Unable to see my baby in NICU due to covid restrictions

[francesca26]

I feel so alone I needed to post this to see if anyone else has been or is in a similar situation.

I have been in hospital since 30/12 for a scheduled induction. The process didn't start until 31/12 due to how busy they were and I was on a ward with several other women. One of these women tested positive for covid on 31/12 just as my contractions started and I was informed that I had been 'exposed'. I didn't think too much of it at this point and was just focusing on birthing my baby.

At 17.57pm on 01/01/22 my son was born at 38+4 . He had breathing difficulties and was 'grunty' so was taken straight to NICU, I had a brief cuddle but hardly any skin to skin.

The NICU doctor then informed me that because I had been 'exposed' that I would not be able to visit my son in NICU at all, even though I was testing negative. 💔

It has now been over 24hrs since I gave birth and I have had no contact with my baby. I have been put in a segregated room on the post natal ward. I'm not allowed to leave and can't have any visitors.

My heart is honestly breaking. I also have a 2 year old at home who I haven't seen for 4 days now.

Baby is improving and although he is still on oxygen, the levels are much better than they were. However I've not got any time frame on when they think he will be able to be moved up to post natal and be with me.

I feel like this is really affecting my mental health. I know my baby is in the best place but I am being treated like I have covid, even though I am negative and double jabbed.

I just don't know what to do with myself. I'm stuck in this room, without either of my children and I can't leave unless I discharge myself which they have advised me not to do incase baby is able to move up at some point.

😢💔

Ok, fine. I always do end up giving in to doctors in the end 🤷‍♀️

I’m so sorry, how incredibly difficult for you. Personally I would absolutely not want to risk seeing my baby in this scenario having seen how covid has spread through my DD’s student house and to several other friends. DD was having trouble breathing at one point , one of her friends who was positive on 18th Dec is having episodes of their heart racing plus DD’s boyfriend arrived here yesterday after being recently out of isolation and had to lie down as felt rough after travelling. These are all healthy people in their early 20s.

A big part of being a Mother is doing what is best for your baby , however difficult and I think I would be doing my best to try and frame it as protecting my baby and that though incredibly tough this time will pass. So sorry that you are going through this 💐

@Neurodiversitydoctor

This was all discussed much higher up on the thread at length. I maintain the advice was unhelpful and possibly counterproductive.

I’ve RTFT and those confusing the entitlement that many pps have with a mother’s entitlement to be with her baby are either obtuse or doing it deliberately just to disagree with everything you have written, which has been informative and empathic.

Oh God this is awful. You poor, poor thing. I know it seems unfair and over the top but some of the babies in the NICU are so, so, so tiny and poorly that they can't take the risk.

I was in a similar (but not identical because there wasn't covid) and I was beside myself for a week. Honestly now, 6 months on, everyone is fine and happy. It will get better.

OP are you here this am ? How was yesterday how is LO ? I hope as the first working day they have some answers for you. I am here on leave with a grumpy 15yo as Skiing in France was cancelled, happy to give you any advice about the procedures if helpful.

Grumpy 15yo is still in bed obvs, no school till Monday.

@falalalalalalablahblah

Needing - not wanting - to see your baby, straight after birth, is not entitlement, in any way, shape or form. It is recommended, normal, natural and right.

It's not recommended or right when seeing the baby is liable to put that baby, other very sick babies and the people who care for them in danger.

@falalalalalalablahblah

Needing - not wanting - to see your baby, straight after birth, is not entitlement, in any way, shape or form. It is recommended, normal, natural and right.

Oh give it a rest. You’ve spent too much time on this thread trying to argue against Neurodiversitydoctor, and all you’ve managed to do is make sure your own posts lose any credibility.

@falalalalalalablahblah

Needing - not wanting - to see your baby, straight after birth, is not entitlement, in any way, shape or form. It is recommended, normal, natural and right.

You need to step away from this thread....you’re making a tit of yourself. Have you no self respect? But I expect you’ll come back like a boomerang with more shite🙄

@Neurodiversitydoctor

OP received advice to "kick up a fuss" , "make a stink" , "phone PALS repeatedly" and then eventually to "sue the trust" and "write to her MP" none of which would help her see her baby. The comment about entitlement was sparked by posters telling OP that the trust "Didn't have the right" to tell her she couldn't move freely from a "red" Covid zone to a "green " zone, regardless of who she might infect. That is entitlement and as I said not directed at OP at all.

Well I just went off your comment, which was:

The entitlement on this thread is mindblowing(go to PALS, make a formal complaint)-

From this I deduced that you were implying going to PALS to complain about something a patient feel is wrong equals entitlement, as to me, that's how this sentence is worded.

If that's not what you meant, then it's all good. That just wasn't clear.

@francesca26

How are you? Have you managed to get the all clear to be with your DS?

Hey everyone,

For those that have asked how he is doing thank you, we are finally home after our week of hell and settling into life at home with his dad and little sister. There are a lot of other things that happened during our stay but honestly I don't have the mental energy to talk about it.

The way I was treated as a mother I feel is appalling and as others have said, 2 years into this pandemic, we should be doing better for mums and their babies.

I completely agree it is not safe for 'exposed' people to be in NICU around very vulnerable babies but I also think it's wrong to keep a new mum in an isolated room for 5 days, unable to leave for even fresh air or see a visitor. You can only imagine what that did to my mental health. (I was negative the entire time BTW)

Anyway, I appreciate all the comments and messages of support. It is certainly a week we will never forget.

Xx

That’s good news op, really pleased you are home together and your little one is well x

@francesca26 so glad you are home now, OP. I read your post at the time and thought a lot about you. I can only imagine how hard it was and totally agree we should be doing better for new mums and babies 2 years into this. My second baby is due in the next few weeks and it's pretty nerve wracking to be going to hospital with Covid and the response the way it is.

Anyway, hope you are all doing well now, and that you will have the energy to make proper complaints about what happened when you feel ready x

Really pleased that you are both home op, and I hope that you continue to bond and heal and move past the traumatic start to your baby's life! If you do feel like you need help for the mental effects of this then I would urge you to seek help sooner rather than later

Pleased you are home. Nicu time is hellish, even pre-pandemic.

What fabulous news! Congratulations again and enjoy your snuggles and family time