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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Original poster

Dignity during labour

281 replies

Ashchall95 · 27/01/2022 12:28

Hi everyone FTM here....

Due in the next 4 weeks,

I did a post a few days ago about not wanting to be naked during labour etc and everyone was saying how you don't need to be but also so many people saying that you loose all dignity and won't know anyway is that because the pain is so unbearable you forget where you are and you don't even realise what's going on? Or isit just through choice in the moment that you start stripping off and your fully aware of what your doing? I hope it makes sense but just trying to get an understanding of how bad it's going to be, I can't ever imagine me being in a position that I would be that out of control that I would be willing to strip naked in a situation like that, I'm definitely over thinking things as the times getting closer but would like to hear your opinions l, please be kind 😬

OP posts:
Forshorttheycallmecomp · 27/01/2022 13:57

My squeamishness about nudity meant that I’d never had a smear test before my first birth*. I really didn’t matter who saw what. It’s a little bit of an out of body experience, the person I am in Labour existed, ans she was me, but she also did things that I’ve never seen/heard since.

But, honestly, wear whatever you want to wear…

*I have now, many times, and it’s much much better than being naked and giving birth

thisplaceisweird · 27/01/2022 13:57

So what happens if you do 'lose all dignity' - why do you need to be perfect and proper in this situation? you are pushing a human out in a hospital. it's ok to lose whatever your concept of 'dignity' is and cut yourself some slack.

If it's something really troubling you, speak to your midwife before the birth.

Nevermakeit · 27/01/2022 13:58

I think in the moment, it's not so much that you are in such pain that you can't think about it, for me it's just that priorities change and being naked or not just feels very trivial and unimportant.... especially when the people around are usually women.
You can manage it though: ensure your legs are shaved, and things like that. And definitely bring or wear a nightie with front fastening or similar. That way you are not actually naked, you can reveal strategic bits of you, and you have something to pull over yourself.

LavenderBlue95 · 27/01/2022 13:58

I was the same. I remember during a really bad contraction telling DH to pull my nightie down so nobody saw my bum. I'd already had several internal examinations by that point so I've no idea why I was like that Grin

EarlGreywithLemon · 27/01/2022 14:00

I had an extremely painful labour - back to back baby and absolutely no break from the pain between contractions. So much so I was screaming the place down for hours and was given an epidural at just 1cm. At no point did I lose control (other than the screaming, which I decided I was just going to go for because it was helping me cope). I even had pethidine before the epidural, which made me out of it for a bit and then I remember it was a bit of an effort to string my words together in the right order. Still remained clothed. I wore one of these: www.happymama.co.uk/maternity-clothes/maternity-nightwear/delivery-hospital-gown-180589.html?___SID=U
I chose it because I knew I wanted an epidural and it has poppers at the back. I wore it as a breastfeeding nightie afterwards.
I had to have a gown when we went to theatre, but i remember the anaesthetist was asking why they wouldn't just let me stay in this, as she thought it worked really well.

Allpenguinsarepingus · 27/01/2022 14:03

@JuicySatsuma85
Yes, most women have midwives or drs checking their cervix, babies position etc but ´elbow deep’ is a gross exaggeration that could scare OP. My arm from fingers to elbow would reach my sternum ffs. Fingers inside yep. Further than is comfortable yep. Anyone unlucky enough to require more than fingers and we’re talking manual removal of placenta in theatre under with a spinal or epidural anesthesia. Even then ´elbow deep’ is an exaggeration.

XmasElf10 · 27/01/2022 14:03

I had a home water birth and had a top on. I eventually got cold and go out and put a dressing gown on. I was never fully naked and pain isn’t my abiding memory… more sort of “deep focus”. Labor lasted all night and apparently my play list went round 4 times but it felt like half an hour to me. I don’t feel it was unpleasant or hugely undignified. Good luck!

SingingSands · 27/01/2022 14:03

I remember being suddenly SO HOT and just whipped my gown off (my nighty had already succumbed to my waters breaking like Niagara Falls!).

I didn't feel undignified though, I actually felt really empowered. I felt safe and supported, and that what I was doing was bigger than anything else in the room.

Hope that doesn't sound totally barmy, but giving birth to my first baby really was my "I am Woman, hear me ROAR" moment Grin Looking back I still can't believe I did it. Twice!

Mothership4two · 27/01/2022 14:04

I had a long tshirt during labour for both my pregnancies. I wasn't ever at a point where I wasn't aware what was going on, but there were times when I had other things on my mind! Obviously your lower half will be exposed during birth. Like others have said, it's unlikely that you'll care by this stage!

Good luck!

Blinkingbatshit · 27/01/2022 14:05

I really don’t think there’s any dignity in childbirth whether you’re clothed or not!! I have a friend who was so scared her husband might see her poo she barely ate in the week before she was due🙈…just nuts! I’m pretty sure I wore a teeshirt the times I wasn’t having a csection…but think I’ve blanked most of it out😅

Englishgirl9 · 27/01/2022 14:05

I wore a button up nightie from boohoo. It was quite short, so easy to pull up when required but I could walk about in it. When baby came I could unbutton the top buttons and have him against my skin inside of my nightie.

