The thread for first time home birthers (or thinking about it) - over here!

[Boobz]

I only just found out I was pregnant 10 days ago, and it is of course early days, but I have been doing a lot of research and am seriously thinking of having a home birth.

I'm a member of my Due March '09 ante natal club thread, but I don't want to go on about home birthing there where the majority will be planning a hospital birth (don't want to bore them!) I'd like to start this thread for all those people who'd like to talk about the pros and cons, planning, expectations and realities of home births, especially if it is your first baby, or first home birth.

Has everyone else's other halves been fine at the thought of a first baby HB? Or did you have to do some convincing?

A

Boobz,

My top books are;

Birth Reborn by Michel Odent
Birth Your Way by Sheila Kitzinger (and any of her other books about childbirth etc!)
New Active Birth by Janet Baslaskas
Childbirth without Fear by Grantly Dick-Read
Breastfeeding Matters by Maureen Minchin
Three in a Bed by Deborah Jackson
Attachment Parenting by Katie Granju
(check your local library before you order anything from amazon)

YumMum22,

Copy and Paste the relevant bits out of those letters and send it, if they still resist approach the other hospitals personally and see if it is possible to be referred to them by some other means.

Monkies

Thanks Monkies!

Hello angeklpoise....sorry about the house hon, ugh how rubbish!! have you told your parents yet about wanting a homebirth? will reply to your email today...don't stress yet though - streatham told me they woulnd't book me in til 36 weeks at earliest anyway so hopefully you have time

Boobz - hopefully you will be ok with St George's - I suppose it may depend on who you see but they seem to have a policy of supporting it, certainly the midwives I have seen so far have been supportive (even booked me in for home birth at my v. first appointment - subject of course to pregnancy going ok), and even my GP seems happy about it. Also at St Georges they hold homebirth groups every so often where you can go and talk to midwives and also other people who have had homebirths. Haven't been to one yet but it is nice that they have them as suggests they don't have policy of forcing people to go to hospital if they don't want/need to.

the home birth groups sound brilliant....

Am seeing MW on Tuesday so will start the conversation then. Still not sure whether to go down the (v. expensive) independent midwife route!

I was asked to pop my HB story on you all here- I have copied and pasted original announcement, and will just modify if that's OK?

As many of you won't know me, a bit of background: I live 60 miles away from any family with my dh and then 3 sons, 2 registered disabled which caused me big childcare worries, also a DH who workked 30 minutes or so away on night shifts and no friends or neighbours to help.

I had a Doula, Jofeb from MN, becuase I was worried about having to transfer alone (ds2 and ds3's hospital births fine- actually ds2's great- but ds1's not due to pre-eclampsia, and having ahd two sons dx'd with dsability I have psychological problems with the hospital iyswim).

the doula also helped me get a HB as the MW at first was against it due to history, but becuase I'd had 2 fine births after and agreed to transfer if any problems that was cleared with also the help of AIM's, by letter as am quite shy.

Anyway:

Sebastian George Peach, born this morning at 12.34 am, weighing 8lb 3oz. 8 days late.

Started getting pains at 9am but have had many false starts so didnt get excited. 2.5 hours later still 15 minute intervals, decide to go to loo and immediately they start coming at 2 minute gaps and lasting a minute each!.

At 11.45 knelt over birth mats (thise pamper change ones) in living room, screeching my head off in a very unladlylike manner, still assuring DH it's all going to stop soon and I know it's not the real thing.....

Midnight DH forces phone into my hands and makes me call hospital, who send midwife out immediately after hearing me swear my way through two rushes in the duration of phone call - DH then calls my Doula, who fortunately has had an inking and is ready to jump in car!

12.15 MW turns up and demands to know why I'm not using the entonox- erm because the MW carries the mouthpiece? So she has to go out and grab it. Cue some comic moments as she tries to get the valve on, then hands it to me- nowt there. She assures me there is, DH checks and cannister immediately begins to leak manically.... he has to run outside to the road with the whole thing leaking very cold compressed gas. Don't know whether to panic or PMSL at this point!

Finally get some entonox and Jo turns up, 12.20 now. MW and Dh trying to figure valve and I'm there going um babies coming now..... Jo can't get to me because MW blocking her way.

Baby arrives 15 minutes later, about 5 minutes before 2nd mw. Dh running around fetching hot water etc, so Jo really appreciated for calming me down a bit
Anyway, baby latched on immediately and has been feeding well ever since bar a good sleep this morning- I haven't slept though, he's too gorgeous. Absolutely eprfect. Boys adore him already, even DS3 (who is easily swung when a baby arrives with a new train for his train set.....)

All well now, feeling a bit battered and still in a bit of shock at the speed of it all but really pleased not to be rpegnant any more (and keep telling DH he's my hero as without him would have delivered on the floor stills wearing baby not coming at all)

Will pop pic on profile later.

Quicker bigger ones (he's a lb bigger than ds3) definitely hurt more.... but it was worth it for the comic keystone cops moment of Dh running around with leaking gas cannister (oh and for the perfect little sweetie of course )

update realy that it was the most exciting non-event ever: boys met baby a few minutes after delivery and they all still adore him; recovery was so quick I even managed school run the same afternoon pmsl.

