Things they don't tell you about childbirth... but are in fact normal

[mumclaire]

Following on from the very enlightening thread about pregnancy I thought I'd start one about childbirth and see what happens!!

I'll start with a very tame one - nobody told me that you can have strong contractions for 48 hours and only be 2cm dialated - I was ready to hit the next person who said that I wasn't in 'real' labour!

I also had 48 hours of painful 'pre-labour' contractions before 'established labour' with both DSs

Being in the hospital waiting to have your baby, knowing you are in proper labour, is a wonderful feeling.

1st shot of Pethedine is marvellous, 2nd shot can make you confused.

My DH was so proud of me afterwards he just kept giving me special smiles which made me feel all warm inside - this lasted a few days!

It is the best but also most painful experience I have ever had.

i didn't get G&A for pushing at all - why not?!

It can be a bit odd the first time you try to squeeze your pelvic floor and you realise you have no idea if it is even still there!

Also DS1 kicked/squashed my bladder so much during labour that I had no feeling in it for a couple of weeks and had no idea when it was full!

but i did consider running thr Great North Run yesterday (no training, can't remember the last time i ran) on the basis that it can't need as much stamina as childbirth.
Luckily I was too lazy to get off my arse to do anything about it

Pushing takes longer than i expected. An hour and a half, you see them do it on the telly and the baby is out after 3 pushes!

It can be much longer (ds1 - two bloody days) or be much quicker (ds2 - took the bus to hospital at, it emerged, 9cm and in half an hour he was there) than you anticipate.

The intensity/panic of it (ds2 - with ds1 I had an epidural so didn't have that experience). It really helped to keep repeating myself - any old words.

How liberating and strengthening it is to have a good scream

That you will have to push AGAIN to get the placenta out. All the books I had just said "you won't even notice this bit". I was horrified to have a few more contractions to get it out when I thought it was all over!

amazing how different it is for everyone. I was very jealous to hear some people fell asleep between contractions! My baby had her spine against mine and it was very painful all the way through. I didn't get a rest at all because of the intense pain of her pressing against my spine through the whole labour. I didn't notice the contractions for the placenta though as it came so quickly.

do you still have to push the placenta out even if you've had that injection ( forgot what its called). I assumed it would just come out all by itself quite quickly.

That it will go on for hours and hours, but later on you will only remember about 10 minutes' worth. And you will have no idea what the midwife looked like even though she spent a whole night at your side.

That - especially if you have your waters broken for you - the gushing that comes with every contraction thereafter is incessant (but you dont really care tbh).

That you get to a point where you think "I just cant doooo this anymore please help me...." and that actually means its very near the end/transition.

Contractions dont seem to hurt when you are pushing - you are elsewhere.

That your lady bits swell hugely and dont revert back to normal size for days.

The amount of blood that floods out when you first stand up after birth looks hideous but is generally fine.

syntometrine injection

i don;t recall pushing out placenta

midwife gently tugged it out

you can have a physiological 3rd stage, if you;ve had drug free delivery

putting baby to the breast releases oxytocin whihc helps placenta to seperate naturally

That it would be the most miserable day of my life.

Thank you VoodooLULUmama. As soon as I saw the name of the injection I remembered it.

That it's really hard work - I thought childbirth would be painful but I though it was something that would happen 'to' me - I didn't realise I had to 'do' it.

It's the closest to death you'll come before the real thing.

dd was back to back with me, so no rest between contractions at all. dh was trying to time them and i couldn't tell where one stopped and the next started...just constant pain, for 27 hours.

the amount of water was a surprise to me. it just poured and poured and poured. i remember in the lift at the hospital being mortified that i had yet again leaked right through 2 pads, knickers and trousers and it was pouring onto the floor.

that the urge to push is totally overwhelming. i said to mw..'ooooh it's making me push' and she just said that's ok, do what your body wants to do.' she was fab.

that you might not be so distracted by the joy of your new baby that you won't notice the aftermath, ie placenta going, stitches etc. i needed more gas and air for that bit.

that you can be incredibly weak afterwards, so weak your baby seems to weigh 10 tons. i was expecting this amazing joy etc, but what i actually felt was frickin knackered.

that for the next day you can have the most incredibly sore throat and jaw, more sore than your fanjo in my case (!!) from grunting and clamping on the gas and air nozzle. i remember family and friends saying, how are you recovering, are you comfy enough etc, and i was thinking i'm absolutely fine down there, not even THAT much blood, but my blummin' throat is killing!!

that for a while you forget you can bend normally and lie on your front.

That you can enjoy it - i loved all my labours. And that sometimes you don'y need to push - your contractions can do it for you.

That you'll feel like you've gone 10 rounds with Tyson for a few days afterwards.

Urghh, and the blood! Don't be scared, it is normal (and also 1st AF afterwards, whenever that might be, may be horrible too, i.e. you'll think there's something wrong, but it should settle down after a couple of months.)

christmaspud.. are you ok?

abibatousmum, don't be jealous, it's horrible being woken up by a contraction and being told to push again!

Umm not really.

do you want to talk about it christmaspud? you can cat me or email me if you want, i volunteer for the birth trauma assoc,and am a doula...

That your really have to push that baby out (I somehow thought the contractions would push it out & I would only have to help).

After my waters were broken I started shivering uncontrollaby and ended up giving birth in my dressing gown two hours later (I was told/ read that labour wards are warm, but I felt so cold).

That you can get so fed up with being pregnant that you just can't wait to get birth (I was a bit scared of giving birth earlier on in the pregnancy, towards the end I just did not care anymore).

That I would be too scared to touch my babies head as it started to show (I was concentrating so much on the birth, I could not really deal with the fact that there was a baby at the other end; I was so surprised when she finally slid out and was put on my tummy!)

I had read all the books and attended an antenatal group, but nothing can prepare you for labour.

That I would be such a sucker to read every snipped about giving birth/ labour for months, talk about it to anyone who wanted (or did not want)to hear about it, re-living the moment.

That I would sit up half the night with my new baby who would not want to sleep after just having given birth and feeling compelety exhausted.

I was surprised that doctors kept popping their heads through the door wanting to invervene (why, everything was going swimmingly?). My male! midwife kept having to shoo them away.

That when your babies head is out and the MW tells you to push again to get the rest of the body out you can honestly ask her to pull the baby out now because it hurts to much to pust!