Page 11 | Dignity during labour

Ashchall95 · 2022-01-27T12:28:57+00:00

Hi everyone FTM here.... Due in the next 4 weeks, I did a post a few days ago about not wanting to be naked during labour etc and everyone was saying how you don't need to be but also so many people saying that you loose all dignity and won't know anyway is that because the pain is so unbearable you forget where you are and you don't even realise what's going on? Or isit just through choice in the moment that you start stripping off and your fully aware of what your doing? I hope it makes sense but just trying to get an understanding of how bad it's going to be, I can't ever imagine me being in a position that I would be that out of control that I would be willing to strip naked in a situation like that, I'm definitely over thinking things as the times getting closer but would like to hear your opinions l, please be kind 😬

Embracelife · 27/01/2022 18:35

[quote KevinTheKoala]@Embracelife no of course not, but in an ideal world we all want our babies to be born healthy and the goal in most peoples mind during labour is to finally meet their baby.[/quote]
So long as you have a baby
So long as you get to meet your baby

All babies welcome

Forricks · 27/01/2022 18:40

I thought it was because the wards are so warm not 'ouch that hurts I need to take my top off'

Definitely suggest hand held fans and light weight clothing, I had dh fan me with a magazine whilst I chilled like cleopatra

I had a paper blanket over my lower half the entire time and it was fine.

I don't think there is a ladylike way to give birth though if that's what you mean..

trumpisagit · 27/01/2022 18:44

I would never even bathe topless on a beach where everyone else is doing it, but I took my hospital gown off in labour with DS1. I was hot and I just wanted it off. I didn't care what anyone else thought.
I was living in the moment and only focused on giving birth. I couldn't tell you how many people were in the room because I really didn't care.

PiesNotGuys · 27/01/2022 18:47

“Everyone” does not see “everything”. Who is “everyone”? The only people who should be there are the people you invite to be there.

No one has to see anything you aren’t comfortable with them seeing.

No one has to be touched, prodded or poked in ways they have not consented to.

It’s 100% up to you, at all times and anything else is assault.

To the PP with a midwife inviting a partner to look at their genitals, that is IN NO WAY acceptable.

I fully understand emergencies can occur but that is even more reason to have well established trust and boundaries with the person or people you choose to be in the environment in which you choose to give birth.

Giving birth is the most “ladylike” thing you can do surely. Or should that be womanly?

Georgeskitchen · 27/01/2022 18:58

Don't worry about dignity,delivery suites are not public spaces!! It will be you, the midwife and your hubby/birthing partner!! I stripped off each time because I was so darned hot. Really......you won't care x

nellly · 27/01/2022 19:16

I thought I would remain clothed at least the top half and would shout a lot and scream, as it happened I was almost silent with the odd moan and grunt but wanted my clothes off half way through, it felt like they were burning my skin. I insisted the midwife cut off my sports bra and t shirt because I couldn't take them off (hooked up to drip and monitor etc)

passmethedettol · 27/01/2022 19:30

Oh OP, I totally get your concerns! Threads like this terrified me before giving birth due to posters saying you wont care by that point, you will go primal and strip! If you are still reading, for what it is worth, none of this happened to me. If anything I had my own 'primal urge' to keep covered, even in the throes of labour. Ask your birth partner to help keep you covered. Also, let the midwives know how you are feeling and that you want to remain as covered up as possible. I had a lovely student midwife who kept reassuring me I was still covered up throughout! I had a baggy t shirt and a light hospital sheet over me. You do not need to be stark naked if you do not want to be. Try not to worry - you will be fine OP!

grey12 · 27/01/2022 19:47

@PiesNotGuys

“Everyone” does not see “everything”. Who is “everyone”? The only people who should be there are the people you invite to be there.

No one has to see anything you aren’t comfortable with them seeing.

No one has to be touched, prodded or poked in ways they have not consented to.

It’s 100% up to you, at all times and anything else is assault.

To the PP with a midwife inviting a partner to look at their genitals, that is IN NO WAY acceptable.

