Dignity during labour

[Ashchall95]

Hi everyone FTM here....

Due in the next 4 weeks,

I did a post a few days ago about not wanting to be naked during labour etc and everyone was saying how you don't need to be but also so many people saying that you loose all dignity and won't know anyway is that because the pain is so unbearable you forget where you are and you don't even realise what's going on? Or isit just through choice in the moment that you start stripping off and your fully aware of what your doing? I hope it makes sense but just trying to get an understanding of how bad it's going to be, I can't ever imagine me being in a position that I would be that out of control that I would be willing to strip naked in a situation like that, I'm definitely over thinking things as the times getting closer but would like to hear your opinions l, please be kind 😬

I had very similar worries to you: I was very anxious throughout my pregnancy and was expecting labour to be terrible, but when I was woken up by contractions on the day my son was born, I found myself enveloped by the most incredible deep calm. It was as if my body just took over and said 'I know what to do'. I had a home birth (with a pool, but I didn't deliver in it in the end because the water wasn't quite deep or warm enough) and it was actually a lovely day with lots of laughter! I saw both my best friends, DH went to the chippy at lunchtime, we watched Laurel and Hardy DVDs, and then, as @XmasElf10 puts it so perfectly above, I went into a place of 'deep focus' for the later stage and my body just did what it needed to do. Yes, it hurt, but not all the time - there were completely pain-free spaces between the contractions and there was only one, at the point of transition, that I felt I couldn't cope with. I didn't feel out of control or scared at any point, and the midwives treated me with such dignity and respect and encouragement throughout. It was a very primal experience and it showed me a strength I didn't know I had. Trust your body - you've got this!

I didn't expect to be naked but I had an emergency c-section and I remember them whipping my gown off completely and painting my belly. It was a full room so not my finest hour but, in all honesty, that was the least of my worries at that time and I knew I was never going to see any of them again.

I think transition is the most 'animal' moment of our lives. Humans as animals don't wear clothes. I think that's why a lot of women feel compelled to take their clothes off at that point. Nature takes over and we just want to be as nature intended. I remember with my eldest clawing at the monitors on my bump trying to remove them. The cannula in my hand was next of my list (I planned to refuse one for second DC if they'd ask)

I didn't lose my dignity. I also didn't poo (or if I did no one told me I did) but I went very into myself and focused on birth and nothing else.

If you don’t want to strip naked, you won’t! If you’re in that much pain and don’t care, you can. And you won’t care! Either way there’ll be no judgement form anyone, and the midwives will support you through.

I would never want to strip naked and so I didn’t. Just had a vest top on. Honestly pretty much anything goes, don’t worry about going totally crazy and stripping off like a madwoman. That doesn’t just happen automatically when you go into labour!

I think it's more being dressed appropriately and clothes getting in the way. If you wear a short dress, that is obviously more practical than trousers, for example. The other thing is that you need all your concentration to have a baby and aren't really focussing on your appearance. I think it's more like being really hot and taking your jumper off. It just makes sense to do that when you're too hot. Some of my clothing was making me uncomfortable so I took it off to feel more comfortable. Everyone else to mind their own business.

Hi op.

I didn't want to be naked. I am very body shy, and I managed to keep my t-shirt dress on both times. I didn't feel the need to take it off.

Good luck

I wasn't naked, I had a top on but went in with leggings. Didn't really have chance to get changed so obviously leggings and knickers came off but I kept my top on. I didn't have any pain relief so was very aware of what was going on, although I didn't really care. But you honestly don't care, the last thing on your mind is who is staring at you and whether they see you fully naked or not.

I was too hot while giving birth so stripped off. The midwife gave me a lovely light sheet but to be honest, i wasn't bothered. Personally I was more comfortable and the staff were lovely and it was all about what made me more comfortable.

I had a couple of different birth experiences- I wonder if telling them might be helpful? I do understand that fear about a specific unknown part of labour- I think for me it’s a worry about a lack of control?

