Things they don't tell you about childbirth... but are in fact normal

[mumclaire]

Following on from the very enlightening thread about pregnancy I thought I'd start one about childbirth and see what happens!!

I'll start with a very tame one - nobody told me that you can have strong contractions for 48 hours and only be 2cm dialated - I was ready to hit the next person who said that I wasn't in 'real' labour!

No one mentioned anything about a cathetar

Funnypeculiar You did have an orgasm! See this for more thoughts on Orgasmic birth, I won't post any more links just now as I guess it would spark some 'debate'. However, I am very glad that you have experiences this and can tell others of it!

I can never get over how your boldily functions and fluids get to be sooooooo important and that doing that first poo after birth can leave you feeling so triumphant!

Message withdrawn

That giving birth is hugely undignified - and you just don't care - and neither does anyone else.

That a labour lasting several days is not uncommon...

that you'll bleed for at least 4-8 weeks afterwards.

argghhhhh!

I was shocked after the labour when I went to stand up and it hurt like hell, didn't cross my mind that it would hurt after the labour.

And the after pains..................

After pains are far worse than labour.

My friend has recently given birth and she said she threw up 17 times during labour

that you can have all the plans in the world to keep yourself covered up and dignified, but at the actual moment you couldn't give a flying f**k who sees what and you'll most prob wander around starkers and not notice the strange looks you're getting from the maintenance man as you toddle down the corridor

That you might poo yourself

The shaking afterwards - it was awful and I thought I was going to die

It hadn't happened with my first so I was really frightened

That you can't plan for a birth, it will just happen as it is meant to.

That you don't need to put the car seat in the car as soon as your water's break (image of dh running to the car in frantic panic)

That you don't need to get into the car and go and pay some overdue bills you just thought of whilst you are having contractions (another image of dh running to the car in frantic panic)

That you can sit and eat toast and put your feet up when your waters break while your dh runs around like a loon and you sit there relieved that 'this baby is finally coming out' after putting on nearly 4 stone!

that it is the most incredible experience on earth and from start to finish you will feel powerful and strong and it will be beautiful.

any negative experiences come from other people around you.

be strong in mind.

that it can happen early, and that you can ring the midwife at 29 weeks for advice and not feel like you making a mountain out of a molehill and that it probbaly is labour...

The catheter was a god send...ahh no visits to the loo! Didn't even know it was there until much later.

that if your waters break three weeks early dh may ask are you sure,bit early....did you possibly...maybe...have an accident? baby on you bladder and all that grrrrrrr

That just when you've spent your whole pregnancy chucking up, you then have to endure it all the way through the labour. Like, every 5 mins. But also that it really doesn't have to be a total horror story! I'd much rather go through labour again than pregnancy!

Oh yes, and the AMOUNT of water when they break.

that if you have your waters broken it just gushes everywhere and sitting on the loo trying to pee doesnt get it out faster!

i had mine broken by a knitting needle with a hook on the end! i tries to tell them the baby wasnt ready...but 3 days later and pumped full of the drip at top whack got him out!

Childbirth is much easier than pregnancy.

You feel light as a feather when you turn over in bed after birth.

That you will not necessarily 'forget it all the minute your baby is placed in your arms'. You may just feel exhausted, humiliated and generally shite.