The thread for first time home birthers (or thinking about it) - over here!

[Boobz]

I only just found out I was pregnant 10 days ago, and it is of course early days, but I have been doing a lot of research and am seriously thinking of having a home birth.

I'm a member of my Due March '09 ante natal club thread, but I don't want to go on about home birthing there where the majority will be planning a hospital birth (don't want to bore them!) I'd like to start this thread for all those people who'd like to talk about the pros and cons, planning, expectations and realities of home births, especially if it is your first baby, or first home birth.

Has everyone else's other halves been fine at the thought of a first baby HB? Or did you have to do some convincing?

A

Hello everyone! Nice to see how the list has grown, and makes me feel all the more confident that a HB for my first is the right thing to do.

Badkitty - that comment about HB's being like they were 200 years ago is a bit of a misnomer. Women have been having babies at home for a hell of a lot longer than they have in hospital, and it was only in the last 60 years or so that the government has skewed women's views on where it's best to give birth (since the advent of the NHS). I did find some research (will post it later, if I can find it again) that looked at infant deaths during birth over the past 10 years in the UK. I did the maths, and the death rate for hosptial births was 0.08% and homebirths was 0.09%, and this number is only slightly higher because it is rounded up! The reason it is so low is because at the first sign of trouble, you transfer straight to the hospital, so you're basically getting the best of both worlds all the medical attention you need if the baby is in distress (having transferred to hospital) or staying at home and giving birth there if it's a normal, low risk pregnancy. Read some of the links (below) which go into the "What if" scenarios you'll be pleasantly surprised that a) you're less likely to get into those scenarios during a HB because you're more relaxed and giving birth the way your body wants to, and b) very little difference can be done at a hospital if something does go wrong (apart from a prolapsed umbilical cord, which is 1 in 10,000) as the midwives would do exactly the same as the doctors would do in a hospital to get the baby breathing / stop a haemhorrage etc.

DoctorsWife -- thanks for your info re independent midwife. I'm currently looking into what my hospital can offer me, but this may be a road we go down if we can afford it..

Hi Playing! Good to see you over here - thought it might be an idea to save all the HB chats away from our Due March thread..

Jenny - thanks for all those book recs -- have updated the list for people below.

No more news my end - am booked in to see MW on August 14th, can't wait!

A

www.telegraph.co.uk/health/main.jhtml?xml=/health/2008/04/28/hrowan128.xml&page =3
www .homebirth.org.uk/
Baby Catcher" by Peggy Vincent.
Call The Midwife (author?)
Spiritual Midwifery by Ina May Gaskin
www.thegoodbirth.co.uk/www.thegoodbirth.co.uk/home_birth
Guide to Childbirth by Ina May
Home Birth Nicky Wesson
Active Birth" by Jane Balskas
HypnoBirthing by Marie Mongan
ISheila Kitzinger's book on Homebirth

Hi Boobz, good luck for your appointment on the 14th. I've managed to arrange to see the Community Midwives at the hospital next Thursday! Very excited about the prospect of a homebirth. Have a good evening!

Just found this thread which talks about what you need for a HB - might be helpful:

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/1365/573920?pg=1

My mum bought "Call the Midwife" and I read it yesterday. I can't say that it was helpful, although a very good read. But what it brought home to me is that even when the medical profession was doing its utmost to deter HBs, the people who it actually affected ie the mums, were very much against it. It does tell how medical advancements have contributed to the overall baby survival rates over the years.

There is a lovely story about a lady who had 25 babies, including a preemie, that made me want to cry a bit - but then again, everything does at the moment!!

My mum and dad have actually been very supportive, with the only caveat from my mum being, if the MW says go to hospital - GO!

Apart from my brother and SIL (who had a difficult first birth) the vast majority of people have been intrigued more than anything. And I think they all know me well enough to know that I have researched all this to the nth degree (over analyse? me?) and wouldn't contemplate something that would be dangerous. It is when I point out that so many of their parents, and grandparents were either born at home or delivered at home, that they realise it isn't such a far out idea at all.

Hi all,
I am 12wks with #2 and seriously considering a homebirth.

The biggest question for me and dh at the moment is about our ds. What do you do with your other child(ren)?!

Do they stay at home being looked after by someone else? If so, are they traumatised by hearing their mother in labour?

Any thoughts?!

I'd pack him off to the grandparents, personally, but I'm sure there is a more family-friendly approach which includes everyone bonding at the same time. I haven't had any kids yet so I suppose I might see it differently for number 2, but the idea of a small child wandering in and out of the room with a baby's head sticking out my flaps might be a little too much like the exorcist for a small child...

Thinking about a homebirth (33 weeks), especially if it turns out the hospital might get arsy about guaranteeing my partner(s) can stay with me after birth.

My SIL had her first a few months ago at home - I was planning to just go to the nearby excellent hospital at the last minute, for extra peace of mind - I have usually little faith in my body to 'tell me what to do', especially as it didn't tell me I was pregnant for four months. And the midwives and other hospital care have been excellent. It's only not wanting to be alone after birth that's making me waver and think that when it comes to it I might just refuse to let MrNC get me into the car. Depends what time of day it is I guess.

Fortunately my GP and three midwives have all said I can have a homebirth if I want, so at least no problem there (joys of overcrowded south London hospitals). And I could guarantee a birthing pool if I bought/rented one. Admittedly it would have to go in the kitchen which has a glass wall, but might be an incentive to the builders to finish our loft before I give birth! Choices, choices...

BTW Boobz, I am doing a prenatal yoga course in Earlsfield which I am really enjoying - it focuses a lot on breathing exercises and stuff which should (hopefully!!!) be helpful during labour. There is a new course starting September, I just thought I would mention it as you are also a St George's girl so it might be local to you - check out www.anoushkasyoga.com.

