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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

any other women who don't want or didn't want to breastfeed?

202 replies

Ema76 · 19/11/2008 13:58

feel like I am the only one in the world but really do not want to breastfeed. does anyone else out there feel the same? know lots of women who don't breastfeed because they couldn't and some that gave up very early on but no one who simply feel strongly that it wasn't for them and made the decision before the baby was born.just be nice to hear from someone who feels the same and did not breastfeed because of that. thank you

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Ema76 · 19/11/2008 14:46

mum breastfed and her views really are - whatever is best for the individual.

I know Rhubarb - can keep my bits to myself!

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Ema76 · 19/11/2008 14:48

fourarms - they don't touch you do they? omg - wouldn't have that or be seen even if i did b/f.

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chequersandchess · 19/11/2008 14:52

You know, I was just thinking about this earlier. When I was younger a few friends or friends of boyfriends had babies and bottle fed from day one. I had absolutely no opinion on the matter, it's only now I have a baby of my own that I pay any thought to how babies are fed.

I guess, what I'm trying to say, is that whilst you may feel that some people are judging you (and I'm afraid probably a few will, but would probably judge you whatever you do) the vast majority of people will not even notice how you feed your baby, let alone care.

Rhubarb · 19/11/2008 14:54

No, they don't touch your boobs.

Mine just touched everywhere flippin' else!

chequersandchess · 19/11/2008 14:56

They touched mine - they did ask first though

Ema76 · 19/11/2008 14:57

thanks chequersandchess.

why do they touch you everywhere else? Lik i said I'm having a c-section so will be less intrusive in that way.

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Ema76 · 19/11/2008 14:58

i have promised my partner that i'm going for a smear test after baby born. at least i'll be able to have a very large drink before it.

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trixymalixy · 19/11/2008 15:02

Oooh,congrats thesuburbandryad!!!

Who else is also pregnant?

Sorry for thread hijack!

Ema76 · 19/11/2008 15:06

why did they touch your chequersandchess? assume you means breasts?

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theSuburbanDryad · 19/11/2008 15:07

RGee, PCF and Nemo! Mad eh?

Get on over to the PN thread and we can stop hijacking this one! (Sorry Ema).

Great posts by Rhubs on this thread IMO.

StarlightMcKenzie · 19/11/2008 15:10

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lulumama · 19/11/2008 15:10

ema, please be aware that a c.s is intrusive in some respects. you will be exposed at various points, and might well have a catheter aswell. your MW may also need to check your vaginal blood loss after the birth and she will certainly need to palpate your tummy to make sre your uterus is contracting down. there will be people seeing bits of you !

chequersandchess · 19/11/2008 15:11

To helpwith the latch, think that was the b/f peer supporter who did that. The m/w at baby clinic made me see her.

I think good b/ counsellors are 'hands off' though.

TBH, I had an extremely intrusive forceps delivery so someone touching my breasts really wasn't a huge issue to me.

Ema76 · 19/11/2008 15:16

yes i know there might be some intrusion but it is not as intrusive as labour. talked about the catheter - i might not have to have one which would be good as don't want one unless absolutely necessary. can deal with tummy being pressed. thanks lulumama - it is good to know what to expect.

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pooka · 19/11/2008 15:18

I have a friend who had no desire to breastfeed either of her children and didn't. We were talking about it and she said she just felt it would be weird. Fine. Her babies, her choice.

I did feel a bit sad though when she said that if someone (knowing that I did breastfeed) was breastfeeding at the table next to her while she was having a meal she would be put off her food because it's mucky.

Ho hum. She is a lovely friend though, and I jsut came to the conclusion that it would be better not to talk about it any more.

lulumama · 19/11/2008 15:19

okey doke, also, if you do breastfeeed, or want a go, no MW should be grabbing or holding your breasts anyway.

Ema76 · 19/11/2008 15:20

there are certain friends where certain subjects are best avoided. I agree.
i don't have a problem with anyone else's decision but must admit i wouldn't want to watch someone breastfeed. i just wouldn't look.

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Ema76 · 19/11/2008 15:21

i'd feel the same if someone was topless on a beach by the way - uncomfortable.

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tiktok · 19/11/2008 15:23

It has to be said - some midwives are intrusively 'hands on' when 'helping' mothers to bf. They need to be told not to do it. Firmly.

Ema, you might want to think about just having your baby snuggled up to you skin to skin after the birth, and see what the baby does. Would you be ok if your baby just latched on that way - just to see if you felt ok when it happened?

Ema76 · 19/11/2008 15:25

i'd keep my bra on i have to say. - def in hospital.

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StarlightMcKenzie · 19/11/2008 15:30

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islandofsodor · 19/11/2008 15:30

In a similar way to Rhubarb I too felt utter revulsion at the thought of breastfeeding. I'm sure it was in the main due to the culture of how I had been briught up. My Mum convinced me that breastfeeding was something I didn't want to do and in fact that I wouldn't be able to do.

I used to have nightmares during my pregnancy about breastfeeding and how awful it was to have this thing sucking on my breasts. I have never really liked them being touched anyway.

Coupled with health professionjals who were only interested in telling me what I MUST do and the lack of one to one midwife care and a situation where I could talk about my fears it was a no starter really. I did waver at one poijnt, but was put off in hospital.

However about 6 weeks after my dd was born I really began to feel differently. My milk was dripping from me and I began to see my body differently. I suffered from PND partly due to the immense sense of regret that I hadn't even tried to breastfeed. I now longed to know what it felt like to nurture my baby this way. It was a big factor in me deciding to have a second child.

This time I sought help and counselling. I actually sat on a chatroom of another parenting site talking through my fears with a trainee bfc. I still had this inner revuslsion and fear I couldn't do it but when it came to it and ds was born I began to see that breastfeeding was not this disgusting, unatural act, but something that was SO right.

It took me a LONG time to get over the fact that I didn't breastfeed dd, but it did take understanding from health professionals that enabled me to breastfeed ds. I never in a million years thought that I could breastfeed in oublic, but you know what, it was fine, I did it anywhere and in front of anyone and I would NEVR EVER EVER expose my body to anyone.

tiktok · 19/11/2008 15:34

It would be fine to keep your bra on, Ema...if you wanted to keep your options open vis a vis breastfeeding, just to see what your baby would do and what it felt like, you could simply open it (if it was a front opening one) or lift/drop the cup down. If you think you would like to see what you felt like, but only in private (if it's the thought of having an audience that makes it feel worse) then you are entitled to as much* privacy as you need. Just tell the staff.

Ema76 · 19/11/2008 15:38

ha ha about bloodpressure!

Islandofsodor - sad to hear your story and how you felt. hope truly that you feel better about it all now.

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Ema76 · 19/11/2008 15:41

tiktok - thank you for your advice. i don't feel comfortable with the whole idea tho and if i did feel differently i'd leave it til i got home. just the thought of someone barging in.

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