Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Original poster

Dignity during labour

281 replies

Ashchall95 · 27/01/2022 12:28

Hi everyone FTM here....

Due in the next 4 weeks,

I did a post a few days ago about not wanting to be naked during labour etc and everyone was saying how you don't need to be but also so many people saying that you loose all dignity and won't know anyway is that because the pain is so unbearable you forget where you are and you don't even realise what's going on? Or isit just through choice in the moment that you start stripping off and your fully aware of what your doing? I hope it makes sense but just trying to get an understanding of how bad it's going to be, I can't ever imagine me being in a position that I would be that out of control that I would be willing to strip naked in a situation like that, I'm definitely over thinking things as the times getting closer but would like to hear your opinions l, please be kind 😬

OP posts:
Malteser71 · 27/01/2022 12:30

Why on Earth do you think you’ll be naked?

Limegreentangerine · 27/01/2022 12:30

Hi op
I was like you didn't want anyone looking or staring or being naked .
I was in so much pain I just stripped off and honestly did not give a fuck who was looking 😂 good luck you'll do fine!
Pain relief is wonderful!

Limegreentangerine · 27/01/2022 12:31

Naked till I got into the gown * I should say 😂

CloseYourEyesAndSee · 27/01/2022 12:31

I really didn't think twice about being naked or exposed but I wore a short nightie to give birth in that was easy for the midwife to pull up when necessary. I was wearing trousers when I turned up and was examined wearing just a t shirt and almost walked out into the ward like that before the midwife spotted me and wrapped a sheet round my waist. You'll be in so much pain you won't think about it!

Original poster
Ashchall95 · 27/01/2022 12:31

@Malteser71

Why on Earth do you think you’ll be naked?
I don't and really don't want to be but keep seeing all these posts about woman stripping naked and loosing there dignity and I just want reassuring that this won't be the case!🙈
OP posts:
Mayblossominapril · 27/01/2022 12:34

I thought I’d be bothered. First labour I was naked for the first part then put a t shirt on. Second labour I couldn’t get my trousers off fast enough they were just adding to the pain. When I got on the bed as strangely it was comfortable there, the midwife just put a light cover over me.
To be honest I didn’t care but the staff were excellent they covered me, explained exactly what they were doing, all very respectful.

LanieM87 · 27/01/2022 12:35

I didn't strip off, I did change from my pj shorts set into a nightie which my mum and midwife helped me into, I wasn't bothered at that point about her seeing me naked.

I didn't have an urge to strip off. I believe my nightie was probably hiked up. But yeah you really don't care at the time. It's a strange thing.

Santahasjoinedww · 27/01/2022 12:36

Many many dc. Never naked giving birth. Shoes on for 1 of them!!

Hoppinggreen · 27/01/2022 12:37

I’m a very private person and while I am not sure I lost “all” dignity I wasn’t too bothered to be honest and I dont have much of a clue what went on down below either time.
I didn’t strip naked though and I didn’t feel too exposed at any point
I do think you have to get your head around the fact that childbirth and it’s aftermath is anything but dignified
Some people really don’t care and some do but generally the mw will acknowledge and stick with your boundaries (if safe to) as long as you are very clear with what they are.

scaredsadandstuck · 27/01/2022 12:38

It's very hard to explain OP, but there is something about being in labour that is very primal. You honestly don't care - it might also be because typically the people around you really don't care either.

But you don't have to be naked (although you will need to uncover the vital bits!!), I was only naked when I got in the water and then I felt sort of covered up by the water.

But honestly - you won't care, I promise.

WingBingo · 27/01/2022 12:38

In my experience, I really didn’t care.

It’s not that I lost my dignity, the threshold is different.

You don’t have to be naked if you don’t want to be though. It’s up to you.

SliceOfCakeCupOfTea · 27/01/2022 12:40

Well I certainly wasn't in so much pain I was unconsciously stripping. I have never heard of anyone who was?

What did happen however was I ended up in spontaneous labour so wasn't necessarily dressed appropriately. I was wearing a longline jumper and jeans. Jeans came off for obvious reasons and I always find hospitals roasting so the jumper came off not long after as I was so hot.
So I had a bra on and that was it. I did have a hospital gown for waddling to the loo and back but after 13 hours it I couldn't be bothered with that anymore.

It's not like a normal experience at all. I was in a high risk private room as I was only 33 weeks when it all started kicking off. My little room became mine and DH's 'home from home'. We spread out, had the TV on, only had a dr or nurse popping in to check how I was getting on but most of the time it was just us. So because that room became 'ours', we both got more comfortable in there. I was happier lying on 'my' bed in my bra with the blankets on, not because I lost dignity, but because I was just doing what was best for me at the time.

I think if you overthink it too much you'll be worrying more about what might happen, about things not going to plan etc.

PerditaNitt · 27/01/2022 12:40

I wore a short nightie both times. I found very soft modal ones with lots of stretch so that they were comfortable and didn’t get in the way of labour (easy to hike up and pull back down). You won’t need to strip off fully in almost all but the most extreme of circumstances, so please don’t let this cause you any unnecessary anxiety.

AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken · 27/01/2022 12:40

I gave birth on my kitchen floor, stripped down with my mother in law standing in the corner staring.
I didn’t care at the time because I was totally focused on my labour.
Afterwards, and still now, I’m absolutely furious she didn’t allow me my dignity and leave the room despite my husband asking her to leave us alone multiple times. I don’t think I’ll ever forgive her.
Oh my blood is boiling again thinking about it! Haha

ricketybeauty · 27/01/2022 12:41

No one can really answer “how it will be”. I was talking to a friend yesterday who loved childbirth and for her it didn’t feel like pain as such. For me it was really properly painful. Completely different labours so it just depends how it goes for you.

Try to put this very specific worry out of your head though - if you’re managing then you won’t have to get naked and if it ends up your removing clothes like a wild animal then you probably won’t remember it anyway and just don’t ask to be told! Try and stay calm about it all.

Steelesauce · 27/01/2022 12:41

If you get hot, you will strip off and not give a monkies. I wasn't naked with any of mine though, had a nightie on but if I got hot, I'd of happily been naked. You will do whatever your instincts tell you, that includes shouting, swearing, snapping at people. You go almost primal in labour. And you can poo yourself, and you won't care either.

DropYourSword · 27/01/2022 12:41

I was one of those that thought "I bloody will care"...I was wrong! You really really don't have the headspace in labour to care.
But also, it's totally up to you. Why are you stressing about this. You can wear what you want. No-one is going to force you to strip naked!
I don't ask this in a mean way. But it's obviously deeply worrying you. Why is that?

Toanewstart22 · 27/01/2022 12:41

I was never out of control
I remain clothed (because so quick!)
And didn’t feel I lost my “dignity” in the slightest

AmbushedByCake · 27/01/2022 12:42

I don't necessarily think that I lost my dignity being naked. I couldn't bare to have my clothes on, DD was born in a July heatwave and the labour ward was scorching, plus labour was physically intense, I was boiling to death. My dignity was long gone before that when I was vomiting and gushing waters with every contraction! Good times Hmm then I had to go to theatre for forceps and had my legs strapped up in the air, I was in a gown by that stage (I think? I was off my tits on drugs) but still not what you would call dignified.

SickAndTiredAgain · 27/01/2022 12:43

I was naked, which wasn’t something I’d planned. But, no I wasn’t out of control etc. I was in a pool, and moving positions so bits of my oversized t shirt were wet and then not in the pool so I got cold. But I did find that the t shirt annoyed me more than it would otherwise have done, floating up, clinging in places etc just pissed me off. I’ve read other people say that things touching them during labour was really irritating.
But no, I didn’t take it off because I lost control - I was cold around my shoulders where it was wet, so I decided I’d be happier with it off, which I was. DD was born in the water and when I got out, we were wrapped in a towel/blankets, so I was only actually properly naked in the pool so didn’t feel exposed. Especially as the position I ended up in was leaning forwards against the pool edge while kneeling, with my arms resting on the top of the pool, so nothing was particularly visible.

If I’d particularly wanted to not be naked, I could have left the top on, had a bikini top/bra on, or got out of the pool and put on another top. I wasn’t beyond making that decision.

Lemongrass9 · 27/01/2022 12:44

I didn’t have un urge to strip off but went in wearing a nightie/dress type thing and took it off while waiting to be examined as I was in pain and I was hot.

Took knickers off to be examined so was just in a stretchy crop top/bra type thing. I stayed like that until baby arrived. Not because I had a desire to be naked, but because I genuinely didn’t think to change/put my knickers back on. It was warm and I was concentrating on getting through contractions etc. It’s not that I didn’t care who saw what more that it just didn’t occur to me that everything was out because my mind was otherwise occupied.

Hugasauras · 27/01/2022 12:45

Naked doesn't equal losing your dignity anyway . I was naked from bottom down in labour and just a bra on top. I didn't feel I'd lost my dignity; it felt totally natural, It's more that your overriding concern is comfort, and sometimes that concern is far more strong than your desire to stay clothed!

I don't think it's something you really get until you're in the situation tbh.

Samanabanana · 27/01/2022 12:46

Why do you equate labour and or being naked during labour with losing your dignity? No one knows how they're going to react in labour. It is very primal! I have been through one labour and two births. I have been naked and I have had a massive pain killing suppository shoved up my arse after an elcs. I have been milked like a cow to get breastfeeding established. I'm still in full possession of my dignity Grin

Best of luck for your birth.

MrWhippyBloon · 27/01/2022 12:47

I gave birth during a heatwave and labour took several days, for the last 12 hours of it I think I was naked as I vaguely remember my mum getting a bit embarrassed for me and trying to put a dressing gown round me while I was dripping with sweat and screaming with pain. She didn't succeed Grin

WillowySnicket · 27/01/2022 12:48

It wasn't about losing dignity so much as an overwhelming urge to be comfortable and free from clothes! I am SUCH a prude but all I cared about in that moment, with such clarity and calm, was to take my clothes off and be freeeeee!😄 Focus, you might say. I was very focussed on getting the babies out, so was prepared to do whatever it took at the quickest easiest way