What's the best advice you could give a new mum?

[VickyLouise]

Hello everyone,
My best friend is having her first baby in a couple of months time and I want to make her a really nice book full of mum's tips for surviving your first child.
Does anyone have any pearls of wisdom that I could include?

for after the birth find the biggest sanitarty towels you can find and disposable pants. if you have any stiches or grazes bath in lavender oil and tea tree oil 4 drops of each in your bath works wonders.just do nothing but look after your baby do things when you a ready and fill comfortable like going out for the first time sounds easy but it felt like a big effort for me.
enjoy your newborn they change so quickly !

As a mum of 7 month old heres mine:
Have an epidural and get it topped up!
have tea tree oil for bath for stiches and one of those eye pads you put in fridge for episiotomy.
Remember them when they are tiny, you do forget.
I was neurotic about routines- yeah stick to them if you can, but beleive me most babies get back into they routine the next day.
Try and breast feed its wonderful to know you are providing their nutrition, but it does hurt.
Dont forget about your husband/partner.
My whole hearted attitude when it came to having dd is that if she slept on a night I could cope with anything during the day, and so far its worked. Bath Bottle/Breast bed every night. And let them sleep during the day, they will sleep better for it on a night. Oh and try anything to get baby on time (even sex!)- was 14 days late and induced- not nice....

Oh should not advocate books- as they do get you neurotic, but if you mustread them,and I did,use bits of them all, but Baby Whisperer Tracey Hogg V good

Very new mum myself but the best advice I got was to make sure baby's bum is dry before you put new nappy on - it has so far totally prevented nappy rash!!!

Plus baby loves bum 'blow-dry'... I just fan with clean nappy. Watch out for boys tho - they pee a lot farther than you'd think!

enjoy the last feww weeks of peace, you will never ever get it again!

take a eye mask thingy into hospital with you to help you sleep in the night while people come and go and lights are on and off all night on the ward.

dont feel bad about using a dummy or formula feeding

dont expect too much too soon - dont expect to feel normal down below for a while, dont expect the baby to sleep through for a few months (I know, I know) just try and go with the flow

try and keep on top of the present opeining and thankyou notes, they mount up very quickly!!!

try and get out of the house even just to walk to the post box and back (to post those thankyous)

swaddle and then use grobags

if the baby wont settle upstairs on their own put a radio on eg Classic FM (esp lovely at Christmas time). Also believe white noise helps eg washing machine. Our son used to lie in moses basket next to dishwasher!!

carry a muslin everywhere, great for al sorts of spillages

if breasfeeding get a sports bottle of water so you can drink with a straw in case you need both hands for the feeding

get a foam insert for the bath, then baby can have a splash from very young age

meet as many pregnant people now as you can and then force yourself to get out there and mee them afterwardsm, they will become your social network and your lifeline

if you want so shift the baby weight afterwards find out if your local leisure centre has a creche and use it for valuable me-time - ours takes them from 6 weeks and having no fmily around this was a life saver for me

dont feel guilty about using said creche or parents or whatever

also I found weightwatchers a really good social event - my meeting had loads of young mums, and coffee was available, it was a lovely morning out!

Hope this helps, its a lovely idea for your friend
Jillx

write on every card you get, if and what they send as a gift, so that when the time comes to write thank you cards, you know who sent you what- I forgot and had to write the same message on every one!!

Lavander oil in the bath is very soothing too.
Take arnica afterwards (birth that is, not bath!)

-If you are bottle feeding - get a bottle warmer by the side of the bed and put the night bottles in a cool-bag alongside. All to avoid the trips to the kitchen in the night!
-Let the phone ring if you are busy with baby. If its important they will ring back.
-Grobag - definitely!
-Put off visitors for the first week home if you can so you can get to know your baby and look super confident when the visitors do flood in!
-Buy a plastic moulded bath support - fab.

