What do you wish you'd known about labour?

[MrsBumblebee]

Nervous first-timer at 32 wks here. I've read loads of stuff on MN about how nothing can prepare you for the pain, indignity etc of labour (maybe not such a good idea in hindsight ). But is there anything you really wish you'd known about childbirth? Particularly anything that would have made a differenc to your plans, preparations, expectations etc?

how utterly delciously delightful it would be to go to the toilet afterwards and have the first full proper pee for months and months. its the simple pleasures i most enjoy

you too TM !!

Some stuff:

Childbirth - Practice breathing out for as long as you can and then breathing some more. You will need this skill when you push. Also get your partner down the bottom end - you need all the encouragement you can get!

Don;t worry about having an epidural. It doesn;t hurt putting it in. I had one and it was marvellous. It was a mobile one and I could still walk and wee etc.

Take loads of sanitary towels - you need two in your pants

After childbirth - That you will need your mum - or another person - to come and look after you after you have had the baby. I thought I would be fine but I needed help getting in and out of the bath and getting dressed for about 3 days. It's useful to have someone to stay on top of the housework - esp the washing and the complete mess your house will be in after having contractions at home for 24 hours (if you are me!).

You will also need someone of a mum variety to show you how to bath the baby and tuck the baby in - I felt too confused to be sure I was doing it right.

Do not let yourself get constipated.

xx

I don´t think anything made a difference.. I asked on here and got a lot of information beforehand but when my waters broke I still freaked out and went to hospital way too early. That was such a bad mistake. Looking back it was pretty likely it was a hindwater leak so I should have just ignored it and carried on. Unfortunately by going to hospital to be checked I then entered ´The System´ and they wouldn´t let me home. 24hours later I was being induced, continuous monitoring, epidural etc etc. I don´t feel traumatised, all in all in was very hard work and very painful but the feeling overall was of a positive experience given the circumstances. But I have been left wondering if I had just been more calm and patient and stayed at home, would it all have been just a bit easier? i.e. would I have avoided induction and hence monitoring and epidural?

So I guess, stay calm, stay calm, STAY CALM and really think and think twice about going to hospital if you are not in immediate need of pain relief...

Sticking my neck out with Voluptua - it's vile, it's excruciatingly painful, it goes on far too long - BUT at the end you get tea and toast and you have a darling little newborn sweetie to cuddle. And in my case, although birth was disgusting beyond belief, breastfeeding was a breeze, easy as pie and an absolute pleasure.

oh yes, that I would become the most placid, pliable person in the world. I am pretty stubborn and was sure I would fight my corner and not do anything I didn´t want to but in the end I just couldn´t even think for myself, let alone put up any kind of resistance to anything!

I agree with practice the breathing. We missed the antenatal classes for one reason or another and really struggled for the hours that dh and I were alone in the room during dilation. Neither of us knew how to cope and dh kept saying ´breathe´ ´breathe´ and i was like I DON´T KNOW HOW! lol

And it really is true that almost as soon as it´s over, you start to forget. Now I remember it was painful but in a very abstract way. Immediately after I told dh to shoot me if I ever suggested a home birth with no pain relief ever again. The other day I did just that He was speechless.

in complete contrast to bluestocking. I had a fabulous easy quick drug free birth...then got terrible depression when my baby wouldn't breast feed!

Nobody had told me was how bloody fantastic the tea and toast tastes afterwards. I ate mine and DHs

Seriously, the thing I wish I had known was that it really isn't labour if you can still hold a conversation and you should get as MUCH rest as you can. I had read so much about active birth I did far too much walking around in the early stages and nearly didn't have enough energy for the real deal.

Have to disagree with leo, do NOT let your partner down to the business end! They'll see enough anyway, and once seen, never forgotten.

That ds was in breach position and that i didnt need to get to 9cms before this was discovered and could have gone straight for the csection........

I'm with MrsT - the business end is for the MW and the ObsGobs, not some poor unsuspecting man who may have to view you as a potential sexual partner again at some point in the dim and distant future!

I guess everyone's different! I could not have done it without my hubby shouting encouragement saying he could see the head and to keep going. Honestly. I think I would have given up. I had a verrrrrryyyyy looooonnnnngggg labour though....

I'd echo Leo1978 - avoid getting constipated. I had a brilliant trainee midwife who was at my booking, in my antenatal classes, did some of my antenatal visits and who was also the midwife on the ward after giving birth (I know, very lucky continuity) and she gave me a stern look as I arrived on the ward and said "Don't eat the hospital food, you'll get terribly constipated". I got my mother to bring in fruit and sandwiches with salad in, and drank loads of mineral water, and otherwise ate breakfast cereal and yoghurt from the help yourself ward kitchen, and I managed to "go" before leaving hospital and didn't have any problems.

Really about the tea and toast.I didn't get either...after dd was born I ended up eating dhs stale sandwiches (the ones he didn't get a chance to eat 'cos I wouldn't let him leave me apparently

This is fab, keep them coming!

To empty my bowels as soon as I started labour! DS birth was delayed I would guess by about 4 hours because he got caught behind my full bowels . After being informed of this my a MW (by this stage I could'nt differentiate pressure from baby or bowel) I emptied them, felt DS drop like stone and pushed him out 20 minutes later!

Oh and dont let DH push your feet. My DH said he could see the head and thought it was never gonna get out, so knowing how I wanted to avoid a c-section, when I pushed he pushed back on my leg. Hey presto bouncing 8lb baby boy and 3rd degree tear requiring surgeon to stitch who was delayed in theatre!

Agree, keep DH's away from the business end

That you dont have to lay on the bed.

You dont have to be monitored constantly through an induction if you dont want to.

You dont need to hold your legs up to push.

You dont have to do anything that speeds up the length of labour, for the convenience of the mws.

that i could sound like that eg demonic she wolf in agony

I wish I had known with my 1st dd that you should take the gas and air as soon as the contaction starts NOT when it starts to feel painful, as then it is to late to have any effect.

With my 2nd dd I had this piece of info and took the gas and air as soon as the contraction started - what a difference, by the time the contraction was peaking it was fine as the gas and air was working, rather than being wasted at the end of the contraction.

I second Ivy gasn and air much more useful second time round when it's use had been properly explained!

Great feeling too

That the fear disappears as soon as you get going. As I'm sure any embarassment would too.

That staying on your feet and walking or just standing and swinging/rocking your hips makes a huge amount of difference.

Agree on pads - sanitary and breast, buy lots. I only had about 2 packets of each first time round (ha ha ha)!

It hurts. I know that sounds stupid, but I really wasn't prepared for quite how much it hurt.

Having said that, I went on to have DS2 and DS3 in both cases without any artificial pain relief at all, so knowing how much it hurt didn't exactly put me off.

Oh, and avoid pethidine like the plague.

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