I fully understand emergencies can occur but that is even more reason to have well established trust and boundaries with the person or people you choose to be in the environment in which you choose to give birth.

Giving birth is the most “ladylike” thing you can do surely. Or should that be womanly?

Not entirely true.........

If you go to an hospital there is a very good chance a doctor/midwife/nurse may see you undressed. If you don't want that at all stay at home.

It is NOT standard that people are completely naked during labour and hospital staff will keep your modesty as much as possible.

But you can't deny that labour is a very challenging time and at times people may feel uncomfortable with clothes. I did. Throwing up repeatedly, in pain, forced to lay on the bed by the epidural and monitoring, I felt sooo uncomfortable that I didn't know what I was feeling anymore, and the clothes just felt like something extra to p*ss me off. My other labours were fine and I was well covered

ravenmum · 27/01/2022 20:37

Were those of you who felt so hot giving birth in the summer?

When I had a Caesarean, I didn't have my glasses on but there seemed to be loads of people in the room.

Glenthebattleostrich · 27/01/2022 21:21

@ravenmum

Were those of you who felt so hot giving birth in the summer?

When I had a Caesarean, I didn't have my glasses on but there seemed to be loads of people in the room.

It was a very hot May! And the heating was on full with no windows!

Indecisive29 · 27/01/2022 21:33

@ravenmum

Were those of you who felt so hot giving birth in the summer?

When I had a Caesarean, I didn't have my glasses on but there seemed to be loads of people in the room.

@ravenmum - I gave birth in November in the middle of the night and was convinced I was about to burst into flames 🤣 I’ve never felt so warm in my life! I asked the midwives to open all the windows, it was blowing a gale and the blinds were getting blown about terribly but I just needed air 🤣 poor midwives all had been and put fleeces on by the time I came to deliver my DS 🤣 I nearly lunged at the midwife that went to close the windows and she had to remind me that I was about to deliver my child into a room that felt like the Arctic to anyone not in labour 🤣🤣

FTEngineerM · 27/01/2022 22:11

It’s got nothing to do with outside temperatures @ravenmum

I’ll give you an overview of the mindset;
‘Get the fuck off me’
‘Don’t touch me’
‘What are these cables’
‘Why is the gas and air tube so short’
‘Why is it dragging on my leg I can’t concentrate’

It’s nothing to do with anything other than being ‘in the zone’.

RalphLaurenG · 27/01/2022 22:12

@Malteser71

Why on Earth do you think you’ll be naked?

It's seriously going to hurt so much you literally won't care whether you have clothes on or not.

LilFoxes · 27/01/2022 22:24

OP, if it's really important to you pop your desire to remain covered in your birth plan in big bold letters. Reiterate to husband that it's important to you that you are decent.
My midwife skipped off and read mine, was all taken very seriously, to the letter and I didn't have to think about anything whilst I was in the throes!
They must see sightly odd requests all the time. One concern was DH trialling his latest 'funny' accent and the instruction was to escort him out of the room.
Now relax and enjoy the last weeks!

BitcherOfBlakiven · 27/01/2022 23:20

I echo the notes suggestion - mine had something written on about how fast my labours are and also DO NOT TOUCH HER written on. They did as they were told

ExDP tried to rub my back whilst I was in labour with DD1 and I apparently growled at him (I of course have no memory of this) so ferociously that he jumped back and fell over a chair

There’s just so much sensation all over the body when in labour (for me) that anything extra is just bloody unbearable.

ravenmum · 28/01/2022 07:09

@FTEngineerM I have some idea of the mindset, thanks. But I gave birth to both my children in December, and did not at any point feel hot, which is what I was asking about. I was wondering if it's just me not tending to feel too hot, or if it's because those complaining about the heat were giving birth in warmer weather.

ravenmum · 28/01/2022 07:11

@Indecisive29 Clearly just me

Indecisive29 · 28/01/2022 08:04

[quote ravenmum]@Indecisive29 Clearly just me [/quote]
@ravenmum I was pretty shocked by it actually. I’m always cold 🤣 I’ve been known to complain about the daytime breeze in Majorca being cold when we’re there in July/august 🤣
I’d honestly go as far as to say that feeling so hot was one of the most uncomfortable parts of labour for me 🙈 I just absolutely hated feeling so warm and it wasn’t something that I was expecting. I went in for my induction prepared (as much as anyone can be as a FTM 😅) for the pain but nobody mentioned heat 🤣

fruitbrewhaha · 28/01/2022 09:24

I think every woman is dignified while giving birth!

