Reasons for not breastfeeding in public

[DitaVonCheese]

A discussion on another forum I frequent has got me thinking and I'd love to hear some other people's views. If you didn't/don't breastfeed in public (or if you do but are nervous), is it because you're worried about showing too much, or anxious about being told off by a security guard/interfering old bat/unenlightened male, or for some other reason I've missed?

When I first started I was worried about getting told off but now would probably quite happily cause a scene if necessary I think now I'd be more annoyed if someone just kept tutting but didn't actually say anything, so I'd end up being annoyed all day rather than letting rip!

ourlot - I thought you were sleepless - are you not?

I can't even follow this anymore but wanted to comment on
"When I stopped feeding my ds at 18 months I'm not even sure if there was any milk there as my boobs went all floppy like they never used to be before feeding."
(sshhhhh- we don't admit this! )

ourlot, I am still struggling to find out what you and Sleepless are actually objecting too. Is it the nursing toddler, or the nursing mothers shaving habits or something else ?

If a well dressed lady in a suit with shaved legs turned up at the group nursing her toddler, would that be acceptable to you ?

What if one of the new mums with a very young baby needed breastfeeding support and she happened to be a "hairy ankle sort". Would you give her support ?

I think, if they aren't the same person, it's sleepless who is the peer supporter

I would like to know what the bf rates are in the areas where those who are objecting live. Here (Exeter) all the mums I know bf. And I am talking about everyone from lawyers, to students and the occasional mad hippy It's normal here, there's no type of woman who does it, and I think that's refreshing. This thread is just increasingly bizarre. I don't understand what is so wrong with feeding a toddler. For comfort, do you object to blankets or a toy? It's the same thing. For food? They're just having a drink fgs. I don't see what there is to object about. It makes me so infuriated that there is anyone out there who feels they have the right to an opinion about the good things I am doing for my dc by bf them. And I feel very sad if you really are a bf support worker

I think sleepless is a mysogynist actually.

She just objects to women who don't conform to a particular feminine ideal - to the extent that she feels she can't identify them or their values in any way.

Maybe she's one of those people who think women have a duty to look sexy and groomed at all times.

Maybe she's a man.......

littlelamb - lawyers and students and the occasional hippy are all educated people arent they - all a little bit middle class? Lots of my friends bf round where I live (in the south east) but when I ran a toddler group a couple of years ago there was a clear divide among people who did and people who didnt and to deny that isnt helping get the rates up...

oh jesus-the fleecey,yoghurt weaving is a lazy cliche-which i believe i pointed out as i typed it-some of the cliches are typed with my tongue firmly placed in my beautifully blushered cheeks-however it does suit your irate purpose to pick up on these parts without actually acknowledging as a possibility these people exist...
i too have rather hairy ankles currently and if you spoke to my dearly beloved he'd confirm that my 'grooming' is only from the neck up and the bit that sticks out at the bottom of my jeans (i always have painted toenails as i wear a lot of birkenstocks.
i am not the other poster-have you considered that maybe more than ONE person can hold an opinion different to yours?

I'm not objecting to anything and I don't think sleepless is either.
BF is normal, but round here there are VERY few locals who do it. I live in a quite socially deprived area. Maybe sleepless does too. I wish they would as to be honest I am very sorry when I see a new born being bottle fed, FAR more so than when I see a toddler being BF with flashing nipples and all! The only reason I have a slight problem with the latter is that it is sometimes the only example of BF the local pregnant youngsters are likely to see. And trust me, they're more likely to snigger and be put off by that than you might want to think.
The answer?
I don't know!
I wouldn't want anyone to stop doing what they thought was best for their child, but I do think there are a lot of extreme BFers who make the typical woman who lives where I do think BF is abnormal (and most of the locals here are not students, lawyers or mad hippies they are working and non working class).
Just what Giantkatestacks said! It's the denial I object to.

fucking hell ourlot-maybe we are the same person after all...you've put it far better than i did (nofuckingshitsherlock10pagesofirelater)
i genuinely don't care-you've used the term 'extreme breastfeeders' which is seemingly what's so offensive and are now going to get flailed-you do know that don't you?as these people DO NOT EXIST...

