Working from home, breastfeeding, zoom meetings

[jadelou85]

Since the lockdowns my company has set thing up to allow most of us to work from home so my whole return to work hasn't been the wrench / challenge that I thought it would be. We do have a lot of zoom meetings and to start with everyone including my boss was fine if I dropped out of meetings if I needed to feed. I still had the feeling some people thought I was using it as an excuse so a few weeks ago I just told my boss I needed to feed but I was OK to carry on with our meeting. I managed to be discreet and was pretty chuffed with myself until right at the end I had a mssive slip-up becuase I was paying more attention to the meeting than what I was doing. I probably wouldn't have attempted it again after that but since that day I've felt more and more pressure to 'just get on with it' and take the multi-tasking approach. He hasn't been direct about it but my boss has made more than one comment along these lines even though he was always fine with me dropping our occasionally before. I literally feel I'm being pressured into now and I don't know how to deal with it. I feel lucky to be allowed to work from home but it feels a bit like an ultimatum like stay on meetings if you need to BF or come back to the office. Can someone help me put this in perspective and even better suggest how to deal with it or how to approach the subject without it being any more uncomfortable than it needs to be?

Also jumping down everyone's throats in an aggressive manner probably isn't going to get people to warm to you.

Well I think it's pretty clear he's not keen on it. If you're back at work,you should be expressing so whoever is providing your childcare can feed your baby.

How young is your baby if feeding in the morning, at lunch and after work isn’t enough?

@Clymene

Well I think it's pretty clear he's not keen on it. If you're back at work,you should be expressing so whoever is providing your childcare can feed your baby.

Breastfeeding women are entitled to breaks in work to express

I suspect having seen you do it once, and as baby is getting older that he doesn't understand why you need to keep leaving or missing meetings on a regular basis.

This is ridiculous. Your productivity must be shocking.

I take care of my baby whilst working op and have done for 18 months now. I angle the screen so you can see my head and top of my shoulders and feed baby actively to keep her quiet during meetings! Only time there has been an issue is when I thought my screen was off and it wasn’t and I was carrying my baby and laptop through to another room, with a boob out... now I’ve no idea who saw what and I don’t want to know! Do what you need to do and it’s all a phase, baby won’t feed for ever and you’ll be trying to work out how to solve other challenges. Mines now how to stop her creeping up on my phone calls and saying hi to customers!!

@NaturalBlue

Shocked your company allows this. Sounds really unprofessional and unfair on your child

How long can you actually nurse a toddler for at a time tho @NaturalBlue?

I don't see the problem of feeding the child whilst being on a work meeting.

Can’t you just schedule meetings around feeds/block out time for feeds? If the baby is old enough that you’re back at work it’s presumably not still feeding totally on demand with no discernible pattern?

I think you have unrealistic expectations about how far your workplace should support you in this. You are the employee here, not a customer.

Unless there is an catastrophic emergency, working people generally don’t bring babies to meetings, regardless of whether it’s in person, or on a video conference.

You really need to look at how you could change your feeding routine to work around scheduled meetings if you don’t want to feed ‘live’ on screen.

TBH, your workplace sounds like they have been very accommodating so far.

I think you should try and come to another arrangement. Express or if in a routine then avoid meetings at feeding time.

Employer should be supportive but on demand feeding during working hours is a bit much to expect.

@NaturalBlue that’s absurd. It sounds like you aren’t giving your toddler or your customers your full attention.

I’ve worked from home for years and the general rule was you couldn’t be caring for children of primary school age and under while working. They could be in another area at home and can see them in breaks but they can’t be with you. The baby shouldn’t be fed during work time.

I think you either need to feed to a schedule just as you would with pumping breaks (and that would probably be difficult) then you need to forget about feeding during working hours. It is taking the piss a bit, and I say this as someone who returned to work with her DH on SPL minding the breastfed baby downstairs. I fed for a week at the lunchtime nap, and then dropped the daytime feeds, because I'm working and can't be bothered with pumping.

I think you are pretty lucky he is happy with you feeding in meetings or at all when working

Bonkers.

And there’s no comparison to women being entitled to breaks to express in the office, unless those same women are whipping out the Medela in the middle of an in-person team meeting.

@cricketmum84

I think that as a line manager I would not be happy with a member of the team caring for a small baby whilst also working. You are not going to be anywhere near as productive as you should be and will be constantly distracted.

But that's besides the point and not what you asked.

Can you get a cover up and feed baby during meetings so nothing is revealed and you don't feel uncomfortable? I used to do this on days out.

I'm sure I'll get better at it yes. I'm normally good at being discreet I just slipped up that first time and knowing I was exposed it's made me uncomfortable/unsure about the whole issue I suppose.

How often are these meetings and how frequently are you feeding your baby? Because if its the odd occasion, I'd just say "oh I'm gonna pop my camera of a for a sec as Barry needs a feed" and turn it on once he's latched, turn off at end etc.

If you're feeding her every meeting and wanting to not be in the meeting I'd start to think you're taking the p post 6 months

Put a screen up so they can only see your head.

I don’t think it’s about how discreet the feeding is.

The test for breastfeeding is - would it be acceptable to bottle feed in equivalent circumstances. I don’t think work meetings are the place for a baby, breast or bottle feeding.

Can’t you just feed before or after a meeting? Same as if you were looking after an older child and had to do the school run or take them somewhere. Quick top up feed before the meeting starts.

*looking after an older child as well as a BF baby I mean.

You are being extremely unprofessional. You can't feed the baby during the work meeting, to be honest dropping off mid meetings also not great.
I am all pro women support, but you are pushing it.