The thread for first time home birthers (or thinking about it) - over here!

[Boobz]

I only just found out I was pregnant 10 days ago, and it is of course early days, but I have been doing a lot of research and am seriously thinking of having a home birth.

I'm a member of my Due March '09 ante natal club thread, but I don't want to go on about home birthing there where the majority will be planning a hospital birth (don't want to bore them!) I'd like to start this thread for all those people who'd like to talk about the pros and cons, planning, expectations and realities of home births, especially if it is your first baby, or first home birth.

Has everyone else's other halves been fine at the thought of a first baby HB? Or did you have to do some convincing?

A

hello am reading your thread with interest. I had a homebirth with my son in London 22 months ago (first baby). Was the best thing I ever did. Had MASSES of negativity from in laws and onther people who frankly knew nothing about the risks of hospital births or homebirths, just that age old view 'hospital must be better because of medical stuff around you'. Aaaargh I wish they'd keep their ill informed opinions to themselves.
my midwife told me that if i had had my baby in hosp they would definitely have given me an emergency cesearian as I had been in labour for so long (2 days and 2 nights) and had been pushing for 2 and a half hours. Am so glad I wasn't in hospital as my little boy was born with no intervention whatsover and was very healthy and happy, not distressed but nice and calm. Imagine being born in a room which smells of your family instead of hospital.
If you would like to read a very inspirational book get 'spiritual midwifery' by Ina May Gaskin. It's a collection of birth stories by women on a commune. It's very happy clappy (I'm not religious at all and still loved it) but seriously positive and uplifting. It also has an awful lot of very useful biological info written about in good laymans terms with no scare mongering.
I am now pregnant with identical twins and am really struggling to find anyone who will deliver them at home.
Go with your instinct. Just remember wherever you have your baby, it's only a day or so of labour and wherever you give birth you will have your beautiful baby and the birth will fade quite quickly into the background.

I thought I would start a list of books and links so they are all in one place. If you have anything to add, please copy and paste the list with your recommendation added on.

A modest list to start, but I imagine it will grow with this thread. Thanks for suggestions to date.

www.telegraph.co.uk/health/main.jhtml?xml=/health/2008/04/28/hrowan128.xml&page=3

www.homebirth.org.uk/

Baby Catcher" by Peggy Vincent.

Call The Midwife (author?)

Spiritual Midwifery by Ina May Gaskin

This is from a commercial site but has some useful info on it, such as how to go about actually getting a home birth: clicky

I love homebirths. So much more relaxed and just utterly gorgeous!

What I love is leaving my mums (clients) tucked up in bed with baby and dad. Of course the last homebirth I attended (a few weeks ago) was on a Sunday and grandma came round and cooked a Sunday roast! Yum!

www.telegraph.co.uk/health/main.jhtml?xml=/health/2008/04/28/hrowan128.xml&page=3
www .homebirth.org.uk/
Baby Catcher" by Peggy Vincent.
Call The Midwife (author?)
Spiritual Midwifery by Ina May Gaskin
www.thegoodbirth.co.uk/www.thegoodbirth.co.uk/home_birth

I'm drawn towards one but still don't know. I know it's really unlikely, and the stats and all the rest, but what if something did go wrong? What if there was a problem with the baby after it was born that need instant emergency medical attention? We're only 10 minutes from the hospital but it could die in that time?

I'm really torn between hospital and home, but I have to say it's that fear that's making the decision hard. I know it's really unlikely, but it happens sometimes so what if it happens to me?

DH is lovely, but a bit of a pain! He went to medical school (though he's not a doctor now) so he's very geared to the medical side of it, thinks of births as happening in hospitals, etc. He's seen hospital births that went really nicely so doesn't see why I'd have a problem with that - and if I read him people's stories of bad hospital births, is convinced that they're either one-offs or that the lay-person didn't understand that stuff was being done for their and their baby's own good. On the other hand, he's completely supportive of this being my decision - if I say I want a home birth he'll support that completely and never mention hospital births. It's great that he's got that attitude, but makes it difficult to have a proper discussion with him - he just says "well I feel this, because I'm more geared to a medical setting, but this is your decision and I support that." That's not a discussion!

