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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Original poster

What do you wish you'd known about labour?

189 replies

MrsBumblebee · 19/07/2007 09:31

Nervous first-timer at 32 wks here. I've read loads of stuff on MN about how nothing can prepare you for the pain, indignity etc of labour (maybe not such a good idea in hindsight ). But is there anything you really wish you'd known about childbirth? Particularly anything that would have made a differenc to your plans, preparations, expectations etc?

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hotcrossbunny · 03/08/2007 15:29

I wish I hadn't believed everything I heard at NCT classes. I happily wrote on my birthplan I'd like to avoid an epidural and they believed me! I went in 9 cm, they broke my waters and then I entered hell. I was in such pain - too much to talk, contractions coming every 30 seconds for 12 hours - no-one suggested epidural at all until too late... Just as anaesthetist turned up I finally dilated fully and started pushing. I pushed for 3 hours, double episiotomy all on G and A and felt like I had been violated just like Mare said. Looking back I wish I hadn't mentioned epidurals on my BP there is no knowing how you'll feel and my dh was useless at fighting my corner. I look back with such sadness because I had managed fine until I got to hospital and if I'd had my own midwife things could have been so different

MrsMcJnr · 03/08/2007 16:19

I read this with real interest, thank you ladies. I'm only 16 weeks with my first but have already been subjected to some behaviours from HCP that make me really worry about the birth.

I realise I need to find out all I can and stand my ground when there is no risk to me or the baby but how do I learn my "rights" as Fannyannie put it?

Thanks

alicet · 03/08/2007 16:26

Not read whole thread so may be repeating....

The best thing I'd known (or rather prepared myself for) was that anything can happen. Birth plans are all well and good (I did one last time and will do again) but are really only for that ideal situation. You relaly need to consider and think through all the possible scenarios you might find your self in - instrumental deliveries, induction, augmentation, section etc....

Needless to say last time I found myself in the one situation I had never really considered - emergancy section. think I'm not the only one to end up with the one option not relaly considered!

lulumama · 03/08/2007 16:27

AIMS site

and

doula uk

AIMS will tell you what your birth rights are and doula uk can give you info about doulas in your area who can offer you support before, during and after labour

no-one can tell you how and where to give birth, sometimes though you have to fight for what you want, and it pays to know where you stand

NICE guidlines re pregnancy and birth are here too.....

eg NICE guidelines advise you can wait 96 from PROM until induction, whereas some hospitals only allow 24 or 48 hours

MrsMcJnr · 03/08/2007 16:53

thanks

americantrish · 03/08/2007 17:02

hope we're not scaring you, mrsbumblebee....

i wish i'd known how much it would hurt, that the gel insert they gave me to induce me could have started labour so quickly (they didnt tell me this!), the amount of goop that comes out with baby and all the white stuff on baby, all the blood after.
(i didnt have an epi and g&a made me ill ) -

but at the end of it all, its worth it.
and you really do block out most of the pain and icky bits.

trust your body. it knows what its doing

mummylin2495 · 03/08/2007 17:14

with my first baby when the pain got so bad ,i didnt realise that it was as bad as it was going to be,and that it was near the end.I forgot it all instantly when i saw my baby ,i would of done it all again the next day.It was lovely and worth every second of the pain.I think its natural to be scared,i thought beforehand I would probably die !

mrsboden · 03/08/2007 17:24

With my first baby, i had my waters burst for me in the hospital and didn't experience a gush. For my second, i desperately wanted to know what your 'waters breaking' felt like. For me it was embarrasing, it wasn't a 'gush' it was more like trickle, and every so often abit more would come out (just like weeing yourself) but it was more than a dribble, enough to need new pants/trousers on. I remember feeling silly arriving at the hospital in the car, my crotch soaked through and not wanting anyone to see me - silly i know. Being in labour for me was 'bloody sore' and it hurts, but just like all steps of having kids, there are no awards handed out afterwards for bravery so do what you can, and if you can't cope then don't be afraid of asking, your not letting anyone down by doing so. Good luck (i write this 8 days away from my due date with my third!!)

mosschops30 · 03/08/2007 17:36

How great that pushing feeling is, when your body takes over and you just have to push.

That the feeling you get when they tell you to pant and you know its almost over is wonderful

That I would bleed for so long and heavy afterwards (you can NEVER have enough maternity pads)

That i would throw up a million times but not really notice

Pruners · 03/08/2007 17:53

Message withdrawn

FirstTimerWhaleWoman · 04/08/2007 22:39

Pethedine is RUBBISH and makes you crazy! Plus if anyone comes near you telling you to try acupuncture DON'T, by the time she finished with me I was ready to stick neadles in her eyes!

