The thread for first time home birthers (or thinking about it) - over here!

[Boobz]

I only just found out I was pregnant 10 days ago, and it is of course early days, but I have been doing a lot of research and am seriously thinking of having a home birth.

I'm a member of my Due March '09 ante natal club thread, but I don't want to go on about home birthing there where the majority will be planning a hospital birth (don't want to bore them!) I'd like to start this thread for all those people who'd like to talk about the pros and cons, planning, expectations and realities of home births, especially if it is your first baby, or first home birth.

Has everyone else's other halves been fine at the thought of a first baby HB? Or did you have to do some convincing?

A

I haven't seen my GP since I first told her I was pregnant - I've only had contact with midwives since then.

don't see why you can't request to have appointments with midwives, if only to ask? i was suppsoed to have my 24wk appt with GP but had to book anti-d with midwives so they said just have the whole appointment with them, if that helps.

never hurts to ask

A few points noone seems to have mentioned yet (I'm an academic researcher pregnant with my first and have spent a couple of months applying my research skills to this one!):

1. In many areas of the UK, given hospital infection rates and poor cleanliness ratings (see the govt's 2007 survey on all maternity services in the UK for scores in your area, it's online at www.healthcarecommission.org.uk/homepage ), it's actually safer to give birth at home. The cleanliness of post-labour wards and bathrooms is a particular concern. Just ask any friends who've had hospital births if you want some anecdotal evidence too...

1. The vast majority of births are completely safe to have at home when supported by midwives - the comment about 'going back 200 years' is inaccurate as any UK midwife has had modern medical training, must be registered with the Royal College of Midwives and undergoes continual updates to her training.

1. One concern to check with your midwife if you go down the independent route (I did): what happens if something goes wrong? They can't generally be insured at present so get a clear agreement as to how to proceed if you're not happy with the care.

I chose independent midwives in the end because HB on the NHS is a lottery - some areas do support it, others pay lipservice to the idea.

For instance, they will tell you (late in pregnancy) that your home 'isn't suitable'. This is virtually always nonsense - all you need is running water, a reasonable space (not huge - even a birthing pool is only about 5 foot) and privacy. Access is used as an excuse but an ambulance will always get to you if you need it (as it does in any other emergency). In most areas, if the hospital maternity services are busy, community midwives are required to work in the labour ward and you can be told at the last minute that your planned HB can't go ahead. (If this happens, say you're not going in and they have to send a midwife - but you'll have to be firm and be prepared to stand up for your rights, not ideal with contractions!).

My midwives have a system where we can pay over 18 months so it's working out as less than our joint gym membership - well worth it, given the peace of mind it's brought.

I think I would definitely be going for a home birth if

• I could afford to hire an independent midwife

• or if the NHS midwife I have seen wasn't so overwhelmingly negative towards home births

When I asked her about homebirth, she admitted that it could be arranged but absolutely no pain relief would be available except for gas and air and they find that almost all first time mothers who request one transfer to hospital anyway in the end. I asked if these were emergency transfers or e.g. due to a need for pain relief and was told that it was sometimes for pain relief but often in an emergency "and the last time we were waiting a very long time for an ambulance". She would not put me down for a homebirth but did say if I really wanted one I could arrange it at a later date.

The midwife did not seem very confident in taking blood etc and I realised I did not want to have to rely on someone like her, who did not want to be involved in a home birth, as the only professional present when I give birth. Maybe having a decent doula there would make it easier.

I had my second home birth 9 weeks ago
we're both doing great I had no tears no stitches no drugs at all

my Oh was fine with it my first HB was not his child and unplanned and he has 3 others so he's seen it all and was confident about it.
we had a code set up that if I felt any need to go into hospital then I'd say " I want liver" - I HATE liver so it was something that couldn't be mistaken!!!
anything else I was staying put.