But equally was in so much pain tbh I wouldn't have cared if I was stark naked with nipple tassels on.

If you go in prepared with an outfit you'd feel comfortable in. When you're in at the start they might be monitoring your belly with the big straps round it etc, so need stomach to be accessible. Also need nethers to be accessible. So a nightie /dress you are happy to pull up, or t-shirt and loose skirt/shorts?

GreenFingersWouldBeHandy · 27/01/2022 14:05

You can always ask for a sheet or something else to cover you.

The main thing here is the healthy birth of your child, and you being healthy, not someone seeing your fanny for a moment (which of course, they will do seeing as a baby will be coming out of it).

Believe me, they won't be staring out of choice.

Chill out!

Learningtofeminist · 27/01/2022 14:06

It’s not that the pain is so great, more that labour is quite an animalistic experience where your hindbrain takes over and there’s no real way of knowing, when you haven’t done it before, how you’ll react. I’ve been naked for both of mine, mostly because I want to get into the bath very early on (home births so I could wait in the bath while the birthing pool filled up).

I also don’t do people poking my genitals - this was not respected in my first birth but for the second I’d had a debriefing with the senior midwife and she made sure it was. And I get knocked out for the repair work afterwards (although both times I would have had to be in theatre for the repair work anyway).

Just because there are more important things to worry about, doesn’t mean your dignity shouldn’t be respected - it’s general widely acknowledged now that, in the absence of any complications, the safest way to give birth is the way that the mother is most comfortable with. Just be prepared for the fact you may not care so much on the day Grin

JaffaCakeGal · 27/01/2022 14:06

It is entirely up to you how you give birth. I was naked in a pool, but I chose to be naked as I am more comfortable that way. It didn't feel undignified to me, even though I apparently did do a poo Grin. If you want to keep clothes on then keep them on, and if not then no-one will judge you for it. Have you looked into hypnobirthing to help you manage the "pain"? Not for everyone but it certainly helped for me, I would describe it as pressure rather than pain and I loved the experience.

TheOrigRights · 27/01/2022 14:07

You don't lose your dignity, your focus changes and you just want to get more comfortable and help the process. The environment should be such that removing clothes and being examined etc won't feel intrusive or embarrassing, just part of the delivery and birth.

It is strange to think about beforehand and when I think about my sister (birth partner) seeing the whole thing it seems kind of odd as in normal circumstances we obviously don't see each others genitals!

This has been my experience.

toppkatz · 27/01/2022 14:08

It's fine, you stay covered if you want to be. They have to see what's going on down below obviously, but you are perfectly able to keep your top half covered. You do not have to strip off. Stop worrying.

Youdoyoutoday · 27/01/2022 14:09

You don't have to be naked but please bare in mind that the midwives have seen everything before, nothing you do or say will surprise them.
Just go with the flow, you will be OK! Flowers

JanuarySunshine88 · 27/01/2022 14:09

First labour I wore a nighty until I got into the pool and just whipped it off and was totally starkers 😂 I did bring a little pink crop top to wear in the pool but I was no way messing around putting that on! I blame the pethadine to be honest.
Second labour I didn't even have time to get changed and gave birth fully dressed in the dress I had been wearing all day! Its perfectly clean too, and it was white, obviously I lifted it well out of the way! I didn't have pain relief that time and felt much more 'with it' and remember far more about the birth than I did with my first.

deleteasappropriate · 27/01/2022 14:10

Can you link to a post about being naked @Ashchall95 so we can get a better idea of what you're worried about? I've been here a long time and have never seen any posts like that, so would be interested to see the context.

ivykaty44 · 27/01/2022 14:11

I had dd1 in a very hot summer, I was naked throughout labour

dd2 I had in a very cold icy winter and had a short nightie on

what do you want op, nobody will judge you

as for labour being painful, everyone is different and there are plenty of different pain reliefs available

Jenhen89 · 27/01/2022 14:11

Trust me, you won’t care if you’re naked or not… or probably even notice.

DobbyTheHouseElk · 27/01/2022 14:11

I lost my inhibitions not my dignity. I ended up in a hospital gown, but was quite happy in my bikini top no bottoms in the birthing pool.

This thread is quite scary for someone about to give birth! Remember you will be in a private room with a midwife. I had the lights dimmed and it was nighttime. Don’t worry.

steff13 · 27/01/2022 14:11

I have given birth three times and was never naked.

If you willingly strip off your clothes, how are you losing your dignity? You made the choice.

Hshuznw · 27/01/2022 14:14

I wouldn’t see it as “losing dignity”. You and your body are about to go through one of the most biggest experiences ever, and will be in pain, that in that moment you need to do whatever you can to make yourself as comfortable as possible. Something the midwives would have seen before hundreds of times before you.

concerned3022 · 27/01/2022 14:14

I think you have to wait and see once your in that situation. I'm a very private person and when pregnant I said no way will I be naked while giving birth, took nighties and a bikini for the pool.
I ended up so focused on my breathing and what I was doing that I didn't give a damn about being naked, I was just in a zone. You don't lose your dignity, the midwife's have seen everything and they couldn't care either all they are focused on is keeping you comfortable and making sure baby arrives safely. Your over thinking it.

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