In my first I was at home in bed with a nightie on when labour started, and I stayed dressed that way all through early labour. When things suddenly escalated such that I needed to hurry to hospital, I was in enough pain and distraction that I found my bra really difficult to put on and felt very stuck about getting changed. My DH helped me into a vest-top, pants and trousers and I was happy that I was ‘dressed enough’. At the hospital I undressed to get in the pool but I somehow found the wherewithal to put my bikini top on so I still felt ‘dressed enough’.

My second labour was stop start and when I realised it was serious the whole household was asleep. I woke them up swearing because I couldn’t mange to get my bra on again, or my boots. Something about pain limiting fine motor control for me? But DH remembered the drill from the first time and helped again.

Third time I was induced. I had to take my maternity trousers off for the monitoring belt and I felt very weird in T-shirt and pants as that was obviously ‘wrong’ - obviously not ‘dressed enough.’ I felt much more comfortable once I took my pants off to start pushing as it was ‘right’ in the circumstances to not be wearing underwear and I was ‘dressed enough’ for the job at hand again.

I wonder if it would help you to think about what would feel ‘dressed enough’ in different circumstances and have some options ready. Maybe also talk to your birth partner and/or your midwife about how they can help you dress if you’re struggling?

I hope everything goes really well for you when the time comes.

I was planning to wear a loose t-shirt for labour but I got so sweaty and also irritated by my bra straps I took them all off. I mumbled some comment about lack of dignity and the midwife (who was absolutely brilliant in every way) said there is nothing so dignified as a woman in labour, completely put me at ease. It was only her and my husband with me, and I figured she'd seem it all and far worse before.

To be honest you are so consumed by the task in hand, it's not the pain so much as focusing on breathing and getting the baby out, that you do kind of zone out to who ever else is in the room. Some people do labour in clothes, so you may well do... Just be prepared to do whatever feels right for you on the day

Hi op, I think you need to have a chat with your midwifery team about your worries.

When the time comes, you will do whatever feels right for you. Dignity is held within us, so if you're deep in labour and feel that being naked is how you're most comfortable you can still do so and remain dignified.

Being treated with dignity during labour, is a different thing and - I saw your previous post as well - to me this seems like it could be your underlying concern. Have a chat with your mw team about it and the things you're most worried about. You can discuss ways to manage different scenarios and how you may choose to consent to things you may not have planned for.

I think this will help allay your worries.

People are being honest in putting forward experiences that show you can plan but the unexpected may happen, but this doesn't mean you will forfeit all dignity.

Just think about what maintaining dignity will mean to you if you vomit/need to strip etc and discuss with your birthing partner and midwife. You'll feel much more confident and at ease once you've done so.

Try not to worry

I don't it's very helpful for OP for everyone to be saying "you'll be in so much pain you won't care!"

The experience of childbirth is so elemental it's not like anything else you have done. I was in an awful state when I had my first because I was so frightened but when I had the others I was more in control because I wasn't scared.

There is something "earthy" about giving birth. I thought I had stayed clothed all the way through my last labour but my husband pointed out that when the midwife said I should get ready to push I took my top off because I didn't want anything to get between me and the baby.

@IthinkIsawahairbrushbackthere

I don't it's very helpful for OP for everyone to be saying "you'll be in so much pain you won't care!"

The experience of childbirth is so elemental it's not like anything else you have done. I was in an awful state when I had my first because I was so frightened but when I had the others I was more in control because I wasn't scared.

There is something "earthy" about giving birth. I thought I had stayed clothed all the way through my last labour but my husband pointed out that when the midwife said I should get ready to push I took my top off because I didn't want anything to get between me and the baby.

Everyone hasn’t Some have said it but more people have reassured OP that she won’t have to do anything she’s uncomfortable with (subject to safety)

For my vbac I had a very fast labour, my leggings came off for the initial check when I arrived, then my waters broke and they weren't going back on just had a tshirt on top.

I think what people mean when they say you lose all dignity, is not that you turn into a mad woman and start stripping and walking around naked but just that your focus is on getting baby out and nothing else really matters in those moments.

For example I had to be moved from assessment to labour ward in a wheelchair and obviously was naked from waist down and couldn't care less if I was covered but midwife threw a sheet over me "for my dignity" then when in labour ward instead of holding sheet and getting up on bed I just dropped it to the floor and hopped up legs akimbo. At that point baby was coming so I needed to be naked from the waist down anyway, top half was covered.

