What's the best advice you could give a new mum?

[VickyLouise]

Hello everyone,
My best friend is having her first baby in a couple of months time and I want to make her a really nice book full of mum's tips for surviving your first child.
Does anyone have any pearls of wisdom that I could include?

Keep the hoover out in the middle of the hall or lounge, permanently plugged in. That way, any visitors will think you are amazing coz you are doing housework.

good point themoon and if your really cheeky, which is always a good idea , ask them to do a bit of hoovering

Bulk buy cotton wool balls! You won't believe how many you go through in the first weeks!

You can get vests from Mothercare, that are like little jackets with Velcro fastenings ? which are a lot easier to put on than bodysuits and less scary, as you don?t have to put them over your screaming baby?s head.

Have some ready made formula milk in for when your milk hasn?t come through, you?re exhausted, have a crying baby and are at your wits end about what to do ? your baby isn?t going to forget from one feed how to latch on to your breast - don?t feel bad for using it.

If you find you have to give up on the breast feeding, don't feel bad, it doesn't make you a failure...

Whatever you choose to do, don't feel guilty about it.

Never say no to an offer of help and don't be afraid to ask.

Spend the whole day in your pyjamas, if you feel like it!

If things get too much, get out of the house and go for a walk. It puts a different perspective on things.

If you have time, before the birth, freeze a few meals ready to eat in the few weeks after your little one arrives.... OR save up some money and just get takeaway!!! There'll be many times you just won't feel like cooking.

Buy birthday cards/presents etc. for a few months in advance and get them all ready to give/post. Buy some thank you notes, too.

Breastfeed if you can (once you get past the first 6 weeks it is worth it) If you can't don't stress about it.

Sounds strange given my first tip but get the baby on one bottle a day from very early on so you can have a break and so he/she doesn't reject it later.

Use grobags as soon as you can.

Sleep when you can.

Be tolerant to your partner and vice versa, you will need each other.

Enjoy your baby, it is a cliche but it really does go fast.

When a newborn baby is rooting for b/milk, it doesn't necessarily mean they want feeding yet again for the nth time that morning. It's one of the only actions they know how to do, therefore they make good use of it. Judge your instincts, you'll know if your baby needs more food.

Take a very deep breath and smell your baby. Then repeat. Then again and again until you can't take in any more of their beautiful smell.

You can never give your baby too many kisses/cuddles.
Sign up for all the freebies/money off vouchers you can,
Sod the housework and accept all the help you can.
When well meaning people (ie, mil and any old ladies you meet) give you advice, smile, nod and then glaze over - worked for me!
Try to time your shopping trips after a feed then hopefully you little darling will fall asleep - if not and they scream, carry on regardless!
~If you feel at the end of your tether - put the baby in the cot where you know they are safe and then just walk away and be on your own in another room for a few minutes.
Loads more but not more time - dd back from nursery in 5 mins and no tea on yet!!!

You can never give your baby too many kisses/cuddles.
Sign up for all the freebies/money off vouchers you can,
Sod the housework and accept all the help you can.
When well meaning people (ie, mil and any old ladies you meet) give you advice, smile, nod and then glaze over - worked for me!
Try to time your shopping trips after a feed then hopefully you little darling will fall asleep - if not and they scream, carry on regardless!
~If you feel at the end of your tether - put the baby in the cot where you know they are safe and then just walk away and be on your own in another room for a few minutes.
Loads more but not more time - dd back from nursery in 5 mins and no tea on yet!!!

stop buying stuff, you only need about 30% of it

Haha the moon, that hoover one is hilarious. MIL lives down the road so sad thing is I know I`m definitely going to use that particular piece of advice. Might impress DH too!
Sakura (32 weeks + 3 days

Trust yourself - your instincts are good and you won't harm your baby if you don't follow every single one of the 'official' guidelines.

If it gets in the way of loving and enjoying your baby or your partner then dump it - nothing else is as important.

Don't buy any lotions or creams, other than Lansinoh (for your nipples) and olive oil or almond oil (for the baby's skin).

Newborns do not have lovely clear silky skin, so don't worry if it looks like a lizard for the first few weeks (that's what the oil is for).

Rest!

And always remember: you're amazing !

check if your supermarket does online deliveries. far easier than trying to do a big shop inbetween feeds and once you've done it once it remembers what you bought last time so it gets quicker and quicker. means you don't have to worry about not getting a mum and baby car park space or how you'll fit the shopping in the car plus the pram.

