any other women who don't want or didn't want to breastfeed?

[Ema76]

feel like I am the only one in the world but really do not want to breastfeed. does anyone else out there feel the same? know lots of women who don't breastfeed because they couldn't and some that gave up very early on but no one who simply feel strongly that it wasn't for them and made the decision before the baby was born.just be nice to hear from someone who feels the same and did not breastfeed because of that. thank you

I'm sorry but feel her post was totally unreasonable and she continually posts in a similar vein.I don't think it's unreasonable for me to highlight that at all. I don't have a problem with Greenmonkies commenting on my previous posts which she has done I

What do the endorphins do, GM?

BTW this is not an attack question , I agree with most of what you have said but as I don't know what endorphins are I can't agree with that bit yet... have had 3 CSs, one after labour, didn't notice any difference in myself but the babies, ohh yes. V.interested.

i personally do not think it was out of order for MilaMae to comment and to make the comments she made. GM made hers and responses to it are vital. I personally agree with MilaMae about the 'issues' part of her statement and think GM does have problems with others thinking differently. no one is perfect we just all do the best we can do, hopefully, and that is different for everyone.

I'm sure MilaMae knows that the etiquette here is not to drag over issues from other threads.

Quite frankly advice issued by GM in the past on slingwearing for twin babies just isn't relevant to this discussion.

tiktok-no-one told me it was poor quality milk.I surmised this myself.To be fair I had attended BF classed and called the BF counsellor.I tried lots of different positions for feeding.It just wasnt for me at all.
I know for most people lots of help would well, help.But I honestly think that for some people, myself included no amount of help makes it easier.Maybe my nips are an odd shape
My Mother had similar issues (she told me this after I gave up so as not to put the idea in my head that issues with BFing could be inherited BTW)

Ema - i feel exactly the same as you, just the thought of it makes me cringe so i definately will not be bowing down to the pressures to BF from MW's etc. I even have a very close friend trying to tell me that I should!!! At the end of the day it is MY body, MY baby and MY choice.
Don't let them make you feel guilty it is entirely up to you. Good luck with everything

I'm sorry Chequers but the etiquette (as you put it) of Mumsnet is to respect all mothers different ways of parenting and to support mothers. Greenmonkies flouts that time and time again.

If a poster continually posts in a way that causes concern we all have a right to highlight that. It would be a very alarming state of affairs if we all turned a blind eye to unpleasant behaviour because of "etiquette".

MilaMae then speak to MN towers about it.

"Personally I think you clearly have issues over some area of your parenting as you seem to obsess constantly about the areas you feel you excel in"

You're getting a bit personal, don't you think? If you find GM over the top of a poster then perhaps you should lead be example instead of stooping to the same level.

You piqued my curiosity with the sling thing, and I can see you debated (amonst other things) Gina Ford with Green Monkies in the past. You debated that in April - let it go!!!

Anyhow I'm happy to move on re old threads,the point has been made and Ema to some degree has got the support she was looking for when she originally posted.

You'll see from the thread many were upset about the comments made from GM and were again upsetting for vulnerable mothers to read. I don't think it's very nice that somebody feels the need to upset people in order to push their views. Thats my view and I will express that. I think you need to let this go now unless you really want to rehash old threads.

Glad you have seen the light now MM

I think we crossed twice

No, I was replying to your final post

pinkbabybump - thanks for your post. are you pregnant too? i had a close friend also telling me i should and also saying that she had a feeling i would at least try even though she knows how i feel. it is good to know that others feel this way too. met someone the other day who said that it is never something she would tell someone to do as she had hated every minute of it and her toes would curl and if she had anymore children she wouldn't even start. i personally think that it is best not to start feeling the way we do, and although i do realise feelings change (however, i very much doubt mine will), it is kind to you both in the end to have less stress and be happy - baby will be happy for it too. so many babies are bottle fed for numerous reasons and it is not as awful as some people would have us believe. i am sure breast is best (hate that saying) but bottle isn't an awful alternative and you are right we shoud not be made to feel guilty - it must be terrible for those that want to breastfeed and for whatever reason can't, it is unfair how other women , who must have issues of their own, make you feel. i've seen many examples where a bottle baby is healthier than a breast one and then visa versa. i won't be giving in to the pressure either. many thanks

Ema76 - we don't know how babies feel about how they're fed because they can't tell us.

