Things they don't tell you about childbirth... but are in fact normal

[mumclaire]

Following on from the very enlightening thread about pregnancy I thought I'd start one about childbirth and see what happens!!

I'll start with a very tame one - nobody told me that you can have strong contractions for 48 hours and only be 2cm dialated - I was ready to hit the next person who said that I wasn't in 'real' labour!

That you must remember to have a wee afterwards - for some reason I didn't realise I needed one and the pain of my distended bladder was definitely worse than labour!!

And the volume of that first wee afterwards! I could not believe how long a non-pregnant wee could go on for after the months of suffering with a cramped bladder!

Oh, I had 2 home births, so no syntometrine injection for me.

You're right, VoodooLULUmama, the midwife did pull out the placenta, but I had to push to help and it HURT (though nothing compared to the birth, of course).

Does a C-section hurt as much?? May be a stupid question, but I have no idea..

I'm another one for telling mums to be that it doesn't necessarily hurt! Have had 3 now and eased through all of them, 3 hrs labour was longest, no pain relief, no stitches (and no not baggy!!) short time of bleeding afterwards. 3rd one was the only one I had any pain with and that felt like a stomach cramp. So anyone reading this that hasn't yet had the pleasure - it may just go swimmingly!!

someone once told me that it was like pooing a melon - and it was!

That lying flat on your back is not a good position to give birth in! Gravity really does help so staying upriht for as long as possible is a good idea (so wish someone had told me that the first time round!)

That you can do it and feel fab about it afterwards!

That it is perfectly normal for it to look like someone hasd been murdered in the shower when you get in after giving birth

That it is normal for your legs to wobble and feel like you are going to fall over in said shower

If you wet yourself when you try to waddle to the loo in the couple of days after the birth it is normala nd you are not going to be incontinent for the rest of your life.

That pelvic floor exercises do matter, all toagether now "Squeeze"

To be scared mindless.

Oh and that the prospect of having a poo for the first time afterwards will feel more terrifying than giving birth, but will actually be fine and your insides will not fall out!!

lovey, having had 4 "natural" deliveries and then a c-section, no the section didn't hurt anywhere near so much

That you can have more control over the situation than you might think - eg you can speed things up by standing up and walking round.

Tremendous sense of achievement afterwards, even though all you did was let nature take its course.

elasticwoman, you can also slow it down. I went into second stage with my DS2 at midnight, having been almost fully dilated at 11pm. Had I not "hung on" DS2 would have been born the day before DS1's 2nd birthday. My brother was born the day before my 2nd birthday and I always resented it.

lovey - no. I've had both and a c-section is a breeze compared to natural birth.

With DD1 I was totally unprepared for the gush of blood as I stood up off the bed right after her birth. Also the stinging of peeing after youve been stitched is as painful as the delivery itself! (and I only had 2 stitches).

Giving birth to your children is in itself the single most rewarding thing ever.

Afterpains

Felt like I was having another baby!!

Ouch,yes. I'd forgotten abour the stinging when you pee. I used a water bottle to flush the area for at least a week after. Was terrified by the prospect of that first poop.

Nobody told me that I might LOOK as though I'd gone 8 rounds with Tyson. In the pictures DH took during labour (yes, DURING labour) and those immediately afterwards my eyes were blackened from pushing.

On arival @ hospital, nurse saw me straighten up with sharp intake of breath when I had a contraction. Said nurse thn started scolding me, said I had to pull myself together & was not coping very well as I was only in early stages & had a long way to go. Upon finding out I was at 7 1/2 cm she shut up. Really wanted to punch her though & still do.

pistachio, i took it off when i got G&A as the wires were getting annoying
I got DH to take it off though, and I had no idea if it was on or not...it was - he jumped about a foot!

that there was such a thing as a 3rd degree tear (or 2nd or 4th for that matter)

that after getting through a long difficult labour on g & a, i would have to have a spinal for the repair job!

that after being awake for so long and being so exhausted, I would not be able to close my eyes for more than 20 seconds as i could not stop looking at my amazing, beautiful girl!

and mbpf

No-one actually said the line "It's a boy!" to me
We'd had a scan at 34 weeks so 99.9% sure but still expected them to say that I had a mild panic after 10 minutes and so lifted the towel to check - he was I then looked at his feet as I realised he'd been born for ten minutes and I still hadn't seen them!

lol at everyone who forgot that they were actually having a baby. With DD I totally forgot! I zoned out in a big way and when she plopped onto the bed between my legs, the midwife said "you can pick it up" and I said "pick what up?". Got someone else to do first cuddle as I was shaky and still in another place!

Nobody told me I'd actually feel a head, shoulders, etc. trying to exit from my botty! It was the weirdest feeling (first labour was numb 100 percent with epidural, so 2nd, with no pain relief, was a bit of a shock).
Oh, and I knew I'd pooed because I could smell it but I thought it was meconium (doh!) and asked repeatedly if the waters were clear because I could smell something (. Yey, tmi!