Hope this all makes sense. My midwife was great when I mentioned it, we have more home births than average round here, and she just said that the midwives all loved home births and that would be great as long as I stayed low risk.

am planning a homebirth, but keeping an open mind in case i need to be in hospital for any reason.

has initially lots of negative reaction. but to be honest i am usually a very panicy stressed person and i think people who know me are pleased/amazed that i am so relaxed about childbirth that they know its the right thing for me.

dh was originallly sceptical, but after fair dose of NCT brainwashing and to sesssions in hospital, he sort of gets it, Interestingly i had a very negative reaction from my community midwife, who said stupid things like "you wont be able to breastfeed." She only does antenatal stuff though, doesnt actually deliver anymore. I contacted my local hospital and asked to speak to a midwife who did homebirths and suddenly she is more supportive!!!

its a big decision and i would say i would reckon you need to be 100% in your mind otherwise you may still be worrying/dithering when you are in labour?? just a thought!

we've mentioned it to a lot of people recently and to be honest as soon as I start listing all the research I've done they just stare in wide eyed amazement - good thing about being the 1st of all our friends to have babies! my mum had my little brother at home so hoping she'll be supportive of it. SIL looked a bit freaked but she's lovely and supportive and there's a chance I'll end up giving birth at her wedding (3 days before due date) so think she reckons it's good I'm fully prepared for every eventuality!

spiritual midwifery is brilliant! very hippy and happy clappy but inspirational (aside from people apparently getting off with their husbands in the middle of labour - sounds nice but REALLY??)

Hi I am currently 35 weeks with No 2 and finally booked in for my home water birth yesterday.
I am so relieved and excited as I was fobbed off with dd1 as it was my first etc...

So Mw said I will be their 1st water birth.
Would you be concerned about this?
She also said I would be catching/delivering baby myself and fetching him/her to the surface.
Is this right?
She said they had a meeting last week regarding home water birth as someone had booked in for one end of september.
I due end of aug so she said I am there 1st.
They do not have water pools at the hospital which is why I went elsewhere to have my dd.(however didnt get to use it due to meconium)
Was that excited yesterday that its only today Im thinking about their lack of experience in this.

Hallo Boobz just found this thank you for starting a thread on it! My DH has now got all nervous after being told (by paediatrician friend as I posted on other thread), that homebirth makes risks for mother and baby equivalent to what they were 200 years ago. I am now a bit upset about this as really want it but don't want him being worried and now he is starting to worry me (even though I know that this person is talking out of their backside)!

So anyway don't have much time to post at moment but is very reassuring to see so many other people thinking about it.

Any non-happy-clappy book recommendations?!

boobz
I looked for an indepndant midwife through the independant midwives association website after someone on here recommended them to me. i have had to pay for her services myself, £3,000. Thats for all my antenatal care, the delivery and 28 days of postnatal care.

I had both my boys at home, it was wonderful.
I am really envious of the journey all you ladies are going to make. It is an amazing experience.
ENJOY!

badkitty the spiritual midwifery has a good biology/training section about half way through, so you can skip out the happy clappy birth stories at the beginning and get down to the nitty gritty

I've honestly found the homebirth website the best source of information

Waves at Boobz.

May I join in please?! I'm nearly 31 weeks and recently decided to go for a HB for my first baby. Many MW teams in my area are fully booked but finally managed to speak to the CM team at my local hospital and DP & I are meeting them next Thursday! I really hope that we can do it as having thought about it loads, we realised that it would be so much better having the baby at home.

Haven't encountered too much negativity yet but have kept it to myself mostly...

We are lucky that we live 5 mins away from the hospital so if I have to transfer then it won't be too bad. Two of my sisters have had homebirths with no problems and both said it was the best thing they could have done. It's very exciting!

I've been reading Ina May, but her "Guide to Childbirth" rather than the Spiritual Midwifery one. Very inspirational. Also have been reading "Home Birth" by Nicky Wesson, "Active Birth" by Jane Balskas and "HypnoBirthing" by Marie Mongan. I've also heard good things about Sheila Kitzinger's book on Homebirth but haven't got hold of a copy yet. All have good ideas about relaxing, moving around and helping to be in the right frame of mind to give birth as naturally as possible. I think it must be possible to choose elements from all these books and find your own way, even if you don't want to follow one individual method.

