What's the most memorable thing said to you while you were giving birth?

[Elasticwoman]

A midwife said to me, as I was going into transition, "This is going well, do you mind if we video you?"

My answer was emphatic, if unprintable.

DH said to me "'I can't, I can't', you're always so negative".

While I was in the process of delivering a 9 10 baby.

Still rankles...

'you are 1cm dilated, go back home'... after 10 hours of contractions

'We all think you don't need an epidural .... you are coping so well' Coping so well my foot give me the drugs and be quick about it!!!!!

When being stitched up, legs akimbo in stirrups, I asked why it was taking so long and the doctors said

'I'm just piecing it all back together again'

Whilst getting epidural
Doc - "you have a strong back, do you do a lot of sport ?"
Me through clenched teeth "not at the moment"

The midwife told me you had to keep the G&A pipe in my mouth on the outbreath, too. Was only later that I was told I'd been shouting 'f*ck' at the top of my breath. For several hours...

"It's meant to hurt, that's why it's called labour."

by v unsympathetic midwife bitch from hell.
If I could have gotten off the bed at that point and taken her head off with my bare hands I would have ...

Message withdrawn

"Stop swearing & just Push" !!

LOL themoon66 - I can only laugh as they didn't say that to me. I just got the OMG look from two midwives with DS1 as they were assessing the damage post birth and how they were going to fix it. Also 'we need to get the gynecologist(sp??)to sew you up!' All worked out fine in the end though.

calm down please your not the first girl to have a baby you know!

another v. unympathetic midwife which i accidently punched 10 mins later

it wasn't something said to me, but I remember one of the midwives (and I went through several shifts trying to give birth !) wanting the fan above my bed turned off as she had a cold - never mind me sweating like a pig !!!
Also,someone put a sanitary towel on my forehead,soaked in cold water (a clean one I hasten to add)

Pity she had to be at work at all, if she was unwell, Doughnuts.

you wimp when I asked for pain relief I was fully dilated at the time and hadn't had any pain relief

DH fell asleep on the bed in the delivery room. I was about 9cm dilated and the MW needed to do an internal examination. I was sitting on a hard upright chair and she said' oh lets do your examination here, it seems a shame to wake the poor love!!'

It must have been the drugs that made me nod in agreement!!

with dd1 - student doctor (male) said "I know exactly what you're going through

with dd2 - you're not in labour, go home (dd2 born 3/4 hour later

with ds - we'll only be five minutes (to dp as they gave me the anaesthetic for cs).....an hour later, he's still waiting

Doctor, called in to deal with DS2 who wasn't keen on actually popping out - "Good afternoon Mrs. H., I'm Dr. So and So, nice to meet you". I screamed "I don't give a f* who you are, just get the baby out". Doc - "You'll need to stop screaming, it's taking up too much energy. Save it for pushing".

Or apparently this is what was said, I can't remember, but DH likes to remind me.

doughnuts LMAO sanitary towel on forehead

It can't be that bad- " My MIL"

They should never be allowed to visit delivery even for a minute

it wasn't nice,gegs

Lets hope there is no photographic evidence

ds was born during a massive thunderstorm

midwife : bet you're glad your're in here

half an hour later,just born confirming he was a boy and after a particularly loud clap of thunder

Your're not doing to name him Damien are you ?

thank God no - it was one of those old fashioned looped ones too - yuck.

lol yaddayadda - and did you ?