Things they don't tell you about childbirth... but are in fact normal

[mumclaire]

Following on from the very enlightening thread about pregnancy I thought I'd start one about childbirth and see what happens!!

I'll start with a very tame one - nobody told me that you can have strong contractions for 48 hours and only be 2cm dialated - I was ready to hit the next person who said that I wasn't in 'real' labour!

That half way through you will offer your midwife anything to be allowed to go home - promising to come back tomorrow to finish off!!

That considering you are a nice polite person the language you can call an anaethetist when the epidural does not take properly and he turns back up "Is there a problem?" just as everything is really getting going. I wrote to apologise after. I was really awful to him.

Re the car seat... with both of mine, when my waters broke, the baby was there half an hour later. Just about enough time for a panicking husband to fit a car seat

My DP says that as soon as the spinal block took effect, I turned back into my real self, and started flirting madly with the anesthetist.

That when you start randomly shoving your dp away then dragging him back to lean on while still swearing at him you haven't got long to go!
LisaX

When the Dr was putting the clip on baby's head he clipped his glove to it too.

oh yes i got the sickness for about 2-3 days leading up to dd2's arrival - labour sickness vomiting and diarreah worse than i have ever had, but then I do tend to have very long drawn out pre-labour stage. on a nicer note after dd2's water birth I was high as a kite, I presume on endorphins (the gas and air didn't do that to me first time - nor did any natural stuff kick in after epidural/forceps with dd1) and was blissed out for days.

That you can be so drunk from the entonox that you think you're in Wetherspoons having a night out.

that the epidural can make the babys head coneshapped for the first few days

• that you can be in early labour for days and be sent home after a check up having been told that you were actually going backwards in terms of dilation!

- that it can be the most incredible experince, you can do it without any pain relief and you can feel like the most womanly woman for days afterwards

That natural childbirth hurts like fuck but gives you the biggest high that last for days. I remember finally pushing out dd1 after nearly 3 hours second stage when I'd thought i wanted to die rather than continue. Within seconds I felt that I could have got out of bed and climbed a mountain. Pure euphoria and a sense that I'd survived the hardest thing I'd ever have to do.

ebenezer I love your description.

Euphoric is always the word I used to describe that feeling.

Yes you can move mountains.

It doesn't matter how many other mothers are around, delivered on the same day, they haven't done what you've done!

that when you say you want push, but they say you can't, you will get annoyed, but as soon as they say you can push, suddenly you don't want to because it hurts so much

Ooh yes sparklygothkat - I SO remember that. Feeling too early that I wanted to push and not being allowed. the later being told to start pushing and feebly wailing @but I don't want to. it hurts!!!'

And the other thing I remember is that you go into a completely different 'zone' when you reach transition and second stage. You can't actually believe that life is carrying on as normal outside your room! I remember at one point giving birth to dd2, thinking about dd1 who was being looked after at home by granny. I honestly couldn't even belive I had another child - it was like she was a million miles away in another universe. The world outside my hospital room just didn't exist!!

Somehow, without doing any form of examiniation, the midwives at the hospital can tell you(falsely) that you are only in the initial stages of labour and your baby will be born in 24 hours time at least. Only to find that within 30 mins you have had them and have fed them and are wanting to go home without any of them admitting that they might have got it wrong.

on tuesday I wanted to push at 6cms I swore very loudly when the MW said I couldn't, then as soon as she said to push, and push fast, because Ds2 heartrate had dropped, I was crying and wailing 'I can't do it'

I was told on day 3 i might feel a bit tearful, an understimate i thought I was having a breakdown as so distraught. Fortunely did pass but wish i had been prepared more

That is is perfectly natural to go into a state of shock after a traumatic birth and to need to talk about it but also be horrified at your descriptions of it.

to throw up during labour, and the shakes afterwards, I thought I was going mad..

that you will be perfectly happy to remove all your clothes infront of complete stranger (ie mw) whilst in the final stages of labour.

that feeling of pressure when its nearly time t push - i didnt have it with dd1 but had it majorly with dd2.

the amazement when you realise that you know longer need to wee every 5 seconds as soon as you give birth.

that (for me) when i start to panic im in transistion (has happened both times)

That childbirth is soooo much easier and batter than pregnancy.

That being sick is a reliable sign of full dilatation.

That when the staff tells you your baby is beautiful, you believe for a moment that they don't say it to eneryone else as well.

That your stomach will remain ENORMOUS following the birth. No bugger told me that!
I thought it would snap straight back.

is being sick really a sign that you are fully dilated?? I remember being sick and my waters breaking at the same time on tuesday, and the midwife saying 'oh dear, its from both ends'

It's not the only time you are sick, obviously, but apparently it's pretty common.

That should have been better not batter