Epudiral rocks! I don't care what the health risks are, after three days in labour "ANYTHING NOW!" will be the only thing you can say.

Do not let anyone make you feel bad about breastfeeding. Some women just can't do it - I cried for 4 days solid beating myself up about being a bad mother with all the pressure put on me to do something that my body just could not.

It sounds silly, but TAKE IT EASY! I burned myself out after 7 days trying to do everything. Concentrate on yourself and baby. If family/ friends are suffocating you, just tell them to go away and leave you alone. You can balme it on baby blues and apologise later.

ratfly · 04/08/2007 23:42

2 things worth noting from my experince:

  1. make sure they give you the correct dose of pethidine - my mw calculated it for me as I am only little. I fI had the standard amount, I would have gone loopy, but with my 1/3 amount I quietly went to sleep.

  2. who cares about dignity? I was VERY worried about people poking and prodding etc, but during the labour itself, the whole england rugby team could have had a look, and I would not have cared.

mrsboden · 05/08/2007 09:38

You can never overpack your hospital bag - my first baby i ended up with a emergency c-section (forgot to read that chapter in the book!) and then ds was special care for 5 days, but i had only packed for 1 nights stay, so pack plenty of pants (you do bleed), nursing bras/breast pads (i had packed 6 which were soggy and used by the end of day one) and clothes, you don't want to be stressing about running out. Remember slippers! Also incase you do go into labour in the middle of the night, bring something for hubbie/partner/you to eat cause the night and watching the hours tick by, can take its toll.

massivebigpantsface · 05/08/2007 10:13

i wish i had known that getting to 10cms was the easy bit. i had to push for a very long time and because i thought the that should have been the easy bit , i was quite traumatised thinking there was something wrong or that i was doing something wrong. i know now that my body was just tired after dealing so well with the 1st stage contractions, and actually everthing was going very well, just taking some time.

good luck, you are about to do something amazing!

massivebigpantsface · 05/08/2007 10:14

'because i thought that the pushing should have been the easy bit '

Tipex · 05/08/2007 21:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

littlelapininhercar · 05/08/2007 21:08

Oh MrsBumblebee, I wish you a lovely easy labour but your thread title made me want to respond "How shit Tony Blair was going to be"

peggotty · 05/08/2007 21:12

I knew that there was a good chance I would produce a mid-labour poo, but didn't realise that a) I wouldn't notice and b) I wouldn't care.

Also, all the books say that you will 'just know' when labour has begun. Well, I bloody didn't. I kept telling myself I wasn't in labour because I'd been in hospital a hour before and they'd told me I wasn't. Got back to the hospital after 2 hours of agony and was 8cms dilated (still convinced that I wasn't really in labour).

Wilkie · 05/08/2007 21:18

Gas and Air makes your throat SO SORE for a few days afterwards (although I was sucking on it for about 18 hours).

Make sure you take some cordial to drink - I got through 2 litres (undiluted)!!!

Embrace epidurals - they are great

LIZS · 05/08/2007 21:25

That being active in labour is all very well but near transition my legs gave way, shaking with a life of their own, so really couldn't support me for delivery at all. Oh yes the sweating(and hospitals are warm anyway so take moisturisers, bottled water, sprays, lip balm) and gas and air may make you sick if you take a big swig , take little puffs to start with .

filchthemildmanneredjanitor · 05/08/2007 21:26

that 10 years down the line the country would not have changed in as favourable a way as i would have hoped.

filchthemildmanneredjanitor · 05/08/2007 21:26

but that's not what you meant is it????

flashfinn · 05/08/2007 21:27

That I could actually get through it relatively easily without any pain relief.

That we would need to drive at 75mph to get to hospital on time and learn road rage skills.

How to get out of car into a wheelchair.

How to get my clothes off.

How to stop myself pushing. Then once clothes off, to know that you need to push and not scream!

To put your hand down there when head is coming so you can feel babys progress each time you push - that was great!

Really - knowing when to leave home would be the best preparation and no-one could really tell you that - when I rang the hosp (4 ins apart) they told me to take my time HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHHHHHARARRARARAAAAGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH BIG MISTAKE!

notnowbernard · 05/08/2007 21:29

That you need a mini-mountain of sanitary pads

kerala · 05/08/2007 21:30

Everyones experience is different but personally:

  1. Epidural was fab did not slow down labour but sped it up and took away the pain - bliss

  2. If you end up being induced it hurts more than naturally started labour so you more likely to want/need an epidural

  3. If you do end up having a c section dont beat yourself up about not having a natural birth