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Childbirth

Share experiences and get support around labour, birth and recovery.

Original poster

What's the most memorable thing said to you while you were giving birth?

365 replies

Elasticwoman · 04/07/2007 18:44

A midwife said to me, as I was going into transition, "This is going well, do you mind if we video you?"

My answer was emphatic, if unprintable.

OP posts:
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LaBoheme · 04/07/2007 21:15

"please! you have to hold completely still"

anaesthetist putting the needle in my lower spine whilst I was having a contaction AND a leg cramp at the same time

impaled in my memory banks for eternity

CountTo10 · 04/07/2007 21:15

As i was really starting to struggle, dp grabbed my hand and said:

'Come on baby, dig deep, you can do it, just dig deep'

Dig deep, dig bloody deep???!!! Do I look like I'm playing football??!!

And my mum and dp asking me what music I wanted mid huge contraction was a good one too!!!

Twinklemegan · 04/07/2007 21:16

Oh yes, I forgot that one. He'll be out within the half hour. Three hours later...

Oh, and my lurvely consultant telling me that I was wasting my energy by making noises. Stupid woman.

Frizbe · 04/07/2007 21:16

Oh oopse said to me must read thread title properly!!!
To me 'oh you live on that street do you, you'll know my mother she lives at....' by the MW!

Nemo2007 · 04/07/2007 21:18

pmsl mine would have to be about 40mins before DS was born I thought I was being discrete and told DH we could have a quickie before the baby was born on the hospital bed and no one would know...believe me it was 100% the drugs as Dh just looked at me then said to the mw do they all go like this Yes she was in the room with her hand up my fanjo checking dialation

DaisyMOO · 04/07/2007 21:23

As I screeeeeamed at the top of my voice, writhed around and frantically gripped dh's hand the anaesthestist said "oh dear, are you having a contraction?"

tortoiseSHELL · 04/07/2007 21:25

The labour ward is a bit busy atm, you'd be much better off here in the antenatal ward - oh you're 7-8cm, here's a wheelchair, off you go dear!

FlamingTomatoes · 04/07/2007 21:26

"there's absolutely no need for all that noise, can you please be quiet?"

I told her to FUCK OFF DON'T YOU DARE SPEAK TO ME LIKE THAT!

and do you know?

She didn't,ever again.

mandymac · 04/07/2007 21:30

I have two favourites:

MW "Oh no you aren't in labour - those are just prostin pains (I was fully dilated and ready to push 3 hours later) .

'Do you think that bit goes with that bit' - consultant to MW down at the 'business' end whilst stitching my episiotomy

Twinklemegan · 04/07/2007 21:32

I really wish I'd said something like that FT.

Kathyis6incheshigh · 04/07/2007 21:33

Would you like an aromatherapy massage?

=dh, making me laugh, bless him.

FlamingTomatoes · 04/07/2007 21:33

so did I in the first labourt - she caught me mid contraction and I just... spoke my mind! I was so shocked, she actually did shut up!

hippopotamouse · 04/07/2007 21:37

I also got the "do you think this bit goes there" while getting stitched up!

It was made worse by the fact Countdown was on and I still can't watch that program without feeling sick when the "do do do do do do do do dum" tune comes on!

WideWebWitch · 04/07/2007 21:39

oh snort, snort, snort at this thread, ha ha ha ha ha, thank you!

Not said to me but by me, 2 hours into a 9 hour first labour "oh, this is fine what on earth is all the fuss about?"

AlistairSim · 04/07/2007 21:42

Nemo - PMSL!

MW discretely asking me if I minded having my dad in the delivery room.

"That's not my dad, that's my husband."

pinkspottywellies · 04/07/2007 21:43

On arriving at the hospital the midwife said to get up on the bed and she'd have a look and see how it was going. She got to about a metre away from me and said "Right, I can see your baby's head". The next hour was a blur until dd arrived!

GColdtimer · 04/07/2007 21:43

Oh, something that actually made me laugh mid contraction (very painful). Listening to dds heartbeat on the monitor I said "sounds like horses galloping". DH said, Gawd, hope its not a horse. PAUSE. You'll never get the bugger's head out"

HelenLoveJoyOfSpringfield · 04/07/2007 21:44

"You look like my aunt Bertha... you remember the fat one at our wedding?"

lissie · 04/07/2007 21:45

mw on my 70th hour in labour: "oooooh those contractions are coming along nicely lissie, bet they're smarting now". patronising b*tch!

dh on my 71st hour in labour: "my finger really hurts, nurse, will you take a look please."

bookthief · 04/07/2007 21:45

As I was going up to the labour suite in the lift with two midwives who were cracking jokes to each other "you're in labour, you're not meant to be grinning".

No, that would have been a grimmace given that they had kept putting off sending me up so I had no pain relief, I was on my own and no one seemed that interested in phoning dh to get him back and the contractions were about a minute apart. Cheers ladies

Califrau · 04/07/2007 21:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

hippopotamouse · 04/07/2007 21:47

I was in the labour ward and some woman along a bit howled through her contractions and everyone kept looking at each other thinking some monster was being delivered in the next room!

I said to the midwife to tell her she was being a bit dramatic, putting me off, and would terrify any first timers going to have there babies!

She laughed and I really hope she didn't pass it on , then added you don't get many of you quiet ones in here (I had my eyes closed and teeth clenched throughout!)

hippopotamouse · 04/07/2007 21:49

their babies

Original poster
Elasticwoman · 04/07/2007 21:49

As I was trying to push out ... forget which one it was ... dh said "there really is a baby there you know"

like I thought it was just wind.

OP posts:
Twinklemegan · 04/07/2007 21:50

Hippotamouse - hope that wasn't me