people worry about pain relief ( it was a HUGE worry for me until I started research) you can have gas and air in most cases that is just fine and adequate but you can also have a prescrition for pethidine or meptid 3 weeks before EDD
half the pain is the fear of the pain
if you sit back and think nature is SO very clever and designed our bodies to birth
it is mainly fear and interfernce that hurts the most learning to relax and breathe helps overwhelmingly
self hypnosis was great for me and colour breathing and learning the art ( and it is an art) of trusting my body
so when I felt the need to kneel over a cushion I did just that when I wanted to walk around I did and I was very clear to OH what I wanted

the midwife you see will probably not deliver you there are community on call midwives who deal with HB day in day out
that was my huge fear also if I had a midwife who didn't agree with my choices how the hell would it "work"
so I spoke to my midwife who was fabby in the end when she realised I'd made an informed rational choice , naturally she had to be sure I was sure what could happen and prepared to take those risks
she reassured me that any midwife coming out is in agreement with Hb and trained more toward not intervening and working with your body
you cannot be refused a HB it's your choice if the MW doesn't want to then you need to know why and take up those risks and weigh them up
it can be overwhelming when these people are guilt tripping you that you are endangering your own child but overall you are it's mother and you will ALWAYS know what is best if you start being intuitive , now is the time to start learning to use it and empower yourself about what is right

luckily I'm a "normal" with no presentation risks at all
if she can't give you an adequate answer then you can speak with the head of midwifery to discuss it.
you don't need to be gung ho , just sure of your choices and your rights and not be bullied into doing something you don't want to do.

here are a few sites that I found very useful www.homebirth.org.uk/
www.unassistedchildbirth.com/sensual/sex.html
grab a cuppa and read everything it's enlightening !!
I have a few more but not in any prder I'll come back with some

Jo62 - who are these midwives with the payplan?

Having just heard a very positive home birth Experience from my OH's frined I am starting to wonder, if I did get pregnant maybe I should consider it. It would be my first though.

Can you tell us more about it Beanie?

Thanks SparklingSarah, for sharing your experience. I had the impression from my MW that she was one of the midwives who might have to reluctantly attend a homebirth. That it just depends who is on call.

Midwives who specialise in HB would be a much better idea, because they would have more experience of it and presumably not think it a bad thing.

My MW went on about how it was better to be in a hospital in case the baby needed to be in a neonatal unit. As far as I understand it, from the medical literature, they don't actually make much difference to a baby's longer term prognosis anyway. Besides, I live in the city so would only be an ambulance ride away if extra care was needed. Though she said that the last time they had to call an ambulance they were waiting "a very long time"

Had both my births at home. It was a wonderful relaxed experienced both times. highly recommened you try, if thats what you want, don't let people scare you off.

Can I join you on this thread? I'm 30 weeks with my second child and planning a home waterbirth using hynobabies techniques.

I tried to have a homebirth last time but it was cancelled after I developed complications

What complications?

I developed pre-eclampsia with very high BP.

It really dawned on me that it was very high when it spiked again in hospital and the bed was suddenly surrounded with midwives and doctors who were getting to take pill after pill to bring it back down fast.

I can, though I don't know if she posts here so I won't type out the whole email.

It went someting like this:

Waters broke unexpectantly when driving. Turned the Car round and went straight back home. Three hours later they called the midwife who said for them to wait another hour. 2 hours later the midwife arrived but hadn't brought the gas and air, thinking things wouldn't have progressed far. My OH's friend was 6-7 cm dilated though ! 2 hours later another midwife arrived with the gas and air. An hour later the baby was born on a duvet on the sitting room floor. They didn't have the birthing pool set up.

All sounds very easy and straightforward. First baby too

Sounds great - are you trying for a baby now?

Just seen this thread and wondered if I could join too - all the advice so far has been really helpful. Thanks for starting this Boobz and to all who have shared their experiences.
I'm currently 28 weeks pg with my first DC and am really hoping to have a HB. I have booked a doula who is really pro-HB so that's great. I mentioned my desire for HB to my mw last week and she was also very positive, although there are two outstanding issues atm. One is that the baby showed some renal pelvis dilation at the 20 week anomaly scan so I'm being re-scanned at 34 weeks to see what the situation is. I had a 4D scan last week and the sonographer checked the baby's kidneys and the dilation has reduced since the 20 week scan so fingers crossed we'll get the all clear at 34 weeks. The second issue is that I tested positive for GBS during my last pregnancy (I later found out I'd suffered a mmc). The mw tested my urine for GBS earlier this pg and the test was negative. However, she is now saying that I should have a swab at 36-38 weeks just to rule out GBS. So I haven't been booked in for a HB yet, although the mw assures me that it can be arranged right up to the last minute and my request has been recorded in my notes. However, I feel as though I'm now in limbo waiting for various test results. My doula doesn't think the GBS swab is necessary, but will support me in whatever I decide (that's another issue!). I intend to continue to plan for a HB and see what happens. As Thedoctorswife said right at the beginning, I guess I should be aiming to stay at home for as long as possible during labour and anything else is a bonus
Fortunately I've had no negative comments when I've mentioned my intentions to people and although DH was initially a bit unsure he has come round to the idea.
Looking forward to hearing other positive experiences

