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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

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Original poster

Things they don't tell you about childbirth... but are in fact normal

179 replies

mumclaire · 25/09/2007 20:10

Following on from the very enlightening thread about pregnancy I thought I'd start one about childbirth and see what happens!!

I'll start with a very tame one - nobody told me that you can have strong contractions for 48 hours and only be 2cm dialated - I was ready to hit the next person who said that I wasn't in 'real' labour!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

dejags · 29/09/2007 19:38

That your waters can go and keep on going for hours on end.

Even after that you may need to have them broken again.

That the pain is more intense than anything you can imagine and the overwhelming feeling when it ends at the exact moment the baby is born.

The thing nobody could ever, ever convey to me is how incredibly empowering and just damn amazing giving birth is

DontCallMeBaby · 29/09/2007 19:46

That the 'jelly belly' that people talk about remaining afterwards will not be like being a bit fat cos you ate too much over Christmas, it will be like being a slightly under-filled hot water bottle. And you will be able to feel your internal organs settling back into their normal positions. Argh.

newgirl · 29/09/2007 20:02

that you spend too much time thinking about the birth and sort of forget that your life is about to get very very complicated!!

softmusk · 30/09/2007 11:51

you get a baby afterwards i seemed to forget about that in pregnancy and labour

PeppermintPatty · 30/09/2007 18:53

Agree with mumclaire - I too had strong contractions for 48 hours and was only 2cm dilated!
During this time I also puked for England, I couldn't keep down any food or drinks at all.
I was admitted to hostipal after 2 days to be put on a drip and given anti-sickness injections as I was too dehydrated! Eventually DD arrived 2 days after this
No one told me this could happen although apparently same thing happenned to my mum!

vicm · 30/09/2007 19:57

just to say thanks to you all for these, they are hilarious, honest, frightening and reassuring at the same time..... due friday and in a kind of dreading it /can't wait for it kind of a state...... looking forward to my own postnatal posting - remembering what is so often left off the conversations - we get a baby at the end of it! Hooray!

mammyofET · 30/09/2007 20:51

Just had to add - that your waters can break in the bath whilst at home and you don't even realise until you are examined later !

Oh and it may go a lot quicker than you think it will, so you may think that you are rubbish at labour (and tell the midwives that you think you are and that you have no pain threshold whatsoever) when in fact you are examined to be told that your waters have gone (see above) and you are in fact 7cm!

pigletmaker · 30/09/2007 21:08

that your bum can hurt more than any other part of you afterwards, (if you've pushed out a few piles along with the bubba)

loujay · 30/09/2007 21:14

That you may sweat like you have never sweated before whilst pushing out your baby, and that you will carry on sweating for a while afterwards as well.
And your body will ache afterwards as if you have just completed a marathon.

StarlightMcKenzie · 30/09/2007 21:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

pigletmaker · 30/09/2007 21:27

agree wholeheartedly about the "marathon"!!!

suzi2 · 30/09/2007 21:35

That pre labour and early labour and established labour can all feel like the same bloody thing! I was contracting regularly for days with both of mine. I finally asked the hospital to stop the braxtons with DS and they told me that I had got to 7cm! With DD I called the mw out just to keep my mum quiet and was about 8cm.

That the clots you pass afterwards can be huge and frightening.

That afterpains when you're bf can be worse than labour. With DD I was in an awful state feeding her! Oh, and that they can squeeze out a lot of blood and it pools so that when you stand up it can flood your pants and make it's way down your leg. (tip, stand up more often than every few hours!)

That it really can be a brilliant experience, a huge high, a pain you thrive on and crave. Sounds weird, but I LOVED giving birth to DD.

mum2bejan · 30/09/2007 21:42

I am expecting my first baby in January and just want to thank you for the words of wisdom. Its like learning a whole new language when you're pregnant and can seem very scary for a while. Whenever I feel like panicking its lovely to read advice from real women who have experienced childbirth ...so thanks everyone.

harrisey · 30/09/2007 21:45

the fact that when you stand up off the delivery table of floor or wherever, LOTS and LOTS of blood will run out. I seriously thought I was having a major haemmorage and dying, and the midwife just said 'no dear, thats not too bad'

I also thought I was dying in the shower and pulled the emergency cord, just to be told the same.