Hmmm best advice i could give is... Next time use a condom

go walking! its a great way of getting babies to sleep, gives you a bit of me time to clear your head, gives you and baby lots of fresh air and is a good way of keeping fit (sort of) and is cheaper than putting them in the car to sleep. i do it with mine all the time! Also don't bother dressing them in anything but front fastening sleepsuits for the first few weeks, they are warm, comfortable and easy to get on and off, new babies just look a bit daft in their tiny outfits anyway!

not got time to read, so sorry if repeating.....

going on my last five mins with mine...

DON'T HAVE ANY MORE, AND IF YOU DO, DON'T HAVE FIVE!!!!

any help!!!

love mine really!!!!

• Buy baby stuff, especially clothes, on e-bay

- have your groceries delivered i.e shop online - if you can afford to, get a cleaner - buy lots of vests/sleepsuits so ypu don't have to wash everyday - get a CD with nursery rhymes to sing along - lifesaver if baby is colicky when a bit older, also get some COLIEF just in case - join some activity to meet other mums - hang musical mobile over the cot - consider co-sleeping if b/f and you are non-smokers/ don't drink much and are light sleepers - if you think something is wrong, don't wait but seek help straight away because babies can deteriorate very quickly

Tell your friend not to believe that everything you're told about labour in your ante-natal classes is going to happen to you.

I was told I would start contracting slowly and that the pain would build slowly. Then I would tootle off to hospital when the contractions were 3 mins apart. My waters would probably break in the latter stages of the pregnancy or the midwife would break them for me. I was told if I breathed really well and didn't panic I might even have my baby without painkillers.

The reality was my waters broke with bleeding at 10pm. I practically had to beg the hospital to let me come in. An hour later I started contracting every 3 minutes with diarrhoea in between. This went on for 6 hours by which time I was exhausted and asked for epidural. 24 hours later, after failed ventouse and forceps, I had emergency CS. DS was back2back, had swallowed meconium and had cord wrapped round neck twice.

I have a BEAUTIFUL son as a result but I just wish the midwives had been more clear that the textbook labour doesn't happen to everyone.

book a hairdresser to come to your house so you can have a treat in you rown home plus it will make you feel great and you dont have to set out side the door!
bulk cook casseroles etc and freeze them so you dont have to cook..micro them and yippee a proper cooked home made meal... get tesco/asda home delivery order plus before the birth stock up on shopping basic items etc...lots of water or juice to drink, if breastfeeeding you will get VERY thirsty.. i would drink a pint every feeed... up your protein intake by a third as you need more protein in the first three months...that is if your breastfeeding.. organise a cleaner to come in once a week/fortnight just to keep on top of things.. i remember desperately feeling the need to clean with all the visitors coming but got so knackered i ended up in a tearful mess trying to clean the bathroom!!! get hubby to participate fully...
go out as tiny babies are easily portable!!! switch answer machine on whilst sleeping!! have the mobile near you when feeding ..it gets boring sitting there for ages feeding without someone to chat to!! dont worry it they feed constantly.

Before the birth, make sure the washing machine is in good nick and buy about three months' supply of washing powder. Then, when the baby is one week old, send your partner out for another three months' supply. This quantity will now be known as "one week's supply".

When the baby is about 2 weeks old, it may become very unsettled in the evenings, and want to feed and cry continuously for several hours. This is normal, it usually settles down by 3 months old and does not necessarily mean colic, even if your mum and MIL insist it does.

Surpirse nobdies suggested this - but Mumsnet advice is already distilled in the books "Mums on Babies" and "Mums on Pregnancy". Help Mumsnet by buying them here .

My other bit of advice is what my best friend told me - and some mums on Mumsnet would be hooriefied, while others would agree: make sure to go out without the baby within a few weeks of the birth. The longer you leave it, the harder it will be.

The best bit of advice I was given is to put the baby in their moses basket/cot at whatever time you want to set a bedtime in future. They get used to bedtime and it really worked for us. I will probably get lynched for this but I wanted to have the evenings to catch up with stuff.

do what you want its yourbaby and if you want to wrap it for sleep/bottle feed/dye its hair pink thats your choice

Just remembered this, told to me by a little old lady in the supermarket:

"Appreciate them while they are little - it goes by sooooo quickly".

You think you've understood, but you only realise once they are bigger that you didn't fully apprecaite how quickly they get bigger, and unless you have another one, you can't "learn your lesson"