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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Working from home, breastfeeding, zoom meetings

274 replies

jadelou85 · 30/09/2021 17:19

Since the lockdowns my company has set thing up to allow most of us to work from home so my whole return to work hasn't been the wrench / challenge that I thought it would be. We do have a lot of zoom meetings and to start with everyone including my boss was fine if I dropped out of meetings if I needed to feed. I still had the feeling some people thought I was using it as an excuse so a few weeks ago I just told my boss I needed to feed but I was OK to carry on with our meeting. I managed to be discreet and was pretty chuffed with myself until right at the end I had a mssive slip-up becuase I was paying more attention to the meeting than what I was doing. I probably wouldn't have attempted it again after that but since that day I've felt more and more pressure to 'just get on with it' and take the multi-tasking approach. He hasn't been direct about it but my boss has made more than one comment along these lines even though he was always fine with me dropping our occasionally before. I literally feel I'm being pressured into now and I don't know how to deal with it. I feel lucky to be allowed to work from home but it feels a bit like an ultimatum like stay on meetings if you need to BF or come back to the office. Can someone help me put this in perspective and even better suggest how to deal with it or how to approach the subject without it being any more uncomfortable than it needs to be?

OP posts:
MsChatterbox · 30/09/2021 22:37

Am I the only one not seeing this as possibly the boss wanting it to go wrong and op be exposed again?! No I absolutely would not feed on camera again! If you must then like pp suggest put a card up on the table that blocks the view up to your neck.

Sweetpeasaremadeofcheese · 30/09/2021 22:46

@MsChatterbox yes that's only you.

Just don't have your breast in the shot OP.

EasterIssland · 30/09/2021 22:49

@StrandedStarfish

The legal position is that you are entitled for your baby to be brought to you at your place of work to breast feed, and that this must be accommodated by your employer. Having you breastfeed in front of other colleagues is a breach of your privacy and dignity.

That doesn’t change if your place if work is at home. I think if you were caring for your baby as well as working then there could be an issue, but if someone is caring for your child, and you are working, there should be no issue. I recommend you contact the maternity alliance or ‘pregnant then screwed’ for advice. These organisations advise on the rights of pregnant women and families with babies.

If you work for a public or government organisation, it’s a breach of the EHCR. They have to respect your right to a family life.

Shall there be no meetings or she not attending in case the baby needs bfing? When I was working from an office and my baby wasn’t there I was allowed to express. This was allowed when I wasn’t in the middle of a meeting as that’s not acommodating to the company. I’d do it in my free time or between tasks.

Same should be for bfing. This should happen when the op is not busy with tasks specially those that are engaging with others.

My son was at home during lockdown. If I was in a meeting then I’d say sorry mum is busy as soo. As I finish then I’ll be with you. If I wasn’t in a meeting then I’d bf him

StrandedStarfish · 30/09/2021 23:51

@easterissland

If that worked for you then great. I’m really pleased that you were able to be flexible and comfortable with your routine, and that your baby was content for you to do this. Your endeavours were successful and worked for you, your son and your employer. I think it’s brilliant when it all works well.

My experience is that if a baby needs to be breastfed, then it needs to be breastfed.

I hate the word ‘allowed’. If an infant child needs breastfeeding, women should not need an employer to ‘allow’ them to do this. The rights of the woman and the baby are enshrined in UK law. I’ve assumed that you and the OP are in the UK. My apologies, if I am incorrect. Delay can impact on the woman’s health (engorgement/ mastitis) and cause distress to the tiny human. Having to calm an angry, frustrated baby before you can breastfeed can be difficult in front of colleagues. Well it was for me in the 1990’s when my employer thought it acceptable for me to feed my child in the toilets. As you alluded to, I’ve never met a woman who has breastfed during the working day who hasn’t made the time up. Often going above and beyond….

The WHO state that women have the right to adequate maternity protection in the workplace and to a friendly environment and appropriate conditions in public spaces for breastfeeding which are crucial to ensure successful breastfeeding practices.

Having to breastfeed on screen is not in the spirit of the legislation. The employer needs to look at this and reduce the risk to health, privacy and dignity to the employee. In this case. It can be something as simple as turning the camera off on the employee, and placing the conversation on mute so as not to distract other employees, whilst commencing the feed. The woman can still listen to the meeting.

We need to normalise breastfeeding in the workplace. We aren’t martyrs. We are working parents. We need to support women and families in their journey and not say ‘well I did this, so should you’. We need to offer advice and education to both women and employers to get to gold standard and make every child’s road to optimum health as easy as it can be. Employees are more likely to want to work there and employers can retain staff. We all win.

jelly79 · 01/10/2021 00:09

Just turn your camera off. He can't insist you have a camera on in your home whilst you feed your baby (or at all)

Original poster
jadelou85 · 01/10/2021 01:51

@StrandedStarfish

Thank you so much for saying all that about normlising the whole issue. I can't believe some of the other comments. Apart from purely work-related reasons partly why I did attempt feeding and staying on the meeting. It felt like I was doing my bit. If it hadn't gone a bit wrong I'd probably have the confidence to talk to my boss directly about the camera on/off rule. I think the embarasment I felt around the whole slip-up has just made me over think it and feel awkward about challenging things.Your comments have helped!

OP posts:
EarringsandLipstick · 01/10/2021 05:37

It's not at all about normalising breast feeding, that's a ridiculous straw man argument.

What age is your baby? If you are back at work, surely they are as a minimum 6 months.

It is completely possible to manage breast feeding requirements around your work commitments, using structured breaks.

Work is not meant to accommodate our care-giving responsibilities to the extent described (of course there are necessary protections in law as needed). It sounds like you have a massively understanding boss which is wonderful.

Nothing about the situation is anything to do with b/f needing to be further normalised.

