What do you wish you'd known about labour?

[MrsBumblebee]

Nervous first-timer at 32 wks here. I've read loads of stuff on MN about how nothing can prepare you for the pain, indignity etc of labour (maybe not such a good idea in hindsight ). But is there anything you really wish you'd known about childbirth? Particularly anything that would have made a differenc to your plans, preparations, expectations etc?

no advice, except take the max dose of paracetamol if painful when it starts and remember that every woman's story will be different.

Thanks so much for all these. I'm sure there are loads of other jittery first-timers reading this as well as me!

i wish someone had told me that you could heamorrage (sp) and i needed an episiotomy (sp) they would just do it with cold sharp sissors (still gives me nightmares)

i worried about the mess you dont get told how much blood there will be after the birth.
the placenta looks strange but has an amazing job keeping mom and baby together

Wished someone had told me about the amount of blood and goo I would lose after giving birth. Was rather scary at the time. Also I had huge, painful haemorhoids (can't spell it properly) for days afterwards, was really uncomfortable.

On a hugely positive note - I had my baby at home with no drugs and it was great.

I hadn't realised that I would keep leaking after my waters broke, the concept of fore and hindwaters passed me by! Also how much show there was!

No one told me how funny it would feel to walk after the delivery. Those first few steps are strange because your center of gravity changes so fast.

No one tells you that after you delivery you feel "empty". At least I do.

no one told me that you poo yourself in front of your husband and a relative stranger (midwife)

I didn't know it's normal to vomit during labour. Well, I think it is now, as I did with all 3 of mine

I would also add make sure that your dh/p knows exactly waht you do and don;t want (subjetc to medical emergencies of course)

I said if it got too much I wanted an epidural and at that point I was non-communicative with anyone (not uncommon so don;t worry!) but I was being sick and wanted to sleep on the floor. My husband made the decision for me and signed as I was unable to. It was a good decision for me as pretty soon I became more aware and able to listen to advice etc.

Good luck

The best bit was after when the three of us were left alone to meet each other. All we could say was 'we did that, we did that!' when looking at ds.

What I did know, thankfully, was that the midwfe will want to check your stitches if you have any for a few days. I hated her peering.

ooo yes, no one told me about the firts poo!

I had stiches and felt like the first poo was going to rip apart everything and got quite aprehensive about it. You can get poo softening tablets to help ease it out.

Sorry if tmi

Hi

Am a newbie to MN - am totally addicted.

My advice would be:

Don't go to hospital until you almost can't talk through contractions.

Avoid an epidural (oooh light blue touch paper and move away...). The plus side is there'll be no pain, the downside is you'll be catheterised, will have a drip in your arm, will be lying on your back like a stranded beetle (possibly the worst position in the world to push out a baby), labour can be longer, you will have continuous CTG, and the risks of an intervention rocket.

Don't worry about poo-ing - midwives perversely actually get very excited cos it means baby's head is low.

Breastfeeding is hard work and takes a good few weeks to master.

Enjoy - I think a major factor in a successful outcome is the confidence that your body can do it. People like to scare new Mum's with horror stories because normal straightforward births aren't newsworthy.

There is no 'have to' in birth, you can exercise informed choice.

That's a bit long innit...anyway, hope it helps.xx

1. Take a kiddies cup with a lid and a straw for your partner to feed you water

2. really toke on the gas and air, a few puffs does nothing

3. though when you do suck on it a lot it can give you a sore chest for a few days

4. day 1 & 2, you might feel a bit "what's all the fuss about I feel fine" then the adrenaline leaves your body and you might feel like you've been hit by a truck!

5. that adrenaline may also mean that you can't sleep the first night, just when you really need it!

6. follow your instincts. hospital tried to make me wait for a long time before I went in (because they were full!) but I went in just to get them to check me over saying they could send me back home if they wanted but I wanted to be checked, 4 hours later DD was born!

7. Labour pales in comparison to the shock you get in the first few weeks of having a newborn. 4 weeks on and we are kinda getting used to it!

That it hurt like all hell.

The first poo is awful, but the first bath you have after labour feels like a spa day at champneys (not that I know that feels like!)

You are an individual and do whatever suits you and what you feel is right. Personally I wanted every drug available. Others don't like the drugs, it's all entirely up to you and there is no right or wrong.

One of the best things I had with me was one of those face spritzer thingies.

I wish I'd hired one of those valley cushion things for afterwards-I literally could not sit down for a few days. It might have helped!

Everyone is different, but for me : that pushing, as well as being painful is really hard work (when people say it's like running a marathon I now know what they mean)
That is wasn't going to be anything like as bad as I was expecting. As someone else says, the bad bits you read stick in your mind and before you know it you assume they're a lot more common than they are.

I found pushing not painful but much more difficult than I expected- I kept doing it wrong so it went on for ages

I also wich I'd known that having the injection to deliver the placenta more rapidly isn't always such a great idea!

I don't remember being particularly suprised by the amount of fluids but I can't really say I noticed it's all a bit of a blur. One thing I wish I'd known was that the need to push feels like you need to do a poo. I was holding back thinking I just needed the toilet. I'd also say that the contractions are much more painful than the pushing which in my memory was mostly about brute force so if you've got that far without pain relief then it gets less painful from then on. Gas and air makes your throat dry. That's about it. I don't think there is a lot you can do to prepare yourself as it's really only having had the experience that you can really relate to it. It's like nothing else and I second those that have said it's a wonderful experience. Mine was too.

Message withdrawn

Gas and air, if you keep toking on it, can be quite gloriously hallucigenic so enjoy the trip It may make you puke but persevere with it if you can.
When you hit the valley of the shadows (that is not a medical term but you'll know) - that means it's almost over and everything's fine.

Oh, and get yourself a small rubber ring for afterwards. It might sound silly but it's blissful to sit on for the first couple of weeks.

Agree with CatIsSleepy re the injection to deliver the placenta. I didn't have it 3rd time round.