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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Original poster

Unable to see my baby in NICU due to covid restrictions

317 replies

francesca26 · 03/01/2022 06:11

I feel so alone I needed to post this to see if anyone else has been or is in a similar situation.

I have been in hospital since 30/12 for a scheduled induction. The process didn't start until 31/12 due to how busy they were and I was on a ward with several other women. One of these women tested positive for covid on 31/12 just as my contractions started and I was informed that I had been 'exposed'. I didn't think too much of it at this point and was just focusing on birthing my baby.

At 17.57pm on 01/01/22 my son was born at 38+4 . He had breathing difficulties and was 'grunty' so was taken straight to NICU, I had a brief cuddle but hardly any skin to skin.

The NICU doctor then informed me that because I had been 'exposed' that I would not be able to visit my son in NICU at all, even though I was testing negative. 💔

It has now been over 24hrs since I gave birth and I have had no contact with my baby. I have been put in a segregated room on the post natal ward. I'm not allowed to leave and can't have any visitors.

My heart is honestly breaking. I also have a 2 year old at home who I haven't seen for 4 days now.

Baby is improving and although he is still on oxygen, the levels are much better than they were. However I've not got any time frame on when they think he will be able to be moved up to post natal and be with me.

I feel like this is really affecting my mental health. I know my baby is in the best place but I am being treated like I have covid, even though I am negative and double jabbed.

I just don't know what to do with myself. I'm stuck in this room, without either of my children and I can't leave unless I discharge myself which they have advised me not to do incase baby is able to move up at some point.

😢💔

OP posts:
HNY2022 · 03/01/2022 10:09

@whereissit

I'm so sorry op, must be heartbreaking not to be with your baby. I follow someone on Instagram who tested positive (they admitted they mucked up testing- I think continuing to test her beyond day 10 so she was obviously still showing positive) and then her daughter went into nicu. She met her daughter for the first time in a car park after the hospital discharged her to a family member or friend. Her story was published if you Google it I'm sure you'll find it.

I think she recommends speaking to PALS. Also if her daughter had been positive for covid she would of been segregated which suggests there was room for her to be with her daughter.

How close was your contact? Are we talking same ward and no face to face interaction with this positive case?

If baby is separated, then baby would likely be in a covid area, so moving a covid negative baby to a covid positive area is risky.

OP could currently be testing negative but still have covid in her body, and she then risks passing that to her already unwell baby.

PomegranateQueen · 03/01/2022 10:09

@BoredZelda

Why should other Mums be kept in the dark about this? Obviously we dont know where the OP lives but many women have a choice of hospitals. If I read about OP's situation as an expectant mum then I would be enquiring about the other hospitals' policies, or planning a home birth. Women should have a right to know about the policies that affect them and their babies.

Hoolahoophop · 03/01/2022 10:10

Ok have so much sympathy for you op. My second child was in NICU for 6 weeks from birth. In that time I was separated from my oldest except occasional visits as the hospital we were in was in a different area to our home. A lot of babies in NICU are very unwell. When parents visit they cannot always hold their children, just watch them through the box and hold a hand. There were several periods we couldn't see our baby for the safety of other children on the ward and times other parents couldn't see their babies for the protection of ours. There were usually 4 babies in a NICU bay sharing nurses. It's really, really hard and I understand your feelings. To help me I spent the time I couldn't be with my baby expressing milk to feed, making clothes, looking at pictures, talking to my eldest (also 2) on the phone and making pictures to send home. Anything to feel connected to them both and like I was still doing things to help and be their mother. Hopefully you will be together soon and your baby will stabelise and be able to move to a high dependency unit where you can have better access to them for cuddles. Try to eat well and focus in this time on getting strong after the birth so that you can be ready when your able to o be with baby. All the best.

danni0509 · 03/01/2022 10:10

@francesca26 this is so sad. I'm sorry 😢

Flowers500 · 03/01/2022 10:10

I honestly can’t believe some of you. Attacking doctors for trying to explain why infection control is important, screeching that not having visits is worse for babies in intensive care than exposing them to illnesses?! You cannot risk exposing dozens of potentially premature babies to Covid!! That’s not exactly rocket science! And you think you should be able to sue a hospital for keeping the babies safe, but it’s fine to traipse in people who are an infection risk?

I have huge sympathy for OP’s situation and hopefully something can be sorted in the next few days. But some of you ought to take a look at yourselves.

