Women choosing not to drive anymore...

[LakesDad]

Is this the new normal? I seem to know quite a few women who have passed their driving tests and got cars but simply decide not to drive or if they do then certainly never on a Motorway.
Two are sisters of mine, and one of my sons has a new girlfriend who passed her test first time, owns a car but refuses to drive and relies on family members to ferry her to work etc (she works as a dentist).
All these women I know are competent, have professional jobs etc and quite confident personalities but when it comes to driving feel it is too 'stressful' and one says they don't want to hurt anyone...(none of them have crashed or hurt anyone by the way).
On the whole most blokes I know including me, love driving and are always happy to do so (thankfully my wife loves driving and is very independent) but never driving, especially when you live in a rural location has lots of unwanted knock on effects especially when local public transport is crap.
Is this a new trend in women or is my experience more of a one off?...

Why are so many women so happy to be dependent on men to drive them?

I drive lots and really enjoy it. I currently live in the US and have driven here the whole time, and last year on holiday in France I drove there. My 16-year-old daughter just passed her test and drove to Canada recently! I'm thankful she has her mother's chutzpah.

I know a few guys who lost their licenses due to drink driving or dangerous driving, and relied on their wives and girlfriends to ferry them around.

I don’t know a single woman who has lost her license. Most women I know, including me, quite enjoy driving and are happy to do so when they think it’s appropriate to drive. And several of us have passed advanced tests.

Is this a trend?

The trend thing is tongue in cheek - I do know women who won’t drive and some men too. I think as a culture we do still have gendered expectations over driving and that plays out in some of the stats. Men are about 15% more likely than women to hold a driving license, but only account for 1% more miles on the road than women do. So your experience of women having a license but refusing to drive seems unlikely to be reflective of the population in general. Men are also far more likely to have a serious accident on the road and injure or kill someone, so it’s possible that women who do refuse to drive are just more self aware than men and more able to understand the risk they pose.

I don't like driving at night as much as I used to do, I think its to do with my astigmitism and the brighter headlights. I have glasses for driving, but they don't do a lot of good. Other than that, I'm generally okay with motorway driving. I had an accident last December when a damn fool in his range rover hit me on a roundabout simply entering too fast and didn't stop in time. So my confidence is knocked a little there but I just tend to put my foot down and get across them as fast as possible.

I only drive now and then, but that's probably because I live in Central London.

I do have a car, it was my Mum's. I go out in it to the coast during the summer.

I wouldn't use it to drive in the middle of London, though, I would spend more time driving around looking for a space than at wherever I was going to!

I love driving, though, listening to R4 or music as I go along.

Having said that, I don't like driving long distances any more, I used to take traffic jams on roads such as the M6 in my stride, but I find it really wearing now. I tend to travel most of the way by train and then pick up a hire car at my destination.

I should say that I grew up in a rural area, though; if I still lived there, I would be driving every day. In the area where my late parents lived, there is no public transport and having a car is a must, to be honest. My Mum drove regularly until she became unwell.

Re the original question, it's worth looking at changes in driving habits generally. When I was a teenager, getting a driving licence was a goal for many people of my age, a kind of rite of passage. My understanding is that fewer young people are learning to drive today. The reasons are varied; for some, insurance is really expensive; others opt not to learn, because they live where Uber operates and don't feel that a car is necessary.

What a load of nonsense.

In Scotland in winter its not light to 8.30 am - 9am, and often dark again by 3.30pm. So you'd not be "safe" driving to work, or home from work.

I know of just as many non driving men as women in my circle.

I don’t particularly like driving on motorways because of other people’s bad behaviour, but if needs must then I will and I won’t let myself be intimidated.
I have a camera fitted and that gives me a sense of security.
Like others have said, night driving is difficult and stressful because of the ridiculous and blinding LED headlights.

I feel driving is a privilege and I prefer being the one in control.

Every single woman I know can drive. I literally don’t know any that don’t.

the only person I know currently not driving is a man on a drink drive ban.

I’ve never enjoyed driving and don’t think I’m good at it. I thought I would get more confident with time but sadly it hasn’t happened. Perimenopause has made me even more anxious. I had to take 5 tests before passing, I’m not naturally good at it.

The roads are just so busy there is too much to process all at the same time. One mistake could cause a serious accident. Every day on the traffic news there are reports of accidents.

