New high = new low

[Todayillbebetter]

I am at my highest weight since being pregnant 10 years ago. I am 14 stone and 5ft 6.
I just couldn't stop eating/ bingeing and saw myself go above 12, 13 and now at 14 stone. All put on in a year - a stressful year.

I've resorted my fitbit, got the app and walked 5k yesterday and today with an aim to eat 1200 calories. But food is my mental comfort. Gah
I need new clothes now I'm too fat for everything I own.

Sausage and mash for tea in our house. I’ve been fine until today - since Monday I’ve done 10k steps every day, been under calorie goals, and feeling good. Then today (day 4) and I feel awful - depressed, anxious, don’t want to leave the house. This happens every time I start a diet and it’s usually the reason I start eating crap again. Anyone else get this?

That's the way, Today! Real life situations handled realistically. Good going, you must be feeling pleased.

All good here, though feeling sad that it's our last night on holiday. I've not eaten badly at all though today, and DS and I did THREE hours of body boarding today. I didn't pack my wetsuit so had to brave the hire hut but being 6 million years older than the people who work there, even at my size I'm invisible. Exercise I can do, moderate eating I can not. But I shall! From Saturday!

So a final cheers from the West Country then catch up on Saturday.

How are others doing?

Yes, Rock, I do. I think for me it's a form of self-sabotage. What do you think it might be?

I hope you're feeling ok? Have you stayed on track or have you felt too anxious?

Hang in there rock chick! I get that too...more so in a week I know I will feel apprehensive and a anxious and give in.

We WILL NOT give in this time. Just take each day/ each hour as it comes. We're here for you.

Incredible exercise Thrown!!! Bloody brilliant stamina

Balls, I had a day when I thought "blow it!" And ate lots of rubbish. Anyway, a run tomorrow might get me back on track. Darn my fuddled brain, and the self sabotage!

I'm so cross with myself!

Fern : there is no way we cannot have ups and downs. Today isn't even a down. It's just pulling back for the next day so it doesn't turn into a week or month. Everything is fine

Thanks today. I just feel so cross that I constantly sabotage myself!

I'm on the waggon at the moment, which is good! I'm on medication so I can't drink. I thought I'd be better at not eating random crap as I won't have gin or wine munchies. But not really any different 😐

Being on the wagon is great but can also bring you down if you're used to relaxing at the end of the day with a wine/ gin and you can't. I will definitely miss that! One step at a time though..

Hi, can I join in too or am I too late?
I also need to shift the weight by Christmas!! I'm 5ft8 and 13.5 stone. The heaviest I've been. None of my clothes fit me and I refused to keep buying bigger clothes. I had a baby 4 months ago and suffered from PND so my comfort came in food. But before pregnancy for the last couple of years, I relied on food for comfort and i got addicted. I used to be 10.5 stone!! But would like to lose 2.5 stone ideally. I'm Still going through a crap time especially in my marriage so it's really hard... but need to toughen up. As I know when I lose this weight I will feel much more happier and more confident. Sorry for the rant! x

Welcome Duckii! Join away!

Don't be hard on yourself though, you've not long given birth and bloody hell it takes it out of you! Its exhausting looking after a little one, and still trying to get everything else done. It can put a massive strain on any relationship, I found sleep deprivation absolutely torturous. And isolating. And I found it easier to reach for biscuits and coffee than a nice healthy lunch.

I'm 5'9", and weigh 12 stone and a size 16. Two years ago, I weighed 13 stone 3lb. A year ago I weighed 10 stone 3lb, I just lost my Dad (we nursed him though terminal cancer). Comfort eating and drinking spiralled out of control. I'm recently on beta blockers and antidepressants, hence no alcohol. But I love digestive biscuits (especially with cheese) and crave them so much! I'm NOT buying any this week!

This little place is a safe place to rant, I'm going to be doing it frequently!

Keen to join.

When you “let go” what’s your vice?

I read up thread except I ate 4 flakes and 2 crunchies after dinner. and this really resonated. Not kids size though. Full size. Plus crisps. Oh the shame

@Fernweh so sorry to hear about your dad. You've been through a lot so it's understandable. Have you got any deadlines where you want to lose weight by? Yes sleep deprived is actually torture.. I hate how I turn to food for comfort. It gives a temporary happiness, afterwards I feel so much worse (especially when it's 2/3 chocolates/crisps after dinner!). I need to keep remembering that horrible feeling afterwards of regret to avoid eating in the first place. Easier said than done..

