What do you wish you'd known about labour?

[MrsBumblebee]

Nervous first-timer at 32 wks here. I've read loads of stuff on MN about how nothing can prepare you for the pain, indignity etc of labour (maybe not such a good idea in hindsight ). But is there anything you really wish you'd known about childbirth? Particularly anything that would have made a differenc to your plans, preparations, expectations etc?

The first time I wish I'd known there would be so much 'goo' - not blood but discharge when in labour. I would have worn a sanitary towel when I first got to the hospital.
The second time I wish I hadn't left it o late to go to hospital as I had dd 15 minutes after arriving and could have done with some gas and air before that

But dn't worry, you're body will take over, you will be fine, good luck

All the fluids was also a shock for me. I gave bith 9.45pm, so was pretty much put straight into bed afterwards (after the cup of tea etc.!) In the morning I needed a wee, and the toliet was just opposite me on the ward. So, I got myself up, and WHOOSH, fluid all over the floor, don't know if it was urine, blood, or other, (probably a mix!) I was mortified - I felt like I'd weed all over the floor in front of everyone. Next time I will be prepared for this! My auntie who is a midwife tells me this is quite common. She said I should have pushed the buzzer and asked for help before i got up.

I didn't realise the whole loose bowel thing during labour and throwing up immediately afterwards.
It's like the worst period ever.
That's the only way I can describe it.
Also the actual head coming out wasn't that big a deal compared to the pain of contractions. You're just so glad to be pushing and it alomst being over.
Hope we're not scaring you xxx

and the fluid does not stop. i thought the waters broke and that was that but no you just keep leaking.

your bump doesn't just disappear, you will have to wear your maternity clothes afterwards (think i was particularily stupid about that)

After all the pushing and the head came out - I wasn't looking forward to more pushing for the rest of the body. But he just 'slithered' out - I didn't know that the head was the biggest bit to come out.

Not specifically about 'labour' but I wish I'd known for my first 2 deliveries that I was pefectly entitled to refuse anything I wanted to refuse - ie continous monitoring with DS2. Knew my 'rights' for DS3's birth and it was fabulous - my Doula and DH knew my wishes and helped me make sure that I stuck to them./

It's so different for everyone that trying to hold every single possibility in your head is IMO impossible! So don't feel bad if you now feel nervous AND confused.

That if you suck on Gas and air for 20+hrs your mouth/lips will crack and blow up to the size of Mick Jaggers...I took lots of lip balm in preparation for DS2.

That paper knickers make you feel inhuman...took cheapy cotton mega size ones in with DS2

To have patience if you want to breastfeed, DS1 took a little time to latch on and most of the night was spent with a lovely midwife helping us. Also take in Kamilosan for your nipples.

That it is true, your body does take over and although you will find it all an "ordeal" at the time, you soon find yourself in a bath/having toast/chatting on a ward hours afterwards feeling wierd but fabulous.

On a positive note, I had no idea just how amazing the experience would be. OK, it really does hurt, but you just feel SO special, for those few hours the world revolves around you. I can't really explain what i mean, but it feels like the whole world outside that delivery room has stopped, and eveyone is just holding their breath, waiting for you to deliver. Ah, it's making me feel all teary now!

I know what your mean AJP, both times I was admitted at night and it was magical, dimmed lighting, bouncing on a birthing ball, sucking G&A, giggling with excitement about meeting my baby. I loved that bit!

Wow, so many useful things already!! Keep 'em coming, ladies!

i wish i'd known that it wasn't really going to be that bad.

finding out that it was the most exciting, exhilirating, special, momentous, amazing thing that i have ever done in my whole life, was a good surprise!

My friend just had her baby on Monday. She gave birth in water at Queen Charlottes and had no pain relief. She told me that she doesn't know how anyone can do it without hypnotherapy. She was "breathing out balloons" for so many hours she ran out of colors!

She also said it was all important to have your partner remind you to relax your jaw and shoulders when you start to clench up. Clenching feels natural but it's counterproductive.

I would second the idea of taking lots of bit "sturdy" cotton knickers. I didn't realise I'd need to use pads for about 5 weeks afterwards and i had only taken a few pads, and my normal flimsy underwear. My mum went and bought me some more pads (ultra ultra ultra!) and a pack of proper big knickers whilst I was in hospital.

Best of luck to you, MrsB. Don't be too nervous, it really is such a unique and exciting experience. All that pain, but at the end, your beautiful tiny baby, and the most amazing sense of achievement. You'll never do anything more worthwhile in your life. Til next time of course. Oh, and if MrBumblebee witnesses it all, he will have a newfound respect for you as well. Mine couln't get over it. Quite right too!

That you can throw up with every contraction. Just what you need with all the other stuff going on. I had never heard of this prior to being pregnant but it's very common - why the secrecy? I thought there was something seriously wrong.

that it would be the best day of my life, and i would want to do it again , immediately , as soon as my DD was born! i second what fmmj says..so exhilarating, empowering, and just so powerful...it is just so amazing!
and the undignified stuff gets forgotten about !

That all the embarrassing things you've read about will probably happen but that you won't care a cr*p about them!! They don't seem embarrassing at all when you're in the throes of labour!

Good luck!!!

i wasnt prepared for the mess!
i also stupidly assumed that the baby would come out all pink and clean and smelling of baby bath lol

That it's important to go to the loo! I wound up with a bladder fit to burst and couldn't pee. I had to be catheterised, but that was OK- after the doc got the right length tube as the first one was too short.

And definitely don't be surprised if you're sick. I think it really is quite common.

Good luck! Am jealous. Think I want another already (DS is 8 months)

I wish someone had told me that pethidine doesn't stop the pain - it just makes you too woosy to complain about it!

oooh I'm glad other people have said what a positive experience it was for them too - I always tell nervous expectant mothers that it can be a wonderful experience (particularly as so many people like to proffer scare stories ). I well remember my best friend telling me that her mother had said both her births were lovely experiences and I really hung onto that when having my first!

All of my labours were spent laughing and chatting with m/ws / dh (in between contractions) and I look back on them all positive feelings - it can happen!

I'm going to stick my neck out and say that neither of my two births was overwhelming with positive vibes but it's OK to say that rather than think that you are a failure if you don't experience the wonder of it all. I just wanted to cut to the toast and tea

Mmm sorry to be another negative. 1st time around was pretty traumatic. I cried for what seemed like days afterwards. Nobody had warned me about the feeling of total violation I felt. I only tore very slightly and even still couldn't sit down comfortably for a couple of weeks after.

I had believed childbirth was meant to be painful - sure - but magical. What I actually felt was that I had just gone through absolutely the WORST ever experience of my life!

Tips - Don't have an epidural til the last possible minute as it slows the whole thing down and in my case you need it to work for ages - it wore off on one side. I

Silly tip - The thing they put the baby on after the birth to wipe, weigh, assess etc is called a 'resussitaire'( or at least that's what they called it). In my agony and daze I heard them call for a 'resussitaire' as the baby was about to come out making me believe my son was about to require resussitation - i.e nearly dead!! I freaked out. He was totally fine 10 apgars all round.

2nd time around was a totally different kettle of fish! Still painful but I felt in control and knew what to expect. It was hard work but amazing! (Epidural worked properly that time) - Had it at last minute.