What does dignity mean to you? For me it's self respect, worthy of honour.

I didn't lose my dignity while I was in labour or giving birth. I was working really hard. I was naked but not without my self respect. I wasn't composed, but that would be very difficult and there is no need to be composed. I wasn't instagramable. I wouldn't want everyone to see me. But I was happy for those that did because they were helping me and I needed their expertise.

I don't understand the shame you are imposing on your naked body and the magical thing it's doing. Hold your head high OP. There's no loss of dignity in loosing control while given birth.

LaBellina · 28/01/2022 09:28

I wore a hospital gown and remember that the midwife emptied my bladder (epidural) after my DH had left the room and it was just me and her, probably because she wanted to preserve my dignity. She was incredibly kind, gentle and respectful.

EdgeOfACoin · 28/01/2022 11:50

OP, everyone has a different experience.

At no point was I naked when giving birth - I wore the dress I arrived in (was a pretty quick labour). The dress wasn't ruined either - a bit of Vanish and a run through the washing machine later and it was fine.

I didn't find the pain unbearable or even the worst pain I'd ever experienced. I had breaks between contractions and I found that transition felt more like pressure than pain.

I had a female midwife, a female student midwife (I gave my consent for her to be there) and a female obstetrician.

I didn't swear, I didn't lose control over my actions and I didn't feel unbearably hot. It was fine.

I appreciate that mine was an incredibly straightforward birth (albeit one with an episiotomy) but I thought it might balance out some of the other stories on here.

Original poster

Ashchall95 · 28/01/2022 12:22

@EdgeOfACoin

OP, everyone has a different experience.

At no point was I naked when giving birth - I wore the dress I arrived in (was a pretty quick labour). The dress wasn't ruined either - a bit of Vanish and a run through the washing machine later and it was fine.

I didn't find the pain unbearable or even the worst pain I'd ever experienced. I had breaks between contractions and I found that transition felt more like pressure than pain.

I had a female midwife, a female student midwife (I gave my consent for her to be there) and a female obstetrician.

I didn't swear, I didn't lose control over my actions and I didn't feel unbearably hot. It was fine.

I appreciate that mine was an incredibly straightforward birth (albeit one with an episiotomy) but I thought it might balance out some of the other stories on here.

Thankyou so much!! I know everyone is so different but just to hear a positive story makes me feel so more relieved and better!! 💗

OP posts:

menr · 28/01/2022 12:27

I didn't get naked .....

I was in my pjs until they took me into the Labour room; they asked me to take off my pj bottoms and knickers; I was on the bed with a sheet covering my bottom half and had my pj top on still .... that's how I've delivered both my children

scaredsadandstuck · 28/01/2022 12:37

I don't think there have been lots of horror stories on here. Just honest accounts of giving birth. It seems odd to try to 'protect' the OP from that. Knowledge is power and all that! And what most people have said to OP is, even if she does strip off, likelihood is, she won't care. That's surely a good thing?

I hope you have a really positive birth experience @Ashchall95

LuckyAmy1986 · 28/01/2022 12:52

I think every woman is dignified while giving birth

What does dignity mean to you? For me it's self respect, worthy of honour

I didn't lose my dignity while I was in labour or giving birth. I was working really hard. I was naked but not without my self respect. I wasn't composed, but that would be very difficult and there is no need to be composed. I wasn't instagramable. I wouldn't want everyone to see me. But I was happy for those that did because they were helping me and I needed their expertise

I don't understand the shame you are imposing on your naked body and the magical thing it's doing. Hold your head high OP. There's no loss of dignity in loosing control while given birth

lovely post @fruitbrewhaha