What's the best advice you could give a new mum?

[VickyLouise]

Hello everyone,
My best friend is having her first baby in a couple of months time and I want to make her a really nice book full of mum's tips for surviving your first child.
Does anyone have any pearls of wisdom that I could include?

Don't worry about baby losing weight after birth.
Breastfeeding doesn't come naturally for you or the baby - practice makes perfect.
Write lists if you want to remember things.

I agree with previous note about housework - I never did much before so I won't feel guilty about letting it slide!

Have confidence in yourself as a Mum - remember no-one knows your little baby better than you. Trust your instincts!

Mum knows best and YOU are the mum so trust your instincts

ps - what a nice thing to do!!!!

your baby is an individual, do not expect it to do the same as anyone or anything else!

YOU are an individual,ditto

Will watch thread for news of baby's arrival, will tell won't you! want to know her response to your kind thread!

The best advice i can give to a new mum is to look after yourself,so that in turn you can look after your new baby.Dont worry about the housework and accept all offers of help from friends and family,also do make sure you eat regular meals,and have a little nap when baby is sleeping to catch up on sleep lost at night .Good luck to you all enjoy your babies.

I just wanted to add my bit to those many people who say to 'sleep when your baby does'.

I would change this to 'rest when your baby does'. When you are really sleep deprived and over-tired, you can become obsessed with the idea of sleeping - you can then feel like you 'have to sleep' whenever you get chance and this in itself can prevent you from dropping off.

I had PND which interfered with me being able to drop off to sleep and I remember getting very anxious about it. I had become a bit fixed on the constant advice from my MIL to 'sleep when baby sleeps'. The best advice I had was from a wise and lovely midwife, who told me to lie down or put my feet up and rest whilst babe slept, but not to worry if I didn't sleep as my body would never let me become so sleep-deprived that I became ill. That took the pressure off and I always felt a lot better and sometimes did manage to get off to sleep.

Sorry this is a bit long-winded, but I hope it helps someone like it did me.

P.S. My other tip would be: do something just for yourself every day. Make a list of them now and get into the habit - it makes you feel human!

There are some real peaches here, but the only advice I would give to an expectant mum: be prepared for your baby's arrival, get everything you'll need in advance. That way you can relax and enjoy them when they come along.

Oh and mums don't wash nappies, washing machines do! Give cloth nappies a try and you'll never go back to paper ones. They are kinder to your pocket, kinder to the world (the world your child will inherit) and most of all kinder to your babies skin.

I've now been a mum for 27 days... agree with a lot of the advice here, mainly:

1. Expect to spend about 8 hours a day feeding. It sounds silly but I didn't realise before I had DS the sheer amount of time you spend feeding

1. It is hard at first but even now it's easier than at the beginning. It's a learning rollercoaster, you just have to go with it

1. Definitely agree on getting DH/DP as involved as possible: though it is agonising watching them do something ineptly they need to learn

1. You will be amazed at how jumpy you feel with other people holding the baby: I really don't like it!

1. Anything which helps you retain your sense of perspective (10 minutes of exercise, walk outside, talk on the phone) is really good, because time seems to go slowly and you worry about things which blow over so quickly, then regret having worried and missed out on enjoying LO

1. I have personally found that a routine of bigger feeds, not just feeding every time the baby cries, has got him really settled and feeding well.. I'd be wary of feeding every time s/he cries because it can get them all colicky to be feeding constantly.

1. try and see the funny side!

best peice of advice I was ever given: buy all your babies socks in the same colour.

Get a cleaner: best £20 odd pounds you will EVER spend.
Get on with your life

Oh, and take a photo at LEAST every week - it will fly by, and while you are a blur you will need something to remember

Havent read all of the others but mine would be

Don't keep quiet when they are sleeping, that way they will sleep through anything.....almost

Don't be afraid to ask for help with anything and everything

Have as many cuddles as humanly possible

It is impossible to take TOO many piccies

And last but definately not least

Keep regular MN contact!!!!!!!

Buy her Rachel Cusk's book "A life's work - On becoming a mother" one of the best descriptions of life after birth.

Admittedly haven't read through all of these so sorry for any repetition, but... don't even think of not buying colic drops ready for those middle of the night emergencies and have steribottles and ready made milk in the house and in the changing bag at all times! Also, you can't give too many cuddles and I really wish I'd jotted down the milestones, my friend kept a diary for each of her 3 children from finding out she was pregnant to now and she says it's great!

Its not always a "big shock" and its not always a case of your life seemingly changing completely - sometimes, its just a natural progression to the next stage, after 9 months anticipation.

You may even surprise yourself with how energetic, invigorated and completely normal you feel afterwards...

At the same time, don't worry if it is a shock, or if it takes weeks to resume a compis mentis state...!

Stay in your PJ's for as long as possible, don't put on a brave face and don't try to be supermum/ perfect earth mother. And social work won't be called out if you use diposibles, let baby cry, have a messy house, feel like shit, can't cope or want to run away.

Oh and don't listen to all the advice every man and his dog will want to give you .

Dont try and be quiet when their sleeping or worry about the phone waking them up etc. I can hoover around the baby & he even slept through the smoke alarm when I burnt something in the kitchen! Im a very light sleeper and anything wakes me up - I didnt want him to be the same!

Oh and dont get a puppy 2 weeks before the baby is due! How thick am I but she was so cute! actually worked out ok but not one of my best ideas!