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Original poster

Women choosing not to drive anymore...

235 replies

LakesDad · 09/01/2025 16:36

Is this the new normal? I seem to know quite a few women who have passed their driving tests and got cars but simply decide not to drive or if they do then certainly never on a Motorway.
Two are sisters of mine, and one of my sons has a new girlfriend who passed her test first time, owns a car but refuses to drive and relies on family members to ferry her to work etc (she works as a dentist).
All these women I know are competent, have professional jobs etc and quite confident personalities but when it comes to driving feel it is too 'stressful' and one says they don't want to hurt anyone...(none of them have crashed or hurt anyone by the way).
On the whole most blokes I know including me, love driving and are always happy to do so (thankfully my wife loves driving and is very independent) but never driving, especially when you live in a rural location has lots of unwanted knock on effects especially when local public transport is crap.
Is this a new trend in women or is my experience more of a one off?...

OP posts:
AnxiousRose · 09/01/2025 22:25

I think perimenopause increases anxiety in women and will cause driving anxiety in some.

I have anxiety driving and some of the comments here about non drivers are incredibly insensitive. It's not my choice to have driving anxiety and I would love not to have it. For this reason I would never live rurally. I do not rely on anybody to be my driver.

I think some people should worry less about what others can and can't do, especially someone who is not directly impacted on a regular basis by a non driver.

Titasaducksarse · 09/01/2025 22:27

I passed my test 3 months after my 17th birthday as I lived in a rural location and to have freedom you needed to.
As well as my car I drive our 3.5t campervan and have done in UK and abroad.
However if partner and I are out together he tends to drive as he prefers it to being a passenger plus it's then his fuel cost not mine lol.
I'd rather busy motorways than one lane country roads!

Wendolino · 09/01/2025 22:28

I've known a few women who fell into the habit of letting OH drive all the time then gradually they would stop driving altogether

onemorerose · 09/01/2025 22:59

I’m one who is increasingly stressed about driving on motorways, unknown areas and in the dark. I’m relieved actually that others find the new headlights utterly blinding. Is there any kind of register that can be signed to complain about this. Living rurally I can’t avoid driving in the dark at this time of year and most cars are fine but then suddenly I’m blinded, I’ve been contemplating a higher car in the hope that would help.

sunshineandshowers40 · 09/01/2025 23:01

Surely it is better for people to avoid motorways if they aren't comfortable on them?!

Fagled · 09/01/2025 23:02

CharityShopChic · 09/01/2025 18:22

What a load of nonsense.

In Scotland in winter its not light to 8.30 am - 9am, and often dark again by 3.30pm. So you'd not be "safe" driving to work, or home from work.

Show quote history

Yes, I life in Scotland, I don’t think it is safe. I certainly wouldn’t be driving then.

TriangleLight · 09/01/2025 23:03

I know loads of women like this. Always have. It’s not new.

It’s striking when driving in France that there are many more women driving the family car on the motorway, whereas that’s rare here.

Time to up your game!!

EasterIssland · 09/01/2025 23:03

If in town I don’t mind driving. Outside I prefer others to driver for me as I suffer from driving anxiety.
my mum had a small accident not long after her 18th and decided not to driver again. Same another friend of mine

EasterIssland · 09/01/2025 23:04

onemorerose · 09/01/2025 22:59

I’m one who is increasingly stressed about driving on motorways, unknown areas and in the dark. I’m relieved actually that others find the new headlights utterly blinding. Is there any kind of register that can be signed to complain about this. Living rurally I can’t avoid driving in the dark at this time of year and most cars are fine but then suddenly I’m blinded, I’ve been contemplating a higher car in the hope that would help.

I’ve a SUV (mazda cx5) I get blinded as well

Fagled · 09/01/2025 23:04

sanityisamyth · 09/01/2025 19:04

Why isn't it safe? That should be her decision.

Show quote history

I never said I’d stop them, personal liberty trumps all when they’re at an age old enough to drive.

I will not encourage it. Roads are too fast, too dark, headlights too bright. It is far too unsafe. What in the event of a breakdown?

NormaSnorks · 09/01/2025 23:06

AnxiousRose · 09/01/2025 22:25

I think perimenopause increases anxiety in women and will cause driving anxiety in some.

I have anxiety driving and some of the comments here about non drivers are incredibly insensitive. It's not my choice to have driving anxiety and I would love not to have it. For this reason I would never live rurally. I do not rely on anybody to be my driver.