hey everyone - had my 28 (29) week appt on friday with a lovely midwife who really reassured me about my major worry to do with homebirth (that the hospital is a good half an hour away) - she says a blue light service can get to my house and back in 25 mins tops in heavy traffic and the midwife would call and the first smallest sign of anything not going to plan...she was lovely and totally positive and said she'd talk to me again at 36weeks and we'd book me in then if I wanted - but not to worry and I could still go into hospital if I wanted. Just feeling really good about it now - especially as the baby is already in the perfect position (I know there's still time to move but taking it as a good sign) and my pregnancy has so far been uneventful

fingers crossed!!

I went to my niece's christening this weekend, and met my SIL's sister's kids (2 daughters both under 3). Apparently they were both born at home, one on the drive way and one (nearly) on the loo as she just didn't make it to the hospital in time both times. Sounds easy peasy.

Hello - hope you are all well.Just to keep you all updated. I am now 40 +1 weeks (so officially overdue). Have everything organised for home birth and hoping baby is going to come soon! I will keep you updated about whether i end up having the baby at home and how it goes.

Hi Cricri - nice to see you on here xx

Hi all waves to Boobz .

Thought i would come and join you, im currently 11+5 weeks pg with my third DC. Im not a first timer to HB as my DD2 was born at home, however this was unplanned (super quick labour) and was delivered by the paramedics. So the planning side of things are all new to me.

I have already spoken to my MW about a HB and she was very positive and thinks that a HB would be the safest option for me.

OOo Lcy - do keep us updated with your birth - on the edge of our seats!

Hi 2CD - did I know you were planning a HB already? I think I did... is difficult to keep with all the March 09'ers...

Can I join in please?! I'm currently 23 weeks and thinking quite hard about home birth for a number of reasons - most of which have already been said here! I spoke to my GP about it today and she was very positive, so it's just a case of talking to the midwife at the 25 week check and seeing how things go from there...

I completely, and utterly recommend homebirth. I had DD1 in hospital, and knew from the second she was delivered that I would never do it that way again, and said as such to the midwives at the time!

There are several classic myths that you'll get thrown at you as reasons why you shouldn't/can't have a homebirth, my favourite two are;

1. There aren't enough MW's on duty, we can't send one out, you'll have to come in.

The hospital you are "under" has a duty of care to send a MW to look after you as you give birth to your baby. They cannot, even if you are experiencing complications and yours or the babies life is at stake, force you to go to hospital. They can merely recommend that you do. I encountered this at my 10 week booking in appointment, and I laughed in her face. I countered it by writing my birth plan out as a letter and sending it to the head of midwifery and asked that it be circulated amongst the team who where looking after me. One of the things I requested (apart from pointing out that I knew they had to send someone to me etc) was that no MW who was unsupportive of HB be sent to me when I was in labour.

1. You need to go into hospital just in case things go wrong.

Hmm, I could actually write a degree dissertation on this particular pile of shite. If things were not going well and you needed a c-section the MW looking after you at home would phone the hospital and tell them she was bringing in an urgent c-section case and the wheels would start to turn and the theatre would be prepped, the aneasthetist would be bleeped and so on. This takes around 20 minutes. As long as it takes you about 20 minutes (or less) to drive to the hospital then it won't take any longer to get into theatre for a c-section from home than it would if you were in a delivery room in the hospital.

If you are in hospital for all of your labour you are much more likely to have serious pain relief (mainly because you will almost certainly be monitored and this means lying on your back, which is inefficient, painful and exhausting). As a result of this you are more likely to have either an assisted delivery, either ventouse or forceps, both of which will leave you with an episitomy and a baby with a bruised and sore head, and much more likely to have a c-section.