Baby arrived in minutes and I was still naked from the waist down for about 2 hours as about 3 people wandered in and out asking questions, stitching, asking me to partake in trials etc all while my vagina was on show to the world. Did I care? No. I needed to be stitched, my daughter had arrived safely and the people that needed to be there cared even less than I did.

There is never an issue with you being covered by say a long nightdress etc if this is something that you really want. But when it comes to the business end of labour there is no getting away with being naked from the waist down.

I gave birth in a dress, was never full monty at all.

As for dignity, that was completely out of the window AFTER the labour.

Midwives turn up at my home? Here you go, check me for infections, or potentially clogged ducts please

I am the most reserved person ever and don't even like getting changed in front of close friends etc. However, all that went out the window during childbirth!! I wore a knee length night shirt both times (there was never any reason for me to be naked and that thought never entered my head). However I did spend many hours with my legs wide open with people coming in and out of the room. You really just don't care who sees what. You might think that's undignified. Is it really? It's just a natural very messy process and it's up to you if you choose to view it in terms of dignity. I never thought about dignity - only coping with the pain and getting the baby out

@WingBingo

In my experience, I really didn’t care.

It’s not that I lost my dignity, the threshold is different.

You don’t have to be naked if you don’t want to be though. It’s up to you.

Literally this.

I admit, I was very prudish before giving birth. Never had a male doctor look at me down there, etc. By the end of my experience I really didn't care anymore.

I've done it twice, never been naked, t shirt dress both times, changed into a gown to go to theatre the second time but at no point did I get naked, want to be naked, nor did anyone suggest being naked. Didn't care who was looking at my bits during active labour though, didn't really think about it. Just do what your body tells you to do, nothing is weird or abnormal, just keep yourself as comfortable as you can. Good luck, you'll be fine 🙂

I gave birth in a hospital gown so definitely wasn’t naked - and I was conscious about things - like worrying about pooing! Which I don’t think happened either time! I think you are still aware of what’s going on but of course just want the baby out ☺️

I definitely would have cared if I was naked in labour, but I had both my children in my workplace so probably a bit different.
My dignity was preserved throughout, I don’t remember feeling compromised at all despite needing medical intervention for both. You will be fine!

I went into labour and had no birth plan in place yet. I wore a nighty but it got whipped off when I said I wanted to do immediate skin to skin as baby was going to NICU. I still had a bit of the cover over me but by the point of pushing you really won't give a shit (or maybe you will 🤣 sorry it happens)

People saying 'why would be naked' sod them. Do what you want. Its your birthing experience. The midwives see it all the time and as long as mum comfy go for it. Also your not the cleanest after it makes it easier going for shower.

I'm surprised by people who wanted to tear their clothing off, I certainly didn't. Obviously I had nothing on the bottom half but even that was covered by a sheet most of the time. In the early stages it was relatively calm, I was even reading between contractions, and by the time things got more serious I was concentrating more on just getting through it and it never occurred to me to do anything with my clothes.

Your body takes over and you do what you need to do be that going silent, sounding like a cow, stripping off, covering up, lying in your back or standing up.
I really wouldn’t worry about this ahead of time because you cannot know how your body will react, even the same women will have different experiences with subsequent pregnancies.

What you wear depends how hot you are and what is comfy…most maternity units are baking hot so I’d advise not much. The thing is, you need your downstairs area out for obvious reasons, and bras can be uncomfortable and hot. And as soon as LO is out, your boobs need to be out to feed them. So it’s no wonder there’s lots of nudity!
Also, for the most part you don’t have anyone apart from your birth partner there.

I was lucky enough to have the water birth that I’d ideally wanted. I had packed cute bikini tops in my hospital bag. It literally never occurred to me to wear anything in the water - I spent a lot of time in there complaining I was too hot and begging the midwives to stop adding warm water (they want it to be warm for the baby).

I definitely feel like my dignity was preserved, but then I feel like I won the jackpot with my amazing midwives!