicated to ME and my baby noone else.5)i live a couple of mins from hospital and am more than happy to tranfer immediately if at all neccessary......i could list lots more but generally im taking the attitude of lets plan a hb but be ready to go to hospital should anything arise....best of both worlds,isnt it??

Sorry to gatecrash I had my first at home and it was the best decision I made! Now expecting No. 2 and hoping to have another one.

Booking mine tomorrow - fingers xxxxxx

If I can stick my oar in as a second-timer ;). I planned to have no.1 at home (he had other ideas), but DH was supportive as so as I showed him the stats. THey like their stats, do men.

It helped that he's terrified of hospitals, and really has to psyche himself up to go to one

Congrats, and best of luck

boht DH and I weren't even going to consider it until I spent a day at my hospital due to pains and the midwives were so frazzled and under-staffed it got me thinking and researching. DH's initial reaction was no way, he wanted me in a hospital surrounded by experts in case anything went wrong.

we've been talking about it the last few weeks though and done a bit of research (homebirth.org is brilliant) and he's totally switched! I'm edging more and more towards a homebirth, especially after finding out that you're more likely to have interventions in hospital, that it takes an average of 40mins from them to decide you need a c-section to you actually getting it in hospital and I can get to hospital much quicker than that if we need to, that majority of homebirths transfer because the mother wants more pain relief rather than anything more sinister...also I really want to avoid an epidural or pethadine and am hoping I can be a bit mind over matter - which will be helped being at home and not getting scared listening to 7 other screaming women in agony!

also the mw I would have thought would be more relaxed with only me to deal with rather than 10 of us spread across a ward...it's still a scary thought though so might end up opting for our hospital's home from home birth centre which is on the same floor as the antenatal ward - but then chances are it'll be closed due to staff shortages or non of the pools etc wil be available

Boobz, I have read call the midwife and would love to know what are the other books you have read?
congrats on your pg btw
Am 17 wks pg with DC2. DS born in hospital but hoping for homebirth this time.
xx

Can I join the gang?

I attempted a hb with ds1, but ended up transfering to hospital and having a section. From the off my hb wasn't really supported and looking through my birth notes it is quite questionable that I ever needed to to transfer and much the same for the section.

However I have moved on from that experience and I am having a homebirth with ds2 (currently 33 weeks pg). We have got an Independant MW who is in an absolute angel, as we knew that if we went via the NHS route this birth would be a repeat of the first one.

During my first birth I laboured at home until 9 cms and I have to say I remember that time with real fondness. So I can't wait this time - although remind me of this comment come September!!

anyone else been told "you are nuts?!!??!" by loved ones, friends, family etc?

Even those people who freely admit that they didn't NEED to be in hospital, have been telling me I need my head looking at

All I keep saying is, why go to hospital if there is nothing wrong? I'll if I need to.

Best one was from a grandma who had been at her grandaughters birth - less than 4 hours, g&a only, water pool, everything perfect....ooooh no, if anything went wrong what would you say to your husband? Bring on the guilt trip.

What reactions have you gotten?

I have only told my best friend I am pregnant (other than hubby, obviously) and when I told her I was thinking of having a hb, she said (in an email) -- "I really don't think you're meant to have your first as a home birth! Mainly because of complications and lack of experience but also cause you have to stay in hospital a lot longer when it's your first one....

Not to rain on your parade or anything!! Also - think of the mess!!! x"

I have since showed her some articles and she is coming round, but if my BF thinks that and she's pretty open minded and supportive, God knows what I will get from everyone else. Am interested to know what my husband's parents will say... he's pretty under the thumb with them so I hope they don't apply pressure on him to change my mind...

Feb -- haven't read any books yet - have been far too busy with work and posting on here! But plan to buy some for my holiday coming up at the end of August. Will let you know if I read any good ones..

I have a slight OCD complex with keeping things clean and tidy - hence BF's comment about "think of the mess". Think I will have to get over my mess problem for the birth... unlikely to be a clean and tidy affair me thinks...

I am planning a HWB. Currently 31 wks with DD2.

The first one was induced due to PE. Would have loved one the first time round but it was just not going to happen.

Boobz--I can recommend "Baby Catcher" by Peggy Vincent. It's her memoir about being a homebirth midwife here in the US. It's a really great book.

This is my third baby but my first thought at homebirthing. I don't think I'll be supported by anyone (including midwives) but I still want to do it. My only issue is being 30 min from the nearest hospital.

HappyNewMum - I think most reactions are shock as hb isn't the norm yet. I think people forget that only 60 years ago hb was the norm.
The most common reaction I get is 'are you allowed to have a hb?' That always makes me chuckle as it shows how brain washed we have all become! Luckily my sis has already paved the way and had her dc at home, and my mil had her 2nd at home. So I don't have any stupid comments from family

MKG - Is that 30 mins when the traffic is good on a normal day? Remember that if you transfer, it is unlikely you'll be transferred in an emergency. If things aren't going as the mw would like, she will arrange to transfer sooner rather than later. And if it is an emergency, you will be blue lighted all the way.

Boobz - have a water birth, then all the mess will be contained in the pool

ILiketoMoveitMoveit--Yup 25-30 minutes is speeding, no traffic, and missing the lights (I work 5 minutes from hospital).

My biggest issue is that I have fast labors. ds1 and ds2 were both 3 hours of active labor. And with both I went from nothing to contractions right on top of the other.

My other issue is that here in the States homebirths are almost unheard of unless it's done by a direct-entry midwife, which I can't afford.

I'm hoping I'll go to my appointment next week and the CNM will tell me I can do a homebirth.

Of course ILTMIMI! Why didn't I think of that? Although I have heard of MWs fishing out poos and all sorts with collenders which might make for a funny affair.

People always seem to ask about the mess but I don't remember much. I had a wonderful home waterbirth with my first and am planning a repeat performance for Novemnber. I don't remember any fishing with sieves although one came with the pool! You'll find your midwives may be supportive but non-commital for weeks/months, they'll only confirm it if your blood pressure etc doesn't do anything nasty and baby seems to be the right way up

I have gone out and bought a new sieve

i had ds (2) in hosp even tho i wanted home birth but dh was so against it so went to hosp. Dont regret it but i went from nothing to full in labour in minutes and was 8-9cm when i got to hosp. 4 hours in total.

Am 22 weeks and was umming and aahing about home birth or birth centre (live in diff area now) and spoke to a diff MW today to my normal one and she really put my mind at ease. Im more worried about their not being a MW around to get to me at home and she said because we have the birth centre local they dont do many home births as thats the next best thing for alot of women and that they all live within 15 mins of me. It takes 15 mins without rush hour to birth centre.

Havent told many people about wanting home birth, MIL was all for it which really suprised me and she said she had 1 of her boys at home and was her best birth. Also told my sister and she is very anti and thing im selfish risking my babies life blah blah but then people have their own views on everything eh! Also people have said oh but it'l be nice staying in the birth centre after birth as get a break from my toddler and house. Well 1) unless they take my baby away from me for 24 hours it wont be a break and 2) i dont want to spend a night away from ds and want to try to get live to normal for him as quick as poss!

Like mad4 I didn't tell many people I was planning a HB which cut down a lot on the negative/doubting comments.
A lot of people worry about pain relief but I didn't get to the top setting on the TENS machine and the MW didn't have time to get the gas and air out of her car, DS arrived 40 mins after she did!