Dignity during labour

[Ashchall95]

Hi everyone FTM here....

Due in the next 4 weeks,

I did a post a few days ago about not wanting to be naked during labour etc and everyone was saying how you don't need to be but also so many people saying that you loose all dignity and won't know anyway is that because the pain is so unbearable you forget where you are and you don't even realise what's going on? Or isit just through choice in the moment that you start stripping off and your fully aware of what your doing? I hope it makes sense but just trying to get an understanding of how bad it's going to be, I can't ever imagine me being in a position that I would be that out of control that I would be willing to strip naked in a situation like that, I'm definitely over thinking things as the times getting closer but would like to hear your opinions l, please be kind 😬

It's not that you lose your dignity, it's just that giving birth is a very powerful, primal thing and you react in ways that you never though possible cause your body just tells you!

There's a lot about labour that you just have to try and not feel embarrassed about, everyone will try their best to help you feel ok about things. For instance, I ended up needing a bed bath and was washed in all sorts of intimate places by a healthcare assistant after birth. I've never had someone else clean me since I was a child, so that was weird. But I never once felt undignified, I actually felt like superwoman after I'd given birth!

Hospitals are very warm.

Also things don't always go to plan. My DC started coming when I was in the shower and everyone still thought I had hours to go so I pressed the alarm button and there wasn't really time to grab a shirt before everything started happening. There were some complications, so senior midwifes and the doctor had to be called so it did feel like the world and his dog were trooping through at one point. I was in so much pain I didn't care - everyone's focus was on getting the baby out safely, not what I was or wasn't wearing.

What I would say is remember to take thermal slipper socks and plenty of layers for after you've given birth. I don't know whether it was the shock but I was very cold and shivery after DC arrived despite it being tropical temperatures on the ward. I would have killed for one of those wearable blankets rather than a thin hospital gown.

Giving birth is an experience that is totally alien really to anything you have done before. None of us would really want to spread our legs wide and have various people look, not many of us would want others to see us in pain and crying and moaning. However the staff have done it hundreds of time and seen it all. Like others said your body and brain take over and you do what feels right at the time. I was not naked at any point. I did go into the water with just a bra on. Embrace what your amazing body is about to do and wear what feels right for you.

Well OP if you weren’t nervous before you certainly will be after reading these posts.
Good luck. 😉😁

Why do you think it would be undignified to be naked? I was naked and in a birthing pool, could have worn something but didnt feel the need. I don't equate that to losing my dignity I was in control of myself the whole time, no screaming etc or barely any noise at all. These are medical professionals who will be the only witnesses! I don't consider my dignity lost.

As my midwife explained it, you may drop your dignity when you enter the Labour Ward, but don't forget to pick it up again on the way out!

I was like you when I was pregnant with my first. My labour was going to be a very dignified affair, modesty covered then I would be all glowing with a gurgling newborn in my arms with my DH looking on adoringly.
The reality was, I tore my nightie off when I was beetroot faced, drowning in sweat and wailing like a banshee, I shit myself and the midwife cleaned my arse, my baby looked like an angry troll doll, I looked possessed and my DH looked both horrified and stunned. 😂
The scenario was repeated the second time round but with the added bonus of punching the doctor ( very sorry ) and snarling at my DH that I was going to rip his bollocks off. Thirty years later he still sleeps with a protective hand over them 🤣

@Riapia I know, there are a lot of stories here that might be the OPs worst case scenario!

For balance, I wore a nightie both times and felt quite covered up. However the midwives were wonderful and my partner was comforting, so had I needed to remove a layer it would have been fine and I would have felt safe. Please to your birthing partner about your concern so that if you express any discomfort on the day, they understands
your worries and can reassure you.

Sorry, that last sentence didn’t make sense at all - meant to say, just explain your concerns to your partner so that they can reassure on the day if you need it (and you probably won’t!)

I think the difference is more that when you have a baby and all the examinations leading up to it you realise that dignity isn’t connected to whether you are dressed or not. I had a section, so didn’t have a choice, but otherwise you will be able to choose.

It’s feral.
I also worried about it but the reason you see so many women stripping is because your whole entire being; body and mind are engulfed in the moment. It’s just you and your body.

I was quitting down in the corridor naked.. with them following me with a puppy pad 🙊.

Nobody cared.
Others were the same. I seen and heard it.