Hey Badkitty - that's brilliant - I'll look it up now and book it. Have always meant to get into yoga but never quite managed it (would rather go for a run instead) but am keen for pre-baby yoga. Are you signed up - will I see you there?

Yep I will be there I have also always been more into running/gym than yoga, and pre-baby yoga certainly doesn't count as strenuous exercise - however after initial scepticism I am starting to find the breathing exercises v calming and think I can see how it might help. And I think the baby enjoys it as well - at least it always seems to start dancing around at the end of the class!

How fara gone are you badkitty?

22 weeks - due on 1 December. I guess you must be about 2 or 3 months after me?

Just 7 weeks here - early doors! Am not going to book yoga class until after scan on August 18th -- which may mean I miss out on a place but don't want to lose £155 if the bean doesn't make it!

Hello fellow preggies!

I am so happy to have run into this chat today especially as I just got back from a very heated and negative discussion with my GP about HB. I am 12 weeks preg. and although I had a hospital birth with #1, I (and DH)decided that HB might empower us to be able to make more decisions about how the labor and birth progress. #1 was born in US and it seemed like the minute we walked into the hospital, all decisions were made for us because "they knew better." ANYWAY, I was feeling quite guilty and upset after GP flat out said "I NEVER advise home birth for any of my patients." After 15 minutes of discussion about why I wanted it and her basically saying "and what if something goes wrong and you end up with a dead baby?" she referred me to the local hospital MW group as she sighed, rolled her eyes and said (under her breath) "hopefully they will talk some sense into you". While I anticipated a bit of resistance, I wasn't quite prepared for the GP to accuse me of endangering the life of my unborn child. Walked out of the office second guessing myself and wondering if I am a bit nutty to consider HB.

In any case, I am glad to hear all of the positivity from this group. It has made me see that there are two sides to the discussion and that I am not alone in my hopes for a non-medicalized birth.

BklyntoUKmom - i think i would be changing GP's!

My god Bk -- I would have given her a good slap! It always surprises me when midwives are so narrow minded. Surely they should know more than most the advantages (and yes, disadvantages) of a home birth.

BklyntoUK-I'd seriously think about making a complaint at such non-evidence based emotive medical practice. Homebirth has been shown, statisically to be as safe or safer than hospital birth, the NICE guidelines say all women should be offered it, and tbqh I suspect the local midwives will "talk some sense into you"-and support you to birth at home.

Am very on your behalf

Thanks for your replies! I am still getting used to a completely different healthcare system, an unplanned (but not unwelcome) pregnancy and a still fledgling group of girlfriends to discuss this stuff. So, your positive words (and indignation) are just the encouragement that I needed. I felt so blindsided this morning by the GP's reaction that I am certainly hoping that the midwives will be a bit more receptive to the HB idea. In any case, I really do appreciate the positive HB vibes that have permeated this board. I will be lurking in future to follow all HB discussions....

Hi, hope you don't mind me butting in too?

I had DS at home 2 yrs ago (first baby). DH & didn't mention it to many people beforehand as reactions tended to be a little extreme. My mum was supportive tho, she had an (unplanned) homebirth with my younger bro. I'm 19 weeks with DC2 and hoping for homebirth again, considering getting a pool this time.

Mess - other people will clear this up, you will be too busy gazing at your baby. I was high as a kite on hormones and noticed nothing around me .

My mum is coming to stay around my due date and will look after DS, I wouldn't want to send him a way and disrupt him too much. Have a fab experienced MW this time who is v supportive of HB.

Ah, BklyninUK, I would be changing GPs and complaining to the practice manager before doing so. Your doctor needs to be retold that her opinions have nothing do to with the Guidelines set by the National Midwifery Council, the NHS and NICE.

The decision to have a homebirth, all medical things being well, is exclusively down to the mother and health care professionals are paid to support us with the decisions we make. Not pass on their cockeyed biased and ill conceived opinions. I am on your behalf.

While here, please look up the book Guide to Childbirth by Ina May Gaskinon amazon or some such place.

You can join the yahoo groups for homebirth and for midwives. there are lots just knowledge about the nhs system and about childbrith to be gleaned by just reading the posts.

you may also want to familiarise yourself with these two websites: here and here

hey everyone - just catching up after spending a week away with my mum. She had my younger brother at home so was hoping to pick her brains about it, but she was quite reluctant to discuss...not sure why because she says my birth in hospital was pretty horrid and my brother's at home was lovely but that's all she'll say - not sure if she is still angry about my dad not being around for it and so it's coloured her view? (stupid brother was 3 weeks early so dad was working in africa!)

going to talk to my midwives this week at 28wk appt and hope the community midwife group have got space for me

I have just delivered my sisters first baby at home. It was very fast and although I hadn't planned on delivering her, the on call midwives simply didn't make it in time. It was a beautiful delivery followed by a physiological 3rd stage so totally drug free. She coped fantastically and I'm very proud of her! However, I am still rather shocked at the speed of it...38 mins start to finish!

middyme that's amazing! oh for a homebirth like that...

notcitrus carrying on the St G/Tommies debate, that's the other thing that swayed me - after birth I think St G's make DH go home outside visiting hours and I think Tommies lets him stay overnight if you're in the MLU and need to stay over (might be different on the ward)

Just wondering if anyone can comment:
I'm planning a HB but am seeing my GP for my 32 and 34 wk appointments - and lovely as she is, she won't be attending the birth. I would much rather see midwives from now on, if only to meet as many of them as possible -but is the current set up of GP/MW apptmts pretty standard? I've been told that the birth will be attended by community MW representing St Georges Hosp.