All homebirth kits contain gas & air, (many include pethidine) a peads resuss kit, scales, sterile dressings, local anaesthetic and "stitching kit", absorbant water proof pads, gloves and so on and so forth. The MW doesn't just turn up with a bucket of hot water, clean towels, a pair of marigolds and a strip of leather for you to bite on during contractions!

The BEST thing I bought (apart from my birthing ball) was a huge sheet of waterproof tablecoth. It had a hideous green and pink rose pattern on the "shiney" side, but that went face down on the sofa/floor leaving the plain white "flocked" side uppermost. It was comfortable to sit and walk on, it soaked up blood and amniotic fluid without becoming slippery and it came from the remnant box in a fabric store and cost about £4!! Even the MW's said it was brilliant, far better than shower curtains or plastic sheeting.

As for what to read;

www.telegraph.co.uk/health/main.jhtml?xml=/health/2008/04/28/hrowan128.xml&page =3
www .homebirth.org.uk/
Baby Catcher" by Peggy Vincent.
Call The Midwife (author?)
Spiritual Midwifery by Ina May Gaskin
www.thegoodbirth.co.uk/www.thegoodbirth.co.uk/home_birth
Guide to Childbirth by Ina May
Home Birth Nicky Wesson
Active Birth" by Jane Balskas
HypnoBirthing by Marie Mongan
ISheila Kitzinger's book on Homebirth (Birth Your Way)
Birth Reborn by Michel Odent
Childbirth Without Fear by Grantly Dick-Read

Go for it, it is without a doubt the best thing I ever did!

Monkies

Thank you Green Monkies for your post - I think you're speaking the same language as everyone on this thread already. I am booking in with my midwife next next week and feel empowered to know what I'm entitled to and to speak to her confidently about it.

Can you tell us about your birth story in more detail? I love hearing HB stories.

And I love telling mine! Here it is;

Well, after having grumbley contractions Friday night, and again on Saturday night and Sunday night, when they started up again on Monday evening I thought it was just par for the course. How wrong can you be?!

I got out of the bath (with DD1) about 7.45 and the contractions seemed a bit stronger, by the time DD1 was in her pj's (8.30ish) I was having to walk them through and breeeeeeaaaathe! I checked my cervix after DD1 had gone to sleep (about 9.30 I suppose) and it was gone, flat, effaced and starting to dilate! As I was trying to phone the MW (just after 10pm) the contractions got much more intense, and when I rang my mum they were really going.

The MW arrived about 10.30, I was in the bath, and the contractions were only a couple of minutes apart, if that, and very long and intense.

I got out the bath and she tried to assess me, but the contractions were so intense and so close together that she couldn't get a fetal HB as I couldn't stay still long enough! She had a go at an internal exam, but abandoned it for much the same reasons. We got the stuff out, DP spread out the waterproof sheeting on the sofa and the floor and the MW got her bits together.

I suddenly realised I was pushing, and then the second MW arrived. The next thing I knew the head was out, and there was a short break in contractions. So I rested on my ball, holding the head with one hand, and with the next contraction she was out. The MW and I caught her together and she passed her through my legs to me and DP and I were gobsmacked to see we had a little girl. They left the cord, as requested, we cut it between us (the MW and I) when it stopped pulsing after a good 15-20 minutes and about 15 minutes later my placenta slooshed out. She weighed in at 7lb 13.5oz, a whole pound bigger than DD1 was! My mum got here (she lives an hours drive away) about 5 minutes after she was born!!

I did it all on my knees resting my chest arms and head on the ball, which was great as I could rock through the contractions which really helped. Start to finish it was less than four hours, I realised I was in real labour at about 9ish, and she was born at 11.41pm. Just slightly quicker than last time!!

This was the exact opposite of DD1's birth, it was hard work, a bit painful in places, and sadly I did have a small tear with 3 stitches in it, just next to my episiotomy scar, but it was a fabulous experience, I'm really glad we opted for a homebirth, DP was happier in the end, he described it as "quite mellow", so it was clearly a world away from DD1's birth for him to.

Monkies
(would you like my hospital one too? )