Don't ever feel guilty for anything you do or don't do!
Whether you breastfeed or bottle feed
co-sleep or have a nursery
go back to work or become a SAHM

Do what makes your whole family happy! (and that includes YOU)

practical tips
do a standard round robin type of letter with digital camera pics inserted for after the birth (and just stick a thank you for the blanket/toy scribble on the bottom) that way you stay in touch and stay thank you but you don't have to write lots of cards

buy a digital camera!

get a tummy tub - best thing I bought, no bathtime tears and a baby who now loves water.

have a home birth - soooooooo much nicer

Be strict about visitors - my GP said visitors are only allowed to come if YOU want to see them in the first week and he suggested a strict 10 minute limit. (this doesn't include the nice type of visitor who take baby and bottle downstairs to cuddle with grandma, granddad makes homemade soup and brings it up to new mom in bed then mom and dad get a nice 2 hour nap!)

Sorry I havn't read whole thread, but I've seen some really good advice!

my little tip on top of all the really big ones is to buy or use a free calander and pop down major events (first smile,turning over,crawling,etc) on it.You'll never remember when all those things happened after a few years(hard to believe, i know!)

THen don't throw it out one fine spring clean like i did

JOIN MUMSNET

if breastfeeding, have a bf diary. It's all too easy to get confused about which boob you used last. Will also help settle into to some sort of feeding routine.

PS great Idea - could become a best seller

Don't forget to mention the baby blues, crying a couple of days after the birth does not mean you've got post natal depression

If things aren't aren't going well, don't feel like a failure...everyone says "you know your own baby best" and "follow your instincts" but sometimes you haven't got a clue what to do and don't feel as if you've GOT any maternal instincts, and nothing seems to work....don't worry, it will pass, it's OK.

I'm a big fan of slinging too, but not all babies like them (mine hated hers until she was 6 months old), and a long walk in the pram on a bumpy path was the best way to get her to sleep on those bad days. The fresh air was good for me too!

"if breastfeeding, have a bf diary. It's all too easy to get confused about which boob you used last."

a hair band around the wrist works well too.

Stay in your PJs for at least 10 days.

Cuddle your baby and stay in bed the two of you while someone else looks after you, so you can focus on the baby.

Trust your instincts.
Relax and enjoy.
Get good help from the start with establishing b/f'ing.
Sleep when you can. Housework can always be done tomorrow.
Do not allow nocturnal deafness to develop in DP.
Keep a record of all the little good bits - its amazing what you forget. My eldest is 8 and I still add to my 'Happy Book'.

It is amazing to have a baby! It is probably the only time that a new person comes into your life and just after a few days or weeks you simply cannot imagine your life without him/her. Amazing!

So many previous answers i wish i had known 7 months ago! Don't feel silly taking 1000's of photos it is vital!!
Make a rule that any visitors in the first month have to:
a)make their own cup of tea
b)ask how YOU are
c)bring you chocolates/wine/flowers

Be adaptable, as you have no idea how you'll feel. Don't say "I'll never..."
I announced when pregnant to all who would listen that I wouldn't be using any pain relief, would be having my baby at home, wouldn't use disposable nappies, wouldn't use dummies, would exculusively bf for 6 months, would go for an hour long walk with the pram every day....
Well, had an epidural, forceps delivery, never used my cloth nappies once, couldn't imagine not using dummies, stopped bf after 3 months, and think I'm doing well if I go over the road to the shops!! And gave myself such a hard time for all my 'failures'.
By far the most important thing to me was having a friend at the end of a phone, and by the sounds of it she has a lovely friend in you

I really wish i had listened when people told me that after a couple of hours or so of being awake the baby is likely to be tired (not always but pretty much happens for most babies at first) and then i might have made some attempt to get her to sleep. Instead i assumed she would go to sleep when she wanted and she ended up getting totally overtired. So my tip would be - until you know your babies and his/her signals for being tired, assume that after a couple of hours of being awake they are likely to be tired and give getting them to sleep a bit of a go! Might help get you some sleep. The other one is go to sleep when baby does- your body needs time to get over the birth and the housework really will wait....

totally agree with last poster. tbh it was a while before he could go more than 2 hrs without getting tired.

Get baby used to other family members from as early as possible, I now have a happy little boy who adores his GParents and Uncle so we get babysitting without tears (mine or his)!

Don't worry about your baby not knowing who oyu are and feel that you have to do everything! I went back to work, didn't BF and he gets babysat frequently and he STILL prefers me over others when he is upset and his face lights up when I come home!
(he also holds his arms out and grins to his childcarer and Grandma/dad/uncle)

Stock up on savoy cabbage!
(See breastfeeding thread to see why)

Be open minded! and never say never