As Ourlot is not objecting to anything

I'll re copy my questions to Sleepless only.....
Q1. If a well dressed lady in a suit with shaved legs turned up at the group nursing her toddler, would that be acceptable to you ?

Q2.What if one of the new mums with a very young baby needed breastfeeding support and she happened to be a "hairy ankle sort". Would you give her support

Oh come on Babies, do you really need to ask? Or are you making a joke?
I'll answer:

1. If she's got time to put on a suit and shave her legs she clearly doesn't need support
2. I'd refer her to 1 who clearly needs something to keep her busy! (wink)

sorry I thought you were the same person, just you've both appeared holding a fairly specific view on separate threads in the last few days. That view being that extended breastfeeding will put off women just starting out.

dear babies everywhere,
i can only assume you are now taking the piss-as i clearly have been in some of my lazy stereotypes AS INDICATED WHEN USING THEM this is a pointless,babbling,neverending 'heated debate' that i am not prepared to go into any further until you pack it in and stop being so silly
your
sleepless

you two must be twins separated at birth

she's a lucky girl then stealth as i am a perfectly groomed bleeding cracker...

And I'm a man

i am going to have one last go at making my point and then writing off most of this thread as bleating-
i am 20 years old,i have got no experience in my family of breastfeeding or amongst my friends-my boyfriend is a bit worried that it's 'weird' as he's no real idea either but is happy to go along with this temporarily- i've had a go at feeding my baby but she's not putting weight on like it says in the red book-not deterred-i take the fucking enormous step of seeking advice from a drop in centre-when i get there-nobody is like me,in fact they have what i consider to be great big kids that they are feeding-some of them are feeding two at the same time...do you think this will help her to explain to her family and friends especially her mum who has never fed and arrived with bottles and formula as a present a few weeks ago and just wants to helpthat it's the most natural thing in the world?
Nice,middle class,older/educated women might take this support as a peer sorority group-frankly-they'll breastfeed if/as long as it suits them.
in poor areas,with younger mums and little or no support/knowledge amongst THEIR peers how do you think this appears?

I don't often get upset by threads, but I find the attitudes of some of the posters here very insulting.

Someone, somewhere, will find most things odd/uncomfortable etc. Perhaps a young mother finds the idea of breastfeeding an older baby or toddler wierd. But there will be another who finds breastfeeding at all strange, and may find being around a breastfeeding mum very uncomfortable. If we should not breastfeed our toddlers in front of these impressionable women for fear of putting them off (or at least we should do it in a place or way that someone else deems appropriate), then should we also refrain from feeding at all in case it makes someone uncomfortable?

I think it is important to encourage women to feed past 6 months or a year as well as to encourage them to get started, and how the hell are we to manage that if feeding older babies and toddlers is labelled as extreme, and insulting terms like yoghurt weaving, and hairy ankles or whatever it was are used.

I am an extended breastfeeding (although only 15mo so far) and I do not judge my friends who have chosen to stop at whatever time. I might politely ask them why they have made decisions (and have actually helped a friend keep going as she realised she was just planning to stop because she had originally decided that, not because she wanted to!) but I don't push my yoghurt/lentil/whatever weaving ways on them.

I shall now take my glass of wine to bed with my book and wind down.

How times have changed.
My mum bf all 10 (yes 10) of her kids - and we were extremely poor. Don't people realise that it's free? I just don't get why the deprived areas seem to have more ffing. Am genuinely flummoxed - what is the reason???

Oh and incidentally, she bf my wee sis until she was 4 (as she had a heart condition and it calmed her down)and used to donate milk to special care units. If that isn't extreme bfing I don't know what is

Said wee sis is a mumsnetter - hope she doesn't find this...

You can get vouchers to use for formula if on low income/unemployed