(and not this morning- April LOL)

Thanks Peachy! great name too...

As requested by boobz on another thread, here is the long version of my hb (ds permitting...)

I knew I wanted a home birth as I'm hospital phobic, and having seen my sister deliver her ds at home was fairly relaxed about what to expect. I'm in France, though, so it took a bit of searching to find a mw who did hb, but we did eventually find one and she was fantastic.

We had a bpiab. We inflated it as soon as we got it which is a good thing as there were a couple of leaks that we repaired. I had been losing some amniotic fluid for a few days, but it had stopped so we had decided to wait rather than panic and go for an induction.

At 3 am I was in bed and felt a fair gush of liquid. Dh woke up and asked what it was, I said nothing as was having no contractions and wanted to get some more sleep. At about 5 the contractions woke me up but were no more than strong bh. I decided to get up (and dh jumped out of bed, he had been lying there unable to sleep with excitement for two hours!). We decided to get everything ready just in case, filled up the bp with hot water and then hung out. My contractions were frequent but not strong. At about midday we called the mw to give her the heads up, but told her it wasn't proper labour yet.

She said she would drop round in the pm just to check on me but to let her know if things really got going. The afternoon was pretty much the same (I sat and knitted ) and she dropped in at around 6pm.

She examined me and said I was around 4 cm so starting active labour. She was a bit concerned about the length of time since my waters had gone, but agreed to wait another 12 hours before going into the hosp for tests. She then left, instructing me to have dinner and saying she would be back after dinner.

At about 8pm the contractions started getting stronger. At about 9 pm I decided to get into the pool. The water was great, but really slowed down my contractions, so I would come out until they were pretty strong and then go in when I needed a break. I also got quite hot in the water, so was happy to alternate.

The mw came back at 11 pm, examined me and said I was 6 cm, and that labour was most likely to happen in the next 4 hours, so she would go sleep in the other room. She said I should now stay in the pool until the delivery, as she did not want my temp to fluctuate too much.

So I got in the pool and by now the contractions were quite strong. I went tottally in on myself, and just talked to ds. Between contractions I was fine, talked to dh, but was essentially unaware of anythin other than dh, ds and the water. Dh had to tell me what the mw was saying, as I didn't even notice her (not sure exactly when she came in, she told me later that she was dreaming that we had had the baby without her there, so she rushed over and I was in transition!

Dh was by now in the pool with me, massaging me and telling me to relax and stop pushing between contractions (relaying the mw's instructions!). At 12.30 ds was born, dh received him as he came out, picked him up and gave him to me.

I then came out of the water to deliver the placenta, bf ds and went to bed while dh cleared up the mess!

Would love to do it again.

Wow that's an amazing story ib - thanks for coming to share it with us. So that was your first then? What did you call him?

Hi, thought I would add my story. Decided to have dd2 at home, mostly because it took ages after dd1 before hospital would let me come home, strangely, and also because a friend had a home birth and was very inspirational. Hired a full blown thermostatically controlled pool (can't remember how much, a few hundred pounds I think) but well worth it imho. Was 10 days overdue. I suffer from extended 'pre-labour' period, so for five days before I had mild contractions every five minutes and was severly sick this time round for a day or so too. The midwives visited a few times when things started kicking off (one very grumpy told me just to go to bed and try and sleep, when I was sure I was in proper labour but she was just tired and fed up after a long day I think but I cried and cried- she even told the on-call midwife that if I rang up in the night I probably wouldn't be ready even though she left me at 5pm! DD1 went to stay with a friend. Anyway by 10 pm I was fed up, dh was getting some rest and I decided to get in the pool, even though they tell you not to in case it slows things down early on. It was amazing! Then i got into bed and visualised having my baby safely and happily, and fell briefly asleep/resting. Woke to stronger contractions and coped with them for a while before calling midwife at 1 am. She queried whether I was really ready until she actually HEARD me having a contraction and then she said immediately 'I'm on my way - call an ambulance if I don't get there in time!' She called the second midwife to fetch the underwater monitoring thing. She was lovely actually, i am really glad it was her. She examined me on arrival and said I was over 5 cm so could get in the pool. Had some gas and air leaning over the side of the pool. I would say the pool made the contractions easier to cope with, but not necessarily less painful. Just before delivery midwife said if I wanted the baby delivered onto my tummy I would need to turn over - I was leaning over side - but I said NO WAY could I move, it just felt right where I was, so she delivered dd2 up onto my back. My waters didn't break until 1 second before she was born. It was amazing, I felt completely euphoric and blissed out. (Compared to scared and overwhelmed and unable to move due to epidural first time). They asked me to get out to deliver placenta and dh cuddled dd2 skin to skin. I gave first breastfeed, so happy it went well, because dd1 took 3 days to start to feed. My placenta wouldn't come unfortunately so we had to go to hospital in an ambulance (came amazingly quickly) with dd2 in her car seat, bless (so tiny in it), and dh following behind. The midwife came with me, even though it was to a different hospital than the area she was from (on call system). I had a spinal and they pulled out the placenta and raggedy bits. That bit was surreal, because it was 7 am, so me, dd2, and dh all kept dozing off (me even while having my spinal put in), and the ENTIRE surgery team changed i.e. swapped shifts, in the middle of my procedure so new people kept wandering up and taking over and people kept saying goodbye. I was horribly pale so I had to stay in that day and night on the delivery suite and have two pints blood transfused. It was quite hard managing to pick dd2 up to feed and get someones attention to change her nappy because I had blood going into one arm. But all that sounds horrendous, but the funny thing is I felt amazing from right after her birth and I couldn't have cared a jot about what was happening to me..I was just glad she was OK. DH came back with dd1 later, who was fairly uninterested (age 2) but glad she visited, and I managed to persuade them to let me leave later on instead of transferring me up to the ward. I would definitely have a home birth again although since friends bad experience (not home birth though) I might be cautious if there was any chance baby was breech. My midwife sent me in for a precautionary scan even though she knew baby not breech really, because I was having home birth. A warning for DH's if you use a pool - I think clearing up was quite a gruesome experience for my dh, the water was extremely red and of course gets worse/smellier the longer you leave it in a heated pool - he put the cover on before we left in the ambulance and the room was all cleared up, but quite a big job emptying and cleaning the pool. Of course people lose different amounts of blood, I certainly couldn't have got back in the pool after like some people do. Sorry if tmi! I wasn't aware of it at the time though and didn't notice the state of it.