V delivery or section, there is more blood that you have normally seen before!

suzi2 · 30/09/2007 22:15

lol, tell me about it. For some reason I hadn't noticed with DS. but I had DD at home and the mw's were gone and I flooded a pure white bathroom with blood. On the phone to the hospital convinced something was wrong... was told that if it kept flowing for more than 5 mins constantly then to call back!

A lot of blood afterwards. A lot of ruined clothes and bedsheets. Buy loads of ASDA smartprice £4 navy trackie bottoms!

queenrollo · 30/09/2007 22:58

what shocked me the most was that my contractions hurt in the tops of my thighs....i bruised my legs squeezing them because of the pain......i thought i would feel the pain in my belly but i didn't.

madamez · 30/09/2007 23:14

WHen you push, push from your neck and shoulders, not from your bum. This is the advice I was given by a paramedic pal about a month before I had DS. Sadly in the last throes of labour I remembered it but couldn't work out how to do it so ended up with piles.

On a cheerier note: gas and air is gloriously hallucinogenic

And when you reach that Other Place (you will know what I mean when it happens) then it's nearly over.

kindersurprise · 30/09/2007 23:38

No one told me that I would want to sit for days and gaze at my DD thinking, how the hell did we manage that?

The birth itself was the most exhausting but the most wonderful thing that I have ever done. The moment when my DD was born, the feeling of complete and utter love overwhelmed me. It makes we well up thinking about the first few hours with her.

Oh, and I agree with the buying cheap knickers, I was completely unprepared for the bleeding after the birth. I had to get DH to bring me loads of pjs.

ebenezer · 30/09/2007 23:42

That Other Place - madamez - that's perfect! The only way to describe it! I remember chatting to other new mums in the midwife-led unit after having dd1 - we'd all had pretty much natural births as there was only gas and air available. We all just gave eachother knowing looks - it felt like we all belonged to some secret society! The knowledge of having Been there and Done it! An amazing feeling!

harrisey · 01/10/2007 00:03

Yes! Madamez

You go from being in pretty much (and I had recurent kidney stomnes in pregnancy) the WORST pain you have eb=ver been in to the HAPPIEST you have ever beeen and it makes you cry because you dont know why!!!!!!!

Those few minutes after birth are amazing. I will never forget (and dd2 was ventouse and crap (ds was brill), dd2 was induced, paeads everwhere due to my isssues) yes those few mins after birth are literally the most amazing of my life after all 3 births, despite docs intervening.

ENJOY!

Have fun being a very new mummy, Its amazing!

kindersurprise · 01/10/2007 00:14

Oh, and the bliss you feel when you are able to lie on your tummy again.

casbie · 01/10/2007 09:01

that you can cope.

that there will be an end to the pain.

that all that matters (when giving birth) is the NOW.

no matter how many birth books you read, only experience will empower you!!

StealthPolarBear · 01/10/2007 09:14

That the first night with your newborn can be the best night sleep you've had in the last few days.
That you can fall asleep between contractions and then be woken up by the next one.
LOL at te description of discussing eastenders

MaeBee · 01/10/2007 10:00

that you might not care about your baby you just want the pain to stop!
i didn't poo, but going through my head was the realisation that i wouldn't care if i did!
i too found the gaps between contractions incredible, to be in that much agony and then just fine, and then in agony again!
i know it can be great for some, and not too painful for others, but i thought i would be like that and i wasn't. a friend described it as like a carcrash from the inside out, and thats how it felt.
oh, and the worst bit, that a year later ive still got childbirth injuries. didn't know that was quite common.

abidabidoo · 01/10/2007 10:12

oh yes, the piles, the poo, the clots, the amazing feeling afterwards "I did that". An amazing feeling - your own Mount Everest but with something so much more worthwhile to show for it.

That you really do need a car seat weeks before your due date.

That the reason it's called pelvic floor is that's about the level its at for a while!

That they take the gas and air away just before the last pushing bits - but then you know the end is in sight so can keep going.

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