I’m only 46 and seriously thinking about giving up my car. I’ve been getting Ubers because of the snow this week and absolutely loved it. So much less stressful.

I Iove to drive. Never had an accident eveer

I no longer drive because I have a medical condition that makes me feel unsafe to, despite being legally permitted to by the DVLA and my consultants as it doesn't cross the specific lines they have.

Some people judge me negatively for it, but I'm sure they'd judge me even more negatively if there was an accident because of it.

I know of several drivers that probably should reconsider their abilities and stop driving but they won't. Their sense of independence tops everything for them. Some of these are the same people who judge me for giving it up, which I think is the height of projection.

I do thousands of miles per year behind the wheel. My male next-door neighbour has a licence and refuses to own a car or drive, says the roads are too dangerous. Based on my completely-statistically-valid sample size of two people, I wonder why men are opting out of driving?

I always thought this was more for people of my parent's generation (70+ now), my mum learnt to drive as soon as she could and always has, although nowadays, at 81 with health issues, she doesn't go far. MIL was an appalling driver, you wouldn't have wanted her taking you on a motorway, but she managed to drive to work and do the school run and shopping.
I'm in my 50s and all my female friends and family of a similar age drive, all types of road and distances, day and night. My SIL won't drive abroad, that has never bothered me, although it does depend on where I am, France happy, even around Paris at the start of the summer holidays, 8+ lane freeways in the US, then I am not so keen.
I have driven in London since I passed my test, and living just outside the M25, I am often on there or the other major routes that you can take from it. The quality of driving has decreased in the last decade, especially since COVID-19, and if I am not cut up, aggressively overtaken, or some other unpleasant behaviour on a trip, it is a notable day. Some of it can be attributed to my car of choice (Audi SUV) which does bring out the worst in some (men), if I drive my Kia it is so different.
I will say that my DH also loves to drive, and if he wants to, then I'm happy to be the passenger until he wants a break.
I do remember when my DC were at school and there were events outside of our town, some mums were not able to drive as they only did local journeys or said they wouldn't be able to find it and trips out etc would only happen if their DH was available.
One of my DDs learnt to drive as soon as she was 17 and has driven everywhere since, the other didn't and then went off to a city uni, so she didn't see the need, she has now settled in another city with reasonable public transport, but is now learning as it will be so much more convenient.

Not a thing where I live, the only people I see giving up driving are often older people who no longer feel confident or develop eyesight/medical issues. My gran for example no longer likes to drive long distances in the dark because she finds new car headlights very bright and is worried about dazzling. Other than that she's a very confident driver, who in the past has driven large vehicles, towed over long distances and driven all over Europe. So I don't think that decision is anything to do with her being a woman.

Driving anxiety is a thing and people don't "choose" to have it because it's actually bloody annoying and infantalising. Not sure if it effects women more than men.

I passed my test 11 years ago and hardly ever drove, nightmares about car crashes etc. I ended up buying any automatic car 2 years ago and making myself drive regularly because I felt my kids were missing out on parties etc due to my inability to drive. I'd say I've now largely overcome it but I do get nervous again if I have a break from driving or have to go somewhere unfamiliar.

You'd have to prise my car keys out of my cold, hard hands. I drive everywhere, and I always offer to.

It's not you, it's the headlights.

https://www.rapideyewear.co.uk/index.php?id_product=686&rewrite=night-driving-overglasses-antiglare&controller=product works for me at night over my prescription glasses.

I know quite a few that won’t drive on the motorway, it’s frustrating as I have to cram kids into my car if we want to go anywhere that involves a motorway.

Not just in women - there are lots of posts on here about men who dont drive and wont learn or have learned but wont. I think it is a basic adult skill unless you live in the middle of a major city or have a health reason you cant do it. I think in general there is an uptick of people avoiding things which may feel difficult in some way and not doing them.

Non drivers are just a pain in the arse

*medical conditions exempted, of course

Why isn't it safe? That should be her decision.

🤣👏

@Fagled Im assuming that’s a joke?

I think all drivers get nervous in circumstances like these. I’m a very experienced driver, loads of miles a year, and still do. Respect to you for keeping driving

Yes I know lots of women who won't drive, won't drive on the motorway or at night or in bad weather. All ages too. I think they are being enabled though! For example, since my husband too early retirement he insists on driving me everywhere!

I won't drive on a motorway , I find a way round it, never liked them and make me feel anxious I've been driving 20 years now