HNY2022 · 03/01/2022 10:11

@Neurodiversitydoctor

And thank you for your posts, which have been rational, clear and full of empathy. It’s a shame you got such abuse and criticism from those who like to think they know best.

bringmelaughter · 03/01/2022 10:11

@Snowwhite83

It is not true that nhs staff cannot work if close contact. See guidance updared 31/12/21 Updated UK Health Security Agency guidance on NHS staff, student and volunteer self-isolation and return to work following COVID-19 contact which states fully vaccinated staff can return to work given they have a negative pcr and are fully vaccinated and thry do an lft daily. I would kick up a stink OP.
Not if they’re working with clinically extremely vulnerable populations. Then they must be redeployed or work from home.
Neurodiversitydoctor · 03/01/2022 10:11

If I read about OP's situation as an expectant mum then I would be enquiring about the other hospitals' policies, or planning a home birth
Given the OP had an induction and the baby is in NICU I am not sure advocating home birth is particularly useful.

BoredZelda · 03/01/2022 10:12

Why should other Mums be kept in the dark about this? Obviously we dont know where the OP lives but many women have a choice of hospitals. If I read about OP's situation as an expectant mum then I would be enquiring about the other hospitals' policies, or planning a home birth. Women should have a right to know about the policies that affect them and their babies.

Any mother can read the visiting policy of any NNICU (but I expect they don't ever think to) and this will be a standard policy across NNICU units. Pretending it is a public interest issue is misleading.

inheritancetrack · 03/01/2022 10:14

If the baby, or other babies contracted covid and became seriously unwell, there may be no baby to attach to.

They are considering other peoples babies too. Would you be happy if a covid contact (who may be incubating the virus but testing negative) infected your baby?

Laiste · 03/01/2022 10:15

''... I was on a ward with several other women. One of these women tested positive for covid on 31/12 just as my contractions started and I was informed that I had been 'exposed'.''

So there was ''several'' other women exposed. Where are they all? Where are the 'exposed' mother and babies which aren't separated but maybe haven't gone home yet put? After two years this is really what is going on? Mothers testing neg not being able to hold their baby for 10 days?

LuchiMangsho · 03/01/2022 10:15

It’s been explained multiple times on this thread

  • baby has had a visit from the father
  • baby cannot be moved as the baby is on oxygen
  • infection control in NICUs outside of COVID is very very strict. Several people have said that when they had norovirus or a common cold they had to stay away.
  • NICUs have a high mortality rate at the best of times. These are some of the sickest patients in the hospital and the smallest.
  • Mum can’t just visit in the side room. She might need to take a lift. She will need the toilet. She might need to pump. It’s not that easy to isolate her.
But instead of saying this is shit, but it will be over soon, hang in there, let’s accuse the NHS of kidnapping babies and NICU doctors of being soulless. Honestly.
BoredZelda · 03/01/2022 10:15

What shit times we are living in where no one finds a way for a mother to be able to see her new born baby.

What shit times that one mother is being put above the health and safety of a ward full of the most vulnerable of babies in our hospitals.

BoredZelda · 03/01/2022 10:16

After two years this is really what is going on?

A good question.

inheritancetrack · 03/01/2022 10:17

@Laiste

''... I was on a ward with several other women. One of these women tested positive for covid on 31/12 just as my contractions started and I was informed that I had been 'exposed'.''

So there was ''several'' other women exposed. Where are they all? Where are the 'exposed' mother and babies which aren't separated but maybe haven't gone home yet put? After two years this is really what is going on? Mothers testing neg not being able to hold their baby for 10 days?

they will be in side rooms or home.
LuluBlakey1 · 03/01/2022 10:18

@LuchiMangsho

It’s not just HER baby’s exposure. It is also that of all the other babies. A side room is not a side room. OP will still need the NICU toilet. Need to wash hands in the communal area. Need to pump.

It’s heartbreaking but if I was there with my 900 gram baby on a ventilator and you told me you had allowed access to another potentially infectious parent whose baby would be there for a few days at most before going home (while there was no end for me in sight and no guarantee my baby would live), I would be angry.

This ^^.
teatime9999 · 03/01/2022 10:19

This is so shitty. I have no idea what to say except to send all my love your way.

