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Original poster

Women choosing not to drive anymore...

235 replies

LakesDad · 09/01/2025 16:36

Is this the new normal? I seem to know quite a few women who have passed their driving tests and got cars but simply decide not to drive or if they do then certainly never on a Motorway.
Two are sisters of mine, and one of my sons has a new girlfriend who passed her test first time, owns a car but refuses to drive and relies on family members to ferry her to work etc (she works as a dentist).
All these women I know are competent, have professional jobs etc and quite confident personalities but when it comes to driving feel it is too 'stressful' and one says they don't want to hurt anyone...(none of them have crashed or hurt anyone by the way).
On the whole most blokes I know including me, love driving and are always happy to do so (thankfully my wife loves driving and is very independent) but never driving, especially when you live in a rural location has lots of unwanted knock on effects especially when local public transport is crap.
Is this a new trend in women or is my experience more of a one off?...

OP posts:
SerenityNowInsanityLater · 09/01/2025 17:13

I live in London and cycle everywhere because I can and I’ve always cycled since I was a child. If I moved out of London to a village or small town, I’d probably drive. I don’t enjoy it though, if I’m honest. I like to keep moving (walking, cycling) or else I get a bit stressed. Sitting in bottleneck traffic is my idea of hell. And that pretty much describes London driving.

ItGhoul · 09/01/2025 17:13

It's not a gender thing. I think fewer people are choosing to drive for all sorts of reasons - expense, environment, whatever - but I don't think women in particular are suddenly deciding not to drive.

Arlanymor · 09/01/2025 17:13

I don't know any women who have passed their test and then not proceeded to drive. However I do know three women who don't drive at all - my sister and two women in work. Ages range from 30 - 44. I do know some women who are older and don't drive at night due to declining eyesight, but that's a different issue.

As a woman myself I love driving - passed my test at 17 - it's freedom isn't it? Plus often very enjoyable on lovely rural mountain roads with my tunes on.

Fagled · 09/01/2025 17:14

I do not drive on the motorway, or in the dark. I would not encourage my daughter to do so either, it’s not safe.

MJDecember24 · 09/01/2025 17:16

Yeah loads of my middle aged female friends wont drive, or will only drive to nursery/local shops. My DP has ADHD and never has a clue where he is going so I do all our long distance drives, and it is interesting how few women you see driving their male partners around. I think if you want a partner who drives, you need to share the drives. It's all about practice. And not sit there gripping the handles and pumping your foot on the footwell.

I should take my own advice.

Compash · 09/01/2025 17:16

Bear in mind that women may get more aggressive treatment on the road because that's what angry, cowardly men do... 😒

I know I'm getting more anxious generally as I age, and due to really bad astigmatism, I don't like to drive at night. But I also know that I have to keep practising and face down the anxiety - it's such a glorious thing to be able to up and off whenever you like! Freeeedooomm!

NormaSnorks · 09/01/2025 17:17

Headlight glare is a BIG factor in people choosing not to drive at night and there's actually now a project looking into the impact of it.
It's downright dangerous when you get temporarily blinded on a country road - it's long enough to cause a crash! I wish we could go back to the more gentle yellow hue headlights!
https://www.rac.co.uk/drive/news/motoring-news/government-commissioned-project-looking-at-dazzling-headlights-to-kick-off/

Government-commissioned project looking at dazzling headlights to kick off | RAC Drive

The Transport Research Foundation’s subsidiary, the TRL has begun its research into headlight glare, following contributions from the RAC. Read more today.

https://www.rac.co.uk/drive/news/motoring-news/government-commissioned-project-looking-at-dazzling-headlights-to-kick-off

GeekyDiva80 · 09/01/2025 17:17

I only know 2 men who don't drive because they panic, one lady has never gone for her drivers. But that's it in my circle.

Almostwelsh · 09/01/2025 17:17

My mum passed her test in her 20s and drove very rarely afterwards due to anxiety. I am now reluctant to drive at night due to eyesight issues, but I used to without bother so it's not anxiety related.

The only couple I know where one doesn't drive it's the man who doesn't. He just has no interest in driving and his wife seems happy to do all the driving.

ImNoSuperman · 09/01/2025 17:18

It's the women in my family who drive more than the men. All of my female cousins and siblings drive, only 2 of the 7 men do. I'm the only women with a partner who also drives.

TappyGilmore · 09/01/2025 17:23

I don’t know anyone who doesn’t drive, aside from my aunt who is in her 70s and has never learned to drive so that’s not a new thing. But I live in an area where you couldn’t manage without driving.