Yes, our first (and only so far).

Yay - I've finally made contact with the MWs in the area I've just moved into and am meeting them on Monday, when I'll mention the possibility of home birth for the first time - so please keep your fingers crossed for me!

Fingers crossed Anglepoise - glad to hear of your progress! I see you are posting at Mumsnet during the graveyard shift too - I must really get a life.

Thanks! Yes, I've always been a night owl, never had early nights even in the first trimester. Hoping I can persuade the DC to stay up until 2 and sleep until 10 each day

Sounds like a plan. I am still trying to convince the dog not to sleep in the bed (between me and my husband - she is almost the same size as me) so not sure how I am going to be able to convince my child to adhere to my sleeping patterns.

Are you called Anglepoise after the kind of light that is recommended in home births?

OK - my eyes are turning laptop shaped. Off to bed.

angelpoise fingers crossed for monday, really hope they're up for it - what about the folks?

Thanks! Not mentioned it yet - may as well wait and see if it's a possibility. I'm quite tempted not to mention it at all until afterwards - they're about to go away for a month, so won't be around unless I go overdue - but I think DH thinks we should (particularly as I may give birth in their house!).

Sadly I'm named after boring office equipment, after casting around for inspiration while at work, but I might change my name to AnglepoiseUpTheFanjo

Boobz, have skimmed some of the thread but not read it all properly so apologies if someone's already said this.

You mentioned a while ago that you're a bit of a neat freak and not keen on mess. I'm exactly the same. And I had a cream carpet in my bedroom but still had a HB with my first. We put an old sheet on the bed with a tarpaulin underneath. Once I'd given birth, the midwives ran me a bath and while I was in it they cleared up all the mess, put clean sheets on the bed and took all the old ones away with them. So please don't worry about the mess!

Would definitely recommend HB. DD (first) was born at home but had to go into hospital 2nd time round with DS. I found I didn't care where I was for the actual birth as it didn't really seem important - but it was sooooo much nicer being at home afterwards and able to curl up with your new baby in your own bed. Much better than a boiling hot, noisy ward

Thanks for the tip Fleecy -- surprisingly I am getting less and less OCD about the house these days... am so tired all the time (still first trimester) that i can't be bothered to do anything or whine at hubby when he doesn't do anything.

Still, most people would still think our house is spotless compared to most... it's just me that knows where every bit of dust is.. (DH is enjoying the break from cleaning as well).

Yay - met with the midwife this morning, and while she didn't seem wildly enthusiastic (she just kind of said "Right" in a non-committal way), it does seem that our local health trust or whoever is in charge is quite supportive, because she handed us a leaflet telling us all about how positive HBs are and gave us details of a local drop-in HB group that we can go along to. And we're booked in! (though she did say we might have to go in if we phoned up and there were no MWs available at the time)

sorry have only read OP as am at work (!) but just wanted to say i had a HB for my first (and only so far) baby and although it was a looong labour, it was a v positive experience and i am so glad that i did it in retrospect. I did have a doula and would really suggest getting one if you can possibly afford it, as if your labour is long, your mw will prob only pop in and out and my dh and i would have got very anxious and probably gone to hospital without the support of the doula.
Also, i would say keep an open mind - i do know a few people who really wanted a HB and it didn't work out in the end and it took them quite a long time to get over it - whatever happens the most imp thing is the health of you and your baby

am having loads of itching right now, not hands feet or face but all over body, no rash. Planning to call MW in the morning but am getting a bit anxious it could be cholestasis and that this will mean no HB. Pls cross fingers for me, someone!!