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What's the best advice you could give a new mum?

248 replies

VickyLouise · 31/07/2006 17:02

Hello everyone,
My best friend is having her first baby in a couple of months time and I want to make her a really nice book full of mum's tips for surviving your first child.
Does anyone have any pearls of wisdom that I could include?

OP posts:
Are your children’s vaccines up to date?
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sparklemagic · 31/07/2006 18:39

If you have a dh / dp; don't take all the responsibility for the parenting. Let him do some as well both to give you a break and to give him a deep bond with his baby as well.

Sometimes it can seem as if mum is all the baby needs but don't let him be put off, always give them time on their own together; I've read stories on here where the men are living more or less as single men, with the children thing going on 'around' them but nothing to do with them. When I look at how much my DS needs his dad, enjoys his dad, and the different things he gets from his dad, I'm so glad that we do the parenting TOGETHER.

obviously don't include this if she is to be a single mum!

cece · 31/07/2006 18:49

I asked DH and he said tell her DP to just say yes dear to anything she says

I would say use a grobag.

Buy more maternity pads than you think you will need.

Let your DH be involved without hovering over him and criticising

SlightlyFamiliarPeachyClair · 31/07/2006 18:52

I read somewhere that the parenting roles are established for life in the first six weeks

So don't let him get way with it

foxinsocks · 31/07/2006 18:53

enjoy those lazy sunday mornings reading the paper and catching up on your sleep (hollow laugh)

also remember, overtiredness is the enemy with babies

actually, what I would say is try and join an antenatal group or meet up with friends who are pregnant - not so much because of what you can learn in advance but because it's nice to have someone else to go on long walks with once the babies are born and have someone else who can totally understand/symapthise with the way you are feeling!

schneebly · 31/07/2006 18:55

You know your baby better than anyone else so trust your instincts.

SmokeMeAKipper · 31/07/2006 19:07

have bookmarked this thread for future reference... keep them coming!

fullmoonfiend · 31/07/2006 19:11

The umbrella of 'normal' development and behaviour is HUGE, so don't listen to others if they try and tell you your baby should or shouldn't be doing something. You will know when to really worry.

Savour every moment of cuddling your sleeping child - the warm, fuzzy thoughts may just pull you through the 23.5 hours when he/she isn't sleeping

SlightlyFamiliarPeachyClair · 31/07/2006 19:15

Avoid commpetitive parent types, they will wear you down

The most important Mummy tool isn't access to an organic butcher or a LuLu Guinness changing bag, it's a sense of humour and a soft pillow

Babies are like handbags and you can take them anywhere- now, toddlers.....!

intergalacticwalrus · 31/07/2006 19:19

It's ok to have a cheeky glass of wine at 3pm if it's all getting too much

Katymac · 31/07/2006 19:21

Out of every 6 eighteen year olds

1 won't drive
1 won't smoke
1 won't take drugs
1 won't be earning a living
1 won't have a boy/girl friend
1 won't be living at home

so why you expect 6 3month olds to be at the same stage of development

doobydoo · 31/07/2006 19:26

Purchase many,many many Muslin Squares they are very useful
And yes it is ok to have a sneaky glass of Vino[before the sun is over theyardarm!]

intergalacticwalrus · 31/07/2006 19:28

Also, strock up on trashy books/DVDs to help you while the long hours of feeding that you will go through.

kittywits · 31/07/2006 19:32

buy an amby natures nest hammock

SherlockLGJ · 31/07/2006 19:38

I hope my children look back on today
And see a mother who had time to play
Children grow up while you're not looking
There'll be years ahead for cleaning and cooking
So quiet now, cobwebs, dust go to sleep.
I'm rocking my baby, and babies don't keep.

LaDiDaDi · 31/07/2006 19:48

Ooh LJG you just made me cry! Or perhaps it was the combination ofyou and my second glass of wine .

LaDiDaDi · 31/07/2006 19:52

Ooops! I meant LGJ of course. That wine's really getting to me.

DollyP · 31/07/2006 19:57

they just get better and better! Just when I thought DD couldn't get more interesting and fun, she does!

Sleep as much as possible, accept any help offered and ENJOY IT. It goes so quickly so savour every moment.

I wish too I'd written more down. My memory is shot to pieces and I can only remember when DD did certain things very approximately. Take lots of photos too.

This is a lovely idea Vickylouise .

kittywits · 31/07/2006 20:09

also start a diary of their development. i have done one for each of mine. it's not a day to day thing but a developmental or event thing, like teeth, sounds, sleep, feeds. it's so easy to forget and i really like having records to compare how each one was at a particular stage

BettySpaghetti · 31/07/2006 20:11

Don't cut the labels off all those soft toys as babies love to play with and stroke them.

If you want to go to bed at 7pm, do it! Forget the housework, washing etc. Just sleep when you can.

Encourage your DP/DH to take an active role and to take baby for a walk, bath them etc alone so they are confident and it gives you time-off

potoroo · 31/07/2006 21:02

Its okay to stay in your pyjamas all day.

Try to get out of the house every day if you can - even for a walk around the block (with or without baby as necessary). It makes you feel better.

When you think you are the only person in the world awake at 3am with a crying bub, remember that there are thousands of other new parents doing the same thing (just see how many mumsnet threads are still active at that time!)

Kiskidee · 31/07/2006 21:09

When people come over to coo over your baby, send them to the kitchen to boil the kettle to make themselves a cup of tea and keep the biscuits next to the kettle. That way you can ask them to get the same for you.

if you want to be cheeky, ask them to do the washing up too.

Amiable · 31/07/2006 22:22

Sleep when the baby sleeps - sod the housework!
Remember to be "selfish", ie, get partner/hubby/friend/neighbour/whoever to look after the baby while you enjoy a long bath.
Buy some gorgeous smelling body lotion (or even better, get someone else to buy it for you!) - even if you're not keen on the shape or size you are at the moment at least you'll like the way you smell!
Read whichever books you want to, listen to all the advice you want to - but remember NO-ONE knows your baby as well as you do. do not under any circumstances feel that you "should" be parenting one way or another - what feels right for you and your family IS right.

schneebly · 31/07/2006 22:23

tesco nappies are great.

Amiable · 31/07/2006 22:24

Oh yes, and definitely the phone numbers for breastfeeding counsellors - it's one thing I really wish I had had more support with!

singersgirl · 31/07/2006 22:34

Definitely the Grobag.

When your baby is 3 or 4 days old and you milk comes in and the baby wants to feed for 50 minutes every hour all through the night and you are crying with exhaustion and think it can't possibly be supposed to be like this, remember it will pass. In 24 hours you will be flowing with wonderful milk and your baby will fall asleep with a milky dribble on its chin.