I think some people should worry less about what others can and can't do, especially someone who is not directly impacted on a regular basis by a non driver.

This is a really important point - there is lots of evidence that menopausal symptoms impact women’s driving - especially around anxiety, hot flushes, brain fog etc.
I was an experienced and confident driver and then when I hit menopause it was as if someone had flicked a switch and it made me incredibly stressed.
I’ve worked hard to control and confront my anxiety and keep driving, but I find it utterly exhausting these days.

Fagled · 09/01/2025 23:07

TriangleLight · 09/01/2025 19:05

@Fagled Im assuming that’s a joke?

Why do you think it’s a joke?

TriangleLight · 09/01/2025 23:08

Fagled · 09/01/2025 23:04

I never said I’d stop them, personal liberty trumps all when they’re at an age old enough to drive.

I will not encourage it. Roads are too fast, too dark, headlights too bright. It is far too unsafe. What in the event of a breakdown?

Show quote history

This is bonkers. can’t be serious

Will you go in a car as a passenger?

PhilosophicalCheeseSandwich · 09/01/2025 23:09

My sister's chosen not to drive anywhere but to work and back (about 10 minutes from home). Even going to the next town is too much, and motorways are absolutely impossible because she's frightened. I think it's pathetic, poor BIL has to drive everywhere and long journeys are never shared.

TriangleLight · 09/01/2025 23:09

PhilosophicalCheeseSandwich · 09/01/2025 23:09

My sister's chosen not to drive anywhere but to work and back (about 10 minutes from home). Even going to the next town is too much, and motorways are absolutely impossible because she's frightened. I think it's pathetic, poor BIL has to drive everywhere and long journeys are never shared.

It is pathetic

Fagled · 09/01/2025 23:10

TriangleLight · 09/01/2025 23:08

This is bonkers. can’t be serious

Will you go in a car as a passenger?

Edited
Show quote history

With someone trusted? Yes. I would do my best to avoid the journey.

TriangleLight · 09/01/2025 23:11

This reply has been deleted

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Printedword · 09/01/2025 23:12

Neither DH nor I ever liked driving. We had an epiphany about it when we were in our 20s and decided not to own a car or drive for holidays. Environmentally, it's better too. But I would not go back and learn again even if cars were truly green and there was no road congestion.

TriangleLight · 09/01/2025 23:12

Fucking hell. This thread demonstrates why men think of women as lesser. I’m genuinely shocked

I bet everyone expects to get ferried around though

BeAzureAnt · 09/01/2025 23:13

I learned in the States and drove all the time. Driving here is much more difficult, and I don’t enjoy it whatsoever. I kind of do it with grim determination.

Icanflyhigh · 09/01/2025 23:15

Passed my test 29 years ago, wrote my first car off after 3 months and had an accident 12 months ago - not my fault but it has terrified me and I now find any excuse not to drive. I'm doubly screwed though as I'm a shocking passenger too and get incredibly nervous with anyone except DH.

SharpOpalNewt · 09/01/2025 23:16

I passed my test and drove regularly for a year or so, then went to university and didn't need a car there. I drove at home enough to keep my eye in. Then moved to London and didn't need to drive for years until I had DD1 and gradually had to build up and get confident again.. I've driven a fair bit ever since. Passed my test in 1994 and drove on the right in France last summer for the first time. I couldn't have done that when I was younger. Even so I was driving my own car. I'm not convinced I could do everything the other way round sitting on the other side. The idea of steering left handed while I change gear horrifies me.

Yerbumsaplum · 09/01/2025 23:33

Well I'm the only driver in our family, so I've no bloody choice. From motorways to local one track roads comprised entirely of blind bends and hills and the odd stray cow and runaway horse - you name it, I drive on it. DP couldn't be arsed learning despite many promises over the years. Not that I would have expected him to drive all the time, just enough to take the load off a bit. He's a terrible passenger too. He can't learn now because of the medication he's on. And anyway, you can't teach an old dog new tricks😅

VimesandhisCardboardBoots · 09/01/2025 23:42

Are they short? I've noticed a distinct correlation between short women and women who loathe driving. There's a distinct reduction in visibility when you're under 5 ft 2, that can lead to people being more uncomfortable driving.

Disturbia81 · 10/01/2025 00:03

In the under 40s I see a lot of men who don't drive but their partners do.