What do you wish you'd known about labour?

[MrsBumblebee]

Nervous first-timer at 32 wks here. I've read loads of stuff on MN about how nothing can prepare you for the pain, indignity etc of labour (maybe not such a good idea in hindsight ). But is there anything you really wish you'd known about childbirth? Particularly anything that would have made a differenc to your plans, preparations, expectations etc?

I know MG even thinking about it now, holding on for dear life. But these are the things that you don't even think about until afterwards. I'll know next time. Congratulations btw

I cant remember hardly anything about labour, except after getting DS's head out, they told me to do another push, so i did and he just slithered out. I remember going "oooo!" when he did that coz i didn't expect it. LOL!

Yep, to take gallons and gallons of water, plus a normal sized bottle with a sports top to drink it out of in between gasps of gas & air. That said, my first labour was during a heat wave!

If you have been in labour for a long time without eating anything, get the MW to check your sugar levels (DH remembered this - I didn't) - they can give you a glucose drip.

I wish I'd known that not all first labours are 12 hours +.We were told this at ante natal classes & every book I read said the same thing.So,consequently,my DH wouldn't believe me when I insisted on going to hospital almost as soon as my contractions started.I was right though,by the time I was admitted 30 minutes later,I was 9cm-DD1 was born after 4 hours of labour & would have been 1 hour quicker if I'd not been so shocked at the speed of things & not pushed properly.

Also,the bit when you think that you just can't do it anymore is the bit just before the end.!

Good luck.

Also, you won't necessarily be in pain afterwards (except the after pains with babies no 2,3,4,5, 6 etc ) - I came out after 2 nights with DS1 and 1 night with DS2 and DS3 and went shopping the next day which included walking up a quite long steep hill home.

I am a midwife (although have never confessed this on MN before!) I have had two fab births and I believe that knowledge is power. Although many mums do have difficult first births I never thought I would. I avoided intervention which I really believe helped me to have normal births. I just felt unbelievably positive about it for the whole labour and sure it hurts a lot but it is copeable with and of course you get the best thing in the world at the end of it. I think that as has been said lots of people are surprised that there is so much 'gunge' when they are in labour, they are surprised that from when your waters go until when you have the baby there is a pretty much constant trickle which must be horrible if your waters go two days before labour even starts. Gas and air was great for me and really helped when I first started using it but it felt fairly useless towards the end. Epidurals are great for complicated labours such as inductions, but imo best avoided for normal labour because they really increase your chances of an instrumental delivery. To the person who felt that hcp's do not encourage normal births I really try to do so when I am at work, as do many of the people I work with. If it is important to have the support of a midwife with experience in natural births then your best bet is to aim to deliver in a midwife led unit or at home. There are midwives keen to encourage natural births in consultant units but it is more difficult for them as they have stricter protocols to follow about time limits and that sort of thing. Although some people have horror stories, I have only come across about one or two people who have genuinly felt that it was that bad that they would not ever have another child, and that is in thirteen years as a midwife, I must have come across thousands of women in that time. It can be a wonderful experience and will almost certainly be a life changing one.

MrsMCJnr, I had a drip in my left hand because I was induced. I couldn't have the gel because she was a very sleepy baby and they were worried about causing destress by giving me the gel. The drip also kept me from getting dehydrated as I wasn't allowed to eat or drink anything. I had the threat of a section hanging over me for the 13 hours I was in labour becasue they were worried there was a problem. There wasn't, she was just sleepy. I knew this but they wouldn't listen!

YEs there are male midwives and they can be great - DS was delivered by one and he was fab - he'd been on the ward and around through most of my (induced) labour and he was the one who stitched me afterwards.

Other hints - take something in for you to eat. Hospital forgot to feed me the day after DS was born and I was very glad of the muesli bar and biscuits I had in my bag. Also, take some soft fruit or instruct visitors to bring soft fruit to help with that first poo.

1 If you have the opportunity go for a Midwife led unit as they are much more hands off and allow you to go naturally unless they feel there is a risk to your LO. Mine were great and even with a 9 hour active labour I was only given 2 internals and was encouraged all the way. Gave birth on a Birthing stool - fantastic invention!

2. You will quite possibly not burst into tears when you see LO for the first time. I thought I was wierd for not crying!

3. You will still need to push out the placenta which unless you have the jab can take a while - I was asking to have the G&A back! Had the jab after about 30mins as I just wanted it over with by then. One push and it almost hit the Midwife Once that was out all was well!

4. I put on my notes that if I am in a bad mood the best way to annoy me is to call me "love" or "darling" and suggested the Midwives stuck to using my real name. They did and no one got hurt

Good Luck and let us know how you get on!

My dh cried when LO arrived but I didn't. I felt ever so mean.

I cried that night when I held dd up on my legs and spoke to her and she stopped crying instantly and looked at me intently. I'll never forget that. ahhh!

Aah that's really nice Bettymama