New high = new low

[Todayillbebetter]

I am at my highest weight since being pregnant 10 years ago. I am 14 stone and 5ft 6.
I just couldn't stop eating/ bingeing and saw myself go above 12, 13 and now at 14 stone. All put on in a year - a stressful year.

I've resorted my fitbit, got the app and walked 5k yesterday and today with an aim to eat 1200 calories. But food is my mental comfort. Gah
I need new clothes now I'm too fat for everything I own.

That's the trouble with an "addiction" - it's really hard to give up/cut down on whatever it is, so you feel uncomfortable, so you turn to X for comfort, only that's the very thing you're not supposed to have.

I'm in the process of trying to find something else that soothes me and makes me feel emotionally better without resorting to calorie-laden treats. if you find something, let me know!

Yes I think you've hit the nail on the head there! It's incredibly difficult to find the same comfort in non-food pastimes.

Well done for starting. What else could you reward yourself with? Things that are instant/daily or maybe end of the week/month or when you lose some weight. It won’t be the same as food but there will be other things to look forward to.

I love new clothes, nice nails and hair. I will feel the reward once I start losing weight again. Except I feel I've gone too far and it's all out of control...3 stone is a lot to lose.

Can I join please? I'm at a new high (16 dto5ne and I'm 5 foot 8, yikes).

I can relate to your food as mental comfort description; that's most definitely me, too. And three stone minimum needs to go!

I'm starting calorie counting tomorrow using MFP, and need to increase my steps. I love walking but always have other things to do which take priority, so my reward each day will be a walk. A bit cheesy, I know, but I have a stressful job, so walking is really beneficial for this, and will focus me.

But I like the idea of a material reward, too!

So, if you want some company, count me in!

STONE obviously is what my fat fingers meant to type!

Yes I would love for anyone to join in! I'm just having to cut back and get the walking in and by Monday I'll have gotten a couple of days out out of the way. First step for me is to cut the sugar.
This usually results in near depression and anxiety but it does pass after a week.
It's the emotional side that's the most difficult isn't it?

I must buy a couple of work dresses this weekend so I have stuff to wear to work but I'm also going to dig out my lovely clothes that I'll need to lose about 2 stone to get back into. I must get these clothes to fit ..I have to do it!

Great! We can do it: No pressure, no judgement, just day at a time. Eat less, move more.

Well done of starting the ball rolling.

Wonderful, so let's post here once a day honestly, about the day we've had? I'm not really in a place to start until Monday as I have plans this weekend...I don't go back to work until September so my days are little sporadic.
September hails a whole new me though. I will not welcome in another new year desperately unhappy about being overweight 😐

I got your bavk: let's do the best we can factoring in holiday plans and summer stuff, with a view to getting on track in September?

Like you, I just can face it anymore...

Keep posting though, we may find it gets us in the mood!

puts hand up can I join in?

I have had an awful few years, and have yo-yo'd massively. Food and alcohol are crutches to me, and I end up in a vicious cycle. I have a bad day, reach for the wine, eat a load of crap, hate myself, repeat. This happens most days.

After loosing 3 stone on slimming world and being happy, I've managed to put 2 stone back on binging. Yesterday, I vowed to get my shit together as I don't want my kids to think that it's normal behaviour. And to address my anxiety I've seen the nurse practitioner and I've started beta blockers. And, I've been brutally honest with dh and myself. I'm so very lucky that he's incredibly supportive and non-judgemental.

I'm sat here in my running gear (busting out of it) and I'm going to my local Parkrun. I'm not a good runner but I've made a few friends there and everyone is so encouraging that I think it's a good place to start. Fitbit charged and ready!

Morning - yes please join. Your bingeing habit sounds just like me. Everyday being completely controlled by food.
We certainly cannot go on like this!
I must say, I feel very ashamed of myself. So impressed that you're up and ready for parkrun!
Let us know how you get on. I'm going out to do 5k walk in a bit as I'm not quite able to run yet. Good luck!

Hope everyone is ok! I have another day out tomorrow and then that's it! A new me. .. I will do this, no matter how dark and difficult things get. I will not stay fat. I can't do it anymore. ...
Hope everyone else is ok and feeling well

Waves to fern hey all. Sounds like we are finding strength in numbers!

We can and will do this: no judging, no Slimming World (unless you want to, I got banned, another story for another time!), just do your own thing in your own time approach. We have a common goal and we'll get there.

I am currently on holiday in a lovely part of the country with DP and DS. We have an amazing pool (like most fat girls I love swimming, the swim suit thing is a contradiction I know, but once in: man, I can move!).

Will try not to over eat and see this week as a healthy one, not an excuse to binge.

Keep posting.

Thrownmuse - have a fantastic time. Please don't worry about being in your costume. Mind you, my children have asked if I'll go in the pool with them tomorrow and I said my costume doesn't fit (cannot face it).
I owe it to them to lose weight and get back in the pool with them.

Thanks Today! Weather is typically miserable but we'll make the most!

I'm giving you the same advice! Get in the pool if you can face it...not easy, I know, when we feel so vulnerable!

Hi, can I join in please? Weight has been steadily increasing over the last few years due to evening binging, I’m ashamed to say I’m now almost 14 stone at 5’6”

Thrown I’m intrigued about why you’re banned from slimming world!

You are welcome here rock chick! We are a very similar weight. Can I ask how much you want to lose?

Well I have managed to jog 5k today after I didn't end up running Parkrun yesterday (I marshalled instead as they had a no-show). But then ate half a coffee and walnut cake.

I'm intrigued about about slimming world too thrown

I’m throwing my hat in! 3 stone to lose also, 5’8 and also on MFP. I find that busy weekends are the worst for me, I go to parties etc. And put on everything I lost that week. Vicious cycle! But I have a whole month now with no social activities to derail me before I go on a weekend away in September and would love to try and lose 8-10 pounds by then. Let’s do this ladies!!

Welcome! Great to have you.
Today is my start, my new beginning.
A new outlook on food.
I'm going to only eat when necessary. No snacking and sugary foods particularly as that's my downfall. Once I have one taste, I binge. It's completely compulsive.

Just need to get through this week ...
How is everyone else doing/ feeling?

Good luck! Once you get the sugar out of your system you will be on track I reckon.

I weighed in at 14:10 this morning, official start date. I need to be 11:10 for a healthy BMI so 3 stone exactly to go!

Trying ti think through why I do this - just a bad day sends me straight back to bingeing for weeks at a time. That cycle of 'who cares anyway' starts.

I'm trying to ignore the thoughts. But it is a way to both comfort and self harm myself. I know it's a little deep for this time of the morning.

However, that is why I've got this problem. If I starved myself people would be concerned and offer support. When people over eat they are chastised, judged, ridiculed, berated and the subject of disgust.

It's just another eating disorder that people like me (and perhaps some of us)are controlled by daily. The compulsion to eat and eat is overwhelming. I get fatter, hate myself more.
But here goes....I won't let it control me anymore . I will not let food control me.

It’s a tough one isn’t it. I found it very helpful listening to the ‘brain over binge’ podcast which explains that you have two brains- the normal brain, which is the real you, and the ‘other brain’ which is what controls the urges to eat badly. Once you get a handle on that idea it becomes easier, at least that’s what I found.

Just stay true to yourself and remember that eating is not what you really want- you want to be in control.