Things they don't tell you about childbirth... but are in fact normal

[mumclaire]

Following on from the very enlightening thread about pregnancy I thought I'd start one about childbirth and see what happens!!

I'll start with a very tame one - nobody told me that you can have strong contractions for 48 hours and only be 2cm dialated - I was ready to hit the next person who said that I wasn't in 'real' labour!

Pistachio your mw should have taken it off you long before the baby was born. It's not much use after transition, I found.

Nobody tells you that after you have the baby and you are waking around tesco's you have the strangest pulling feeling like your womb is gong to drop on the floor, right in the freezer section

that you can be 6cm dilated without realising you are in labour...

That mooing/bellowing is a great way of ensuring you breathe out during a contraction, even if you do end up sounding like some kind of ox! Amazingly, this also managed to stop me from swearing - most unlike me!

that u might have to go through 12hours of the worse pain in the world only to have to have csection anyway

That you can actually enjoy the experience as the excitement takes over and whilst it still hurts, you don't care because you're about to meet your little one

oh yes ellabean, I had that uterus falling through my fanjo feeling for WEEKS afterwards - good incentive to do your pelvic floor though!

The obstetric physio saying to 'give 3 good pushes' with every contraction after transition - giving me the idea that I would have some control over it. I had about as much control over what my body was doing as you do when throwing up after you get drunk for the first time! Also the absolute horror of trying to poo and only managing half-way as the muscles were too swollen to give a final push and desperately not wanting to pull the cord for the midwives! Thankfully the bidet had a shower-type hose that you could pull out - and the warm water helped - eventually! Finally, a male GP saying that 'it only looks like a small external one to me' about my piles several weeks later!

That if you poo its not a nice firm easy to clear up one but stinky smelly runny diarhoea-and comes out accompanied by loud farts

How much you bleed afterwards

That you have to work during labour- I thought my body would just do it for me

Oh and that the head crowning can feel like you are being split up to your belly button (I actually had to hold onto my clitoris cos felt like it was being torn in half)

Clearly, from this thread, childbirth can come in a multitude of different ways and women have a variety of responses to it.

omg clairybee WINCE AND GRIMACE

The painkilling suppositories (sp?) they give you after a c-sec!! Now why the hell was I never told about that?? Sooo undignified

Teeniebf are you a breastfeeding teenager, or do you have a very small boyfriend?

That actually it can be a wonderful experience - at the time, not just when holding baby - and in many ways easier than a day at work (all over by 8am).
If we go into it positively and work with our bodies knowing what we have to do (not what the Doctors will do, intervene with)many of us would have much more positive experiences.
Ok bring on the hate mail but I truely beleive this and it worked for me with baby one.

not all birth's are complicated,require drugs or even a midwife, my dd arrived in front seat of car while dh ran into hospital for help!

I agree - I think one of the best things for me was realising about 12 hours in that my body seemed to know what to do and that made me relax (well a bit anyway!). The contractions felt like being sick/retching, but in the other direction obviously!

elisticwoman lol

The idea of 'active birth'. Once i got into hospital (2nd time that day) i only had about 5 seconds at most between contractions - leaving the bed was not an option. DH left the labour bag in the car(obviously) but actually didn't have time to think about anything in it!

Still great experience though!

That it can all happen sooner and quicker than expected, spent 4 hours thinking can't be in labour as not due for 3 weeks, (and only pain in back) called m/w, baby arrived within the hour ... big surprise ! feeling 'thats amazing, did that just happen?' had to keep checking baby really here

Getting placenta out hurts, had no jab, all the magic endorphins disapear the moment babe arrives, took an hour and didn't like that bit at all. Also took a bit long for 'repair' (under GA) and surgeon wouldn't tell me how many stiches I had, ( and I like to know a figure for everything !) Very impatient to get on and have proper look at ds

oh yes the stitching takes forever, doesn't it?

I found the MOST frustrating bit was after a good strong push feeling like this MUST be the one to get her out & then the feeling that she was slipping back up again. No-one warned me about that... 3 steps forward,2 back sensation.

Also the fishwife tendencies.

I remember the midwife coming to jab me with some Pethidine (yes I'd had enough ...drugs are lovely) They'd taken my name band off to put a drip in so she asked me my name & didn't bat an eyelid when I snarled .....

"MICKEY F*ING MOUSE"