I avoid motorway driving for shorter trips because it is usually so congested that it takes longer than the normal road. Even if the motorway itself is clear it will take ages to actually get onto the motorway. It’s a source of great debate in this family! “The map says the motorway is quicker!” “But I know it isn’t!”

WhereYouLeftIt · 09/01/2025 17:26

I don't know any women who choose not to drive. I actually find it quite hard to imagine a woman with a licence choose not to drive, except for very specific and entirely personal reasons (e.g. eyesight issues).

Lessons are so damned expensive now, I can well imagine choosing not to learn if other means of transport (walk/cycle/bus/train/taxi/Uber) would be adequate. A good half of DS's circle (age 25ish) have chosen not to drive but it's a fairly even m/f split.

GetyourheadoutoftheovenIris · 09/01/2025 17:28

Vaginas don’t tend to get in the way of driving hth.

Thursdaygirl · 09/01/2025 17:28

I don’t know anyone who doesn’t drive, aside from my aunt who is in her 70s and has never learned to drive so that’s not a new thing. But I live in an area where you couldn’t manage without driving.

Same here We have occasional public transport in my area!

Bluelagoondrmr · 09/01/2025 17:30

I think it is a thing but more people not learning. I'm always surprised on the number of posters who say in a post that they don't drive. I can't imagine not driving , but to quite a few posters it's the norm for them.

Solaire18381 · 09/01/2025 17:30

It's always happened as far as I knew. I know of several women who passed their test but don't drive, their DH's drive instead. One came unstuck when something happened to him and she got someone to sell the car for her, takes the bus everywhere now instead.

Also a few years ago now, I had an Aunt who would never drive, although she had a licence. Same story, wherever they went, Uncle always drove.

Work with someone who won't drive on motorways or in the dark, in her 30's. Goes as far as a couple of miles to work and to the local shop. Anything more taxing, her BF does it.

Gumbo · 09/01/2025 17:31

I don't know any men who have a driving license but refuse to drive, but I know 2 women who do this so possibly it's a thing?

I love driving, I've driven hundreds of thousands of miles in my life so I can't imagine why anyone wouldn't want to drive...and where I live public transport is pretty non existent so presumably non-drivers make other people ferry them around, which I would imagine could get annoying quite quickly...

ParsnipPuree · 09/01/2025 17:32

I'm in my 50's and a few women I know won't drive on motorway/in dark but no not in 30's! Don't think that's a thing.

MyNewLife2025 · 09/01/2025 17:38

I know one woman like you describe.
She isn’t relying on anyone though. Just uses the train instead.

Everyone around her also thinks it’s weird.

Solaire18381 · 09/01/2025 17:39

I think type/size of vehicle can be a thing for some people too. My SIL is happy to drive short distances in her tiny VW UP! But won't touch the BMW, is quite happy only being a passenger in the latter. Also leaves all car maintenance & service issues, including minor things such re-fueling and adding water/air etc to him where both cars are concerned.

Lemonade2011 · 09/01/2025 17:39

I drive, on the motorway and at night, have done for 20 years. In what way is it not safe? Given here I am, safe, well and in one piece? How do women get to work then? Or shouldn’t they work? I drive a small car / mini
I’m not bullied as someone said. The job I do means there isn’t public transport and it would take forever if I did try. And probably less safe tbh. All the people I work with are female, we all drive and at night/in dark/on motorways. It would be so so limiting for me if I didn’t.

wizzywig · 09/01/2025 17:40

I know some and read it here every so often. I'm an unsympathetic cow and so couldn't deal with having to be dependent on other people for something I can do myself. Maybe they like making a man or their friends feel useful?

BunnyLake · 09/01/2025 17:40

A friend has driven for thirty years but won’t do motorways. I don’t drive anymore as I hated it and really don’t need a car. I’m not good at processing lots of info at once so driving was very stressful for me.

I really don’t understand why anyone would live rurally and not drive though. I always live in towns.

TeenLifeMum · 09/01/2025 17:41

In my world it’s only dmil who chooses not to drive due to her anxiety and even when she did it was never in the dark/rain or going backwards 🙈 probably best she not drive. Also hates public transport and is nervous about dfil driving because he gets tired (maybe because he has to do all the driving!)

Twiglets1 · 09/01/2025 17:41

At least 3 of my friends are like this and say they aren't confident enough to drive at night or on motorways (we're all in our 50s but I believe they have been the same for years). I think it's weird too. I wouldn't like to become over reliant on my husband to do all the driving and neither would he!

We take turns if driving at night, especially where alcohol is involved.