SaltySheepdog · 01/10/2021 05:53

Important you’re not looking after the child while working. I think there might be some legislation around being able to express or breast feed while at work.

EarringsandLipstick · 01/10/2021 06:40

And this is the relevant, and pertinent to OP's situation, section:

There is no legal right, however, for your employer to provide breastfeeding breaks at work. But they must meet their obligations to employees who breastfeed under health and safety law, flexible working law and discrimination law. This means your employer should make sure you don't feel unfairly treated because you are breastfeeding.

It's the exact opposite in OP's situation. She leaves meetings to b/f (or has done) and is now objecting to a camera on rule because she would like to b/f during work.

SaltySheepdog · 01/10/2021 07:50

Can the camera be angled head up so that it doesn’t show your chest

Original poster
jadelou85 · 01/10/2021 09:29

@MsChatterbox

Am I the only one not seeing this as possibly the boss wanting it to go wrong and op be exposed again?! No I absolutely would not feed on camera again! If you must then like pp suggest put a card up on the table that blocks the view up to your neck.
If really want to say that's not what it's about. When that happened I was more embarrassed for making him feel awkward than I was for myself. I wasn't looking at it that way.
OP posts:
EasterIssland · 01/10/2021 12:05

would you expect if you were in an office to be allowed to bring the child into the meeting and bf whilst the baby needs it? would you expect the meeting is moved around so that you can do this? or that you dont attend the meeting?

Anoisagusaris · 01/10/2021 12:45

How long are these meetings and how often? Can’t you just feed the baby before the meeting?

I breastfed 3 babies so I know all about babies needing to be fed and how impatient they can be. But I used to give them a feed immediately before say visitors calling or me going out without them, or even in the car before going shopping or to a restaurant.

I think you are making this into a bigger deal than it needs to be.

Moonbabysmum · 01/10/2021 12:54

The odd thing is that you've started two threads about this, and despite repeatedly getting asked your baby's age, and who is caring for them, you ignore this repeatedly. Which surely you wouldn't ignore unless there was a reason to.

My current thinking is that you are basically looking after a toddler whilst trying to work, and that's why you don't want to say.

MyothercarisaCozyCoupe · 01/10/2021 13:03

@Moonbabysmum

The Op seems to think that details don't matter here (but they absolutely do) and that anyone who questions her set up is anti-breastfeeding!

Moonbabysmum · 01/10/2021 13:10

Yep! I mean I was literally bfing my 2yo when typing, and I do occasionally feed her whilst working (usually just if I'm working early morning, and she wants some when she wakes), so I'm certainly not averse to either longer term breastfeeding or multitasking with work.

I wouldn't do it in a work meeting though, and if i did as a one off, I'd just make sure it wasn't seem/visible on camera. Its certainly not a reason to get out of a meeting 🙄

EasterIssland · 01/10/2021 13:23

@Moonbabysmum

Yep! I mean I was literally bfing my 2yo when typing, and I do occasionally feed her whilst working (usually just if I'm working early morning, and she wants some when she wakes), so I'm certainly not averse to either longer term breastfeeding or multitasking with work.

I wouldn't do it in a work meeting though, and if i did as a one off, I'd just make sure it wasn't seem/visible on camera. Its certainly not a reason to get out of a meeting 🙄

Exactly. I still bf my 3.5yo child. And if he’s at home cuz of ill or lockdown Ill bf him. But won’t do it in the middle of meeting. I’d not do it if I was in the office hence I can justify it just because I’m wfh
EasterIssland · 01/10/2021 13:47

*cant

Hiphopopotamus · 01/10/2021 14:06

OP how old is your baby? You’ve repeatedly ignored the question and it’s really relevant to how easy it is to structure/delay the breastfeeds when necessary

Original poster
jadelou85 · 02/10/2021 04:16

@Moonbabysmum

The odd thing is that you've started two threads about this, and despite repeatedly getting asked your baby's age, and who is caring for them, you ignore this repeatedly. Which surely you wouldn't ignore unless there was a reason to.

My current thinking is that you are basically looking after a toddler whilst trying to work, and that's why you don't want to say.

My current thinking is that you need something more important to think about.
OP posts:
JasonMomoasgirlfriend · 02/10/2021 04:28

How bizarre

Original poster
jadelou85 · 02/10/2021 04:30

@BeepingBB

You've been evasive/rude to every response.

What did you want from this thread?

I thought it would be useful to hear people's views....and it is.
OP posts:
Nightlystroll · 02/10/2021 04:46

I know my opinion will be really unpopular on here and is very non pc, but I really wouldn't like people breastfeeding whilst I was in a meeting with them. I wouldn't like it if babies or toddlers, including 3.5yos were coming into the office and climbing on their mother's knee to be bf whilst I'm trying to conduct business with their mother. I know people will say I'm unreasonable and a 🦕 , but there it is. I think it's likely there will be other people in the meeting who think like me.

However, thats a digression because that's not the problem you're facing. It's clear from your post that it's important to them that you are present at the meeting, visible I guess so they can see you're engaging, and if you flash your nipples, they'll either be happy with that or at least be willing to put up with it. You are lucky to have such an agreeable boss.

converseandjeans · 02/10/2021 05:22

I don't think you should be stopping work meetings to feed your child. You're either working or parenting. I think your boss is likely worried about being accused of discrimination if he says something. I imagine he was ok when baby was tiny but now they're older expects you to be able to attend meetings and not disappear off.

Plenty of Mums bf and leave baby to go and work - imagine having a medical procedure, being served in a shop, having a beauty treatment, being taught a lesson in school & the person looking after you had a baby or toddler feeding whilst trying to do their job. Can you honestly say that they would be 100% focused on you and your needs? Would you be happy with your service?