There is a difference between breast and bottlefeeding - a big one. I would like to think that every mum would try to consider this issue from her baby's perspective before coming to a decision. And yes - you're absolutely right that some bottlefed babies will be more healthy than some breastfed babies.

However, logic dictates that almost all bottlefed babies would be healthier if they had been breastfed, however healthy they are to start with. I think it's important that this fact isn't obscured when this subject is discussed.

Anyway - however you feed your baby I hope you enjoy being a mum. It's the best, best thing in the world!

i can't wait!

Hi Ema - I am 27 weeks pregnant so due in Feb '09. I tried to breastfeed my son due to being made to feel that I was abnormal for not wanting to - I found it toe curling and he didn't seem to want to do it either so I stopped. This was 10 years ago so am much more able to say what I don't want now. When are u due?

i am due in march 09 - don't know if i have already said that, really do have nappy brain at the moment. it is good to hear what you say - at least we know that others feel that way. some people just make so many judgements and try to pressure you into their way of thinking. i have been looking into how to stop supply of milk once the baby is here. i don't intend to start and have been researching methods to reduce supply fast. been told it'll take about 2 weeks or so.
what tips could you give?

apparently shower water can stimulate production and obviously avoid nipple stimulation.

gel/cold packs for relief of pressure

Keep fresh green cabbage leaves over your breasts. This would gradually help dry up the breast milk supply. Place these leaves for some days and replace when they droop

To deal with the transitory pain and discomfort, you can take pain relievers.

Drink water as often as you can, since it helps dry up the breast milk supply pretty
fast

sage tea and tincture (i found out earlier) are useful too.

the only thing i remember doing is the cabbage leaf in my bra i can't remember the soreness lasting for that long tbh (or maybe i've just blocked it out)

i am only going to try the cabbage if all else fails. i think time is probably the best thing. at least i can take a painkiller if i need to take one. been having headaches and you realise how you take them for granted. i just go to bed as luckily the headaches tend to be early evening and not in work time.
think the soreness varies - maybe the longer you b/f for the more it would affect you. not entirely sure.
you are not going to start either i assume? there will be two of us! what formula are you going to use? still investigating - hipp organic but they don't do a ready to use version not a big problem i suppose. sma gold is apparently good but can't say from personal experience.

I didnt breastfeed and had no intention of bf-ing. That was just my preference for several reasons and if Im lucky enough to have another lo I would do that same. I had several "friends" who were "horrified" with my un-caring attitude etc and was treated rather badly at my antenatal classes when everyone but us were planning to bf and we happily sat through 3/4hr on bf-ing info etc (think bf if you want to do it is lovely and no problems being informed etc) to then have a 10 minute "suppose we'll have to discuss bottle feeding for you" lecture on why bottle feeding is ok but bf better lol. All in all it was the best decision for us at the time and work out brilliantly - all say choose whatever you feel happier with as a family x

I keep swaying between trying to breastfeed again and then thinking 'I can't'!!!!!!!!!! I used SMA gold for my son and had no problems but have been looking at the Aptamil cos you can get ready to go cartons and apparently it is as close to breastmilk as you can get.
tbh i think i'm gonna wait until the time comes and see how i feel then

thank you nickisue. i have decided to be upfront and say what i intend too, even though the reaction isn't always very good. was going to lie for ease and just say i had changed my mind when baby born, but why! i'm just going to be me and can't be bothered to lie really, never can, sometimes would be easier if i did.
can't actually find an anti natal class near enough to me, so won't be going to those anyway. shame but can't be helped.
thanks again

good luck pinkbabybump whatever you decide. hope your pregnancy goes really well.