Genuinely sorry to hear about your Dad, Fernweh. The loss of a parent is a very profound thing and you never get over it. Mine died 5 years ago when my DS was 3 and it really knocked me. So big hugs to you.

Welcome Duckii! Just to echo Today, be kind to yourself and sleep deprivation is a total mothetfucker. There is scientific evidence that it leads to weight gain due to promoting sugar cravings, so no wonder we struggle some days. One step at a time.

Hello Nosy. My vice is wine and carbs! Then I feel shit the next day and crave more carbs and the cycle starts again...

How are you today Rockchick?

Anyway! We go home tonight so making the most of the sea air, swimming pool and countryside, and a nice lunch.

Big thank you to Today for starting this thread!

Thank you for your kind words, yes it's been shit but we've done the first year and had all the anniversary type things happen. It astounds me how someone can live a life then PFFFff gone.

I turned to food and alcohol for self medicating comfort, tried to carry on as if everything was ok and well... it wasn't. Luckily, I have a very understanding GP and it's being addressed now. It's early days on the ADs, still waiting for them to work but for the first time in ages I feel as if I'm starting to get control. I just need to chill a bit with the food and not chew myself up if I have one 5 more biscuits than I should!

Gosh I think I've been more honest here than with some people in real life!

Going to try to be positive today!

I understand, Fern, I really, really do. All I can offer from my own experience is that whilst the sadness never passes fully, you just get more used to that person not being around. I hope you have some support around you in real life?

It's complex, our relationship with food and emotions. No wonder it's so difficult!

Keep pushing in a different direction when you can.

Welcome all newcomers
I honestly didn't expect that people would want to join this thread but I'm so happy that you all have.
It's sad that some of us (if not all) have had a sadness or devastating events happen and our only way trying to bury the hurt is eating.
I hope everyone is coping today and having those small victories x

Thanks guys, I gave myself a calorie limit to binge up to, and stuck to it so I felt like I had pigged out but without doing too much damage IYKWIM.

Duckii my weight gain has mostly been PND related, unfortunately I let it go on far too long and now the bad eating habits have become deeply ingrained and are nearly impossible to change. Well done for making the effort with a 4 month old!

Fern so sorry for your loss. Which ADs are you on? Mine took about 2 weeks to kick in, so hopefully you’ll start feeling the effects soon.

Nosy my vice can be anything - share size bags of crisps, a dozen Krispy Kreme donuts, full tub of ice cream... it’s so embarrassing to type that, I know the amounts I eat aren’t normal but it’s so hard to stop.

Thrown hope you had a safe journey home.

Today how have you got on? Is it Monday you are weighing in?

Omg - I did not mean to put a sad face!! I meant

How odd! I'm going to weigh Monday. I was far too nervous yesterday.. hope I've lost enough to make it feel worth while otherwise I will struggle to keep it up!

Dinner today was a steak open sandwich and salad 600 Cals. So altogether I've had 1200 so far. Will have a snack later. Only managed one walk today as it's completely pouring down....still want to go though! Might do it anyway.

Okay ..not sure why the smiley comes out as a sad face. I swear I'm tapping the grin and it says grin!!

I'm home!

And I got straight on the scales this morning and I know we're officially weighing on a Monday but I needed to see the damage (15.13 which is heavy but if I had hit the 16's I think I would have hit the toast).

Anyway. The game is ON and feeling good!

Glad to read your update Rock and all the updates from everyone.

I'll get round to my SW story later (it's really not that exciting) but in the meantime need to tackle unpacking the car...

Well done Thrown. Great to hear you so positive! What are your plans for food today guys?

I'm going on a walk then I will have some melon, then lunch is beans on toast. Not sure for dinner but it may be curry

I've had 2 boiled eggs for brekkie. Lunch will be a huge salad with pickles and ham and one pitta bread.

Dinner is jacket spud and beans. Yoghurt and fruit for snacks.

Hope you get your walk in Today ! I've clocked up 2500 steps just by unpacking the car and putting everything away!

Definitely struggling today...I am really hungry. Just waiting for my oh to get home so I can eat! Really craving chocolate. Arghhh. Don't worry. I'm not giving in but I'm ready crawl out of my own skin!

Hold steady Today! Have you got anything fizzy to drink? Or just a massive glass of water?