Defaultuser · 03/01/2022 10:22

I really feel for you. If it provides some comfort I did not see my baby for a while after birth as I was too ill, then he was in NICU for 2 weeks and we had to leave him there at night. I was super worried about attachment but we have a wonderful bond now with no obvious issues. I fully believe it's possible to make up for the lack of early bonding.

mummyh2016 · 03/01/2022 10:25

@BoredZelda

Why should other Mums be kept in the dark about this? Obviously we dont know where the OP lives but many women have a choice of hospitals. If I read about OP's situation as an expectant mum then I would be enquiring about the other hospitals' policies, or planning a home birth. Women should have a right to know about the policies that affect them and their babies.

Any mother can read the visiting policy of any NNICU (but I expect they don't ever think to) and this will be a standard policy across NNICU units. Pretending it is a public interest issue is misleading.

It shouldn't be hidden away in some terms that aren't freely available. Like I say nearly 2 years on and there is no contingency plan, it's ridiculous.
WonderfulYou · 03/01/2022 10:26

So there was ''several'' other women exposed. Where are they all? Where are the 'exposed' mother and babies which aren't separated but maybe haven't gone home yet put? After two years this is really what is going on? Mothers testing neg not being able to hold their baby for 10 days?

They’ll still be on the normal maternity ward or more likely have gone home.

OPs baby is vulnerable so they need to go on the special ward until they are a bit stronger.

The baby won’t be able to go home until it’s stronger whether there was covid or not.

Being premature means their respiratory systems are often underdeveloped so any form of illness can be very dangerous for them.

I remember my friend not being able to see her baby for a couple of weeks as she had an illness and this was years before covid.

OP is negative now but with a baby’s life at risk it’s better to be on the safe side.

Cheeeeislifenow · 03/01/2022 10:26

So sorry you are in this situation op. The hospital staff and midwives are doing everything they can to keep you, your baby and all of the other tiny sick babies safe.

Some of these comments are just ludicrous.

HNY2022 · 03/01/2022 10:28

@LuchiMangsho

It’s been explained multiple times on this thread
  • baby has had a visit from the father
  • baby cannot be moved as the baby is on oxygen
  • infection control in NICUs outside of COVID is very very strict. Several people have said that when they had norovirus or a common cold they had to stay away.
  • NICUs have a high mortality rate at the best of times. These are some of the sickest patients in the hospital and the smallest.
  • Mum can’t just visit in the side room. She might need to take a lift. She will need the toilet. She might need to pump. It’s not that easy to isolate her.
But instead of saying this is shit, but it will be over soon, hang in there, let’s accuse the NHS of kidnapping babies and NICU doctors of being soulless. Honestly.
This.

I wish PPs were supportive to OP instead of providing unhelpful advice.

What is suing the NHS going to achieve? We don’t live in the US where you sue left right and centre. You need a cause of action and damages.

HNY2022 · 03/01/2022 10:30

It shouldn't be hidden away in some terms that aren't freely available

I had my baby during covid so I was worried about restrictions. I checked my hospital’s policies on all neonatal matters every few days for updates. I’m sure it’s there if someone actually looks for it.

mumda · 03/01/2022 10:31

Suing the NHS

blogs.bmj.com/bmj/2020/01/24/daniel-sokol-are-legal-fees-killing-the-nhs/

“NHS faces huge clinical negligence legal fees bill” was a headline this week. According to the BBC, the NHS receives 10 000 new claims for compensation every year. The total cost of outstanding compensation claims is estimated at £83 billion. In contrast, the total budget of NHS England in 2018-2019 was £129 billion.

blueberryporridge · 03/01/2022 10:32

I am so sorry to read this OP. and I understand how hard it is My DD was born premature (not in Covid times) and I wasn't able to see her for a day and a half after she was born. She then spent another 8 weeks in SCBU and we couldn't see her if we had bugs etc (which, because she was born in December happened a few times). Thus was to safeguard our DD but also all the other very vulnerable babies in the unit. Lots of other parents couldn't visit regularly because they lived too far away. With Covid, I can see how important it is for NICU to be super careful for the sake of all the babies they are caring for, including your LO. I imagine they may also be concerned about NICU staff having to self-isolate and causing staff shortages on the unit.

Please don't listen to the PPs who are saying that you will have problems bonding with your baby. This is a temporary situation and you will be able to make up for the bad start when it is safe for you to be with your baby again. You have said that his breathing is improving so it may not be long at all until he can be on the post-natal ward with you, and, hopefully be discharged home with you.

In the meantime, maybe you can express milk for him and try to get a good rest for when you get him back. That first cuddle will be magical.