I honestly can't remember if I was naked or not during my sons birth. Not a clue. I remember being in the hospital bath when I started needing to push and they took me up to labour ward-from that point on I couldn't tell you if I was wearing a nightie/gown or was totally naked. At that point in time I don't think I cared in the slightest (and I'm normally pretty prudish). They will have seen it all before and they honestly won't care!

I didn't get naked during Labour myself, I wore a nightshirt with buttons on and took my underwear off so it was easier access for checks etc. I probably had my legs open during contractions so was definitely on display but never felt the need to get naked. It may have been difficult if I got further along but I laboured for 6 hours and didn't dilate past 2cm so ended in emergency section (other reasons contributed).

Labour is very intense so I'd be prepared to just go with the flow and do what ever it is you need to do to get through those contractions and deliver your baby safely 😊

Hi OP, like you I was very aware that I hated the thought of being naked and losing control - I wore a shirt belonging to DH - at no point in my 12 hour labour did I feel any urge to strip off - it did not feel in any way primal - it was hard work and painful at times but you cope and pain killers are available - don’t worry, you don’t suddenly lose all sense of yourself.

If you have a natural birth, you might if you get hot. Regardless people will see your bits when they examine you- and you won't care in the moment.

Birth is pretty messy and that, you're not going to be able to do it with your clothes on or without anyone seeing body parts.

It think when women say naked they mean naked from the waste down. Not boobs hanging out naked.
I'd also think women would wear a long tunic top or nightshirt if they planned a 'dry' birth. Keep a bit of dignity

DC1 was a waterbirth I had a tankini top on but a vest top would have done.
DC2 an induction that went a bit too well, my pjs well my bottoms were round my ankles!!!

Gawd only knows how many people looked at my bush while they were trying to stop me from bleeding. But I really couldn't have cared less.

No one will force you to strip off if you don't want to (unless necessary for medical reasons, but v unlikely!).
I ended up in just my bra, but you can wear a top, nightshirt etc if you want.
Please don't get so hung up on 'losing your dignity.' It's more that you are so focused on giving birth that in the moment you're not really bothered about anything else.
Remember, all the people are there to help you and are focussing on the birth. They probably won't be aware of what you are or aren't wearing, they see so many women on each shift.
Whatever happens, it one of the most dignified things - you're bringing a human being into the world and that is amazing!

You are focusing on an issue that bothers you now. At the moment of childbirth, you’ll be in a completely different zone and won’t give a shit. It will be the least important thing going on for you. And it might be good prep for motherhood to be less precious about your dignity - frankly, it’s not going to be about ‘you’ much longer!

You are overthinking it massively!! I had in my birth plan I wanted a sheet over my legs as I am not good with blood and didn’t want to see what was going on. I asked for the lights to be dimmed too which they did, only put them up bright for baby being born. My husband was under strict instructions to stay at my head he wasn’t allowed to look down there (he didn’t want to anyway). I wore a nightie with buttons down the front so I was covered but could still do skin to skin. Please don’t worry you will be absolutely fine!

And remember the midwives have seen it all a million times before!!

Its fine you'll be fine what ever happens at the time you don't care, afterwards you still don't care because you are knackered and have your new baby. I didn't worry about being naked before giving birth, i was however super worried about crapping on the bed while labouring, turns out when it happened i didn't care!

Honestly try not to worry yourself. Every birth is different and you can't predict what your experience will be. You more than likely won't even notice what you are or aren't wearing when the time comes. All your focus just goes into getting through the birth any way you can.

I've had 3 and never got naked. I wore a nighty and had it pulled up for the pushing bit.

I had the midwife constantly trying to make me wear clothing for my 'dignify'.
She was trying to make me wear some Knickers with a little pad in when my waters were gushing! I was like....what on earth is this going to do?
When I'm in pain I don't like things touching me so I kind of knew I would want to be 'free' during labour! I still wore a nightdress during most of it.
I'm a nurse so I'm not that bothered about bodies etc and not self conscious is medical settings. The midwife was conscious of my dignity. I couldn't give a hoot at the time!

@AllTheUsernamesAreAlreadyTaken

I gave birth on my kitchen floor, stripped down with my mother in law standing in the corner staring. I didn’t care at the time because I was totally focused on my labour. Afterwards, and still now, I’m absolutely furious she didn’t allow me my dignity and leave the room despite my husband asking her to leave us alone multiple times. I don’t think I’ll ever forgive her. Oh my blood is boiling again thinking about it! Haha

I feel annoyed on your behalf. That’s so intrusive.