Or, they may all go out of the window once I'm in labour - who knows! Good luck to everyone anyway.

Just jumping in on this one, thanks for starting this thread.
My neighbour just had a horrendous 4 day labour in hospital and her hubby was sent home after visiting hours leaving her to look after the baby while trying to recover from drugs and painkillers...deffo going to try for homebirth myself!!
With birth pools...maybe stupid question but how do you fill them up? buckets from kitchen to living room? and how do you keep it warm? no one likes a cold bath!! buckets would take forever with a tub that size too
Is it hard booking HB with 1st pregnancy? Am 24 wks and only just decided, with DH's full support, he doesn't want to be left out

Hello pbo, good luck, your neighbours story would poout anyone off hospital!
I had a home waterbirth and blowing it up gave DH something to do when I was in the early stages going don't fuss, I'm fine! We used a hosepipe to fill it and adjusted the temp by putting more hot water in, the MW kept a close eye on the water temp cos noone wants the baby to get a cold shock and gasp full of water
I would recommend it to anyone and was surprised how positive my CMWs were

To all those concerned about mess ? I checked with our insurers who said that any accidental mess on carpets etc would be covered?.

Also had a chat with our nct teacher yesterday as I got the fear about needing forceps etc but she reassured me that the midwife you are with is ultra cautious and will send you in straight away if she has any even minor concerns.

Just to say, if there's no reason not to, do it do it do it!

I had my first at home and am planning a second one any day now. DH was really supportive, but I think it helped that we'd been to hypnobirthing classes which are quite pro-HBs.

Personally I wanted one because I'm quite scared of hospitals. It makes me laugh when people tell me I'm "brave", reckon you need to be much braver to have a hospital birth IMO! I had to stay overnight in hospital a couple of weeks back, and a midwife was telling me that they're so stretched that if you have a baby there you only have an hour to push before they "intervene"...

Update: Saw midwife for 31 week check up yesterday, all well, and very very pleased to be booking me in for my HB! Yeyyyyy!

Went through all the pros and cons, wrote me a checklist of stuff to sort, risks to be aware of (ie Saturday night blue light service can take a lot longer than on a Monday etc), drugs prep, when they will deliver the pool, how to hire a tens .....

Whooooo, I am so pleased she was so positive. Then later I got a call from the main HB midwife, who invited me to the next HB meeting and to meet some other recent HB moms, lovely chat and very positive.

I feel so much better now it is booked.

As my dh said last night - he so wants it to be September as he wants to meet baby!!!!

pbo; my pool came with with a pipe and tap adaptor, so just filled straight from the hot tap. it does take a couple of tankfulls, though (unless you're luicky enough to have a combi boiler).
They're well insulated, so once filled, stay at temperature for 12+ hours.

I seem to remeber it came with a pump to empty, too. But that wasn't my job-I was busy elsewhere!

happynewmum2be that's all so exciting and positive! good on you both

I am another first timer planning a HB.

I asked my NHS midwife about it at my booking in and she seemed fine about it, just have to hope I don't have any complications.

Interesting to hear about some of the reactions you guys have had from family. I have only discussed it with my DH who is on board. Both our families can be a bit "stuck in their ways" so since it would probably be a suprise to then, I'm not sure they would come round to the idea. Don't feel like I need to justify myself to anyone else anyway so probably won't tell anyone until after the event, unless I absolutely have to.

I'm thinking the same IceCube - I'm not planning on telling our families until after the birth. I think they just wouldn't understand and would think I was being selfish and risking their grandson.

Hello

What a great thread! I am 38 weeks pregnant and planning a homebirth for my first baby. I am planning a water birth and have bought a birth pool in a box. Midwifes are very pro-homebirth around here and especially home water birth. I also have a doula - she is fantastic and i know will help advocate for me if i do have to go in to hospital. DH is very keen on pro-birth - mainly because we have a number of friends that have experienced hospital and home births and found having the baby at home to be much better. My mum knows and is happy but i haven't told the in laws because they would be very concerned.

Oh and I also agree that "Home Birth" by Nicky Wesson is a good book and has lots of facts in it for concerned DH / DP's.