Women choosing not to drive anymore...

[LakesDad]

Is this the new normal? I seem to know quite a few women who have passed their driving tests and got cars but simply decide not to drive or if they do then certainly never on a Motorway.
Two are sisters of mine, and one of my sons has a new girlfriend who passed her test first time, owns a car but refuses to drive and relies on family members to ferry her to work etc (she works as a dentist).
All these women I know are competent, have professional jobs etc and quite confident personalities but when it comes to driving feel it is too 'stressful' and one says they don't want to hurt anyone...(none of them have crashed or hurt anyone by the way).
On the whole most blokes I know including me, love driving and are always happy to do so (thankfully my wife loves driving and is very independent) but never driving, especially when you live in a rural location has lots of unwanted knock on effects especially when local public transport is crap.
Is this a new trend in women or is my experience more of a one off?...

I drive a Peugeot 108 and have never felt harassed or bullied. Sometimes people drive like twats around me but don't ever think it's aimed at me. Never been beeped for keeping to the speed limit either. Where are you driving?

I drive a little 1l city car and an SUV. Definitely get bullied sometimes when I'm in the little car and nobody ever gives me any shit when I'm in my black mini tank.

The point is, those women who opt out are actually quite privileged. They have public transport. They live in an environment but for pedestrians. They have someone else to do their driving. Those who have to soldier on manage fine.

Above all, they live in a society where not driving due to feeling nervous about it is considered very unusual. I think it's simply acceptable for women in some societies to express nervousness about traditionally male activities - driving at speed/ in larger vehicles, hard sciences, mathematics, etc., to the point where this is actually a marker of femininity. What is acceptable as a marker of femininity in one society would be looked askance at in another.

I've been through the menopause and so have all my friends. We meet up frequently and not once has the question of giving up driving for any reason come up yet. Some of them have older husbands (late 60s or early 70s), and a few of these men have developed medical problems that have made driving unwise (seizures, serious vision problems, one has had a stroke).

I actually prefer to drive because my husbands driving is bad. He has had several bumps and actually hit a stationary police car so had to have a medical and re-apply for his license. He now has been passed to drive but I won’t let him. I just don’t feel safe with him behind the wheel anymore

Or the women who opt out are making a calculated judgement based on a set of changing abilities?
If a woman who has been happily driving for thirty years suddenly decides to limit or stop then it's not going to be about 'nervousness' about something that's seen as a traditionally male activity is it? (That's more relevant to young women who think they can't drive so never learn).

As you said before, YMMV... Your menopause experience is relevant to you, and you only, and mine to me.

My point to the OP was that there's plenty of evidence which suggests that physiological changes in a woman's (and yes, #notallwomen 🙄) later life can affect her ability to feel safe/competent driving. And if that's not something you have personally experienced then lucky you, but that doesn't negate the validity of the experiences of others.

Both my DH and I both still drive, but on balance I'd say he is now the more consistent and comfortable driver, and like the OP he loves driving, so he probably does 60-70% of the driving when we go out together. If he forgets his glasses, drinks alcohol or has problems with his knee (recurrent) then I will drive, but without much enjoyment.
It's a practical allocation of tasks, based on ability and preference, not some weird expression of 1950s Trad Wifedom!

Bullshit. Practically everyone I know drives. Comes from living in a small town

I have never liked motorway driving and avoid it where possible. A roads are just fine. But yes, as a pp said there is a degree of privilege - I can get a train easily, I don't need to drive for work and can walk and cycle where I live as well. And DH is ok with motorway driving. I do the driving in unknown towns as I am fine with that and he is less keen. I'm also good at navigation so don't get worried about going the wrong way which seems to worry an awful lot of people to a disproportionate degree. The worst that can happen is that you have to turn round somewhere.

I also think a lot of women have heightened anxiety during peri menopause.

Interestingly my son is now home from uni and goes to a gym in the next town. He came home the other night moaning about the overbright headlights and said he'd go in the daytime when he could in future.

I also have to drive in the dark despite not liking it because DH's eyesight isn't up to it. But neither of us like it so we avoid it where possible other than local journeys.

why would someone buy a car pay tax insurance etc on it and not use it this makes zero sense also the expense of driving lessons etc as well who ever does this has more money then sense

There have always been women who are scared of driving and on motorways. I don't think it's a new thing.