Page 11 | Working from home, breastfeeding, zoom meetings

jadelou85 · 2021-09-30T16:19:13+00:00

Since the lockdowns my company has set thing up to allow most of us to work from home so my whole return to work hasn't been the wrench / challenge that I thought it would be. We do have a lot of zoom meetings and to start with everyone including my boss was fine if I dropped out of meetings if I needed to feed. I still had the feeling some people thought I was using it as an excuse so a few weeks ago I just told my boss I needed to feed but I was OK to carry on with our meeting. I managed to be discreet and was pretty chuffed with myself until right at the end I had a mssive slip-up becuase I was paying more attention to the meeting than what I was doing. I probably wouldn't have attempted it again after that but since that day I've felt more and more pressure to 'just get on with it' and take the multi-tasking approach. He hasn't been direct about it but my boss has made more than one comment along these lines even though he was always fine with me dropping our occasionally before. I literally feel I'm being pressured into now and I don't know how to deal with it. I feel lucky to be allowed to work from home but it feels a bit like an ultimatum like stay on meetings if you need to BF or come back to the office. Can someone help me put this in perspective and even better suggest how to deal with it or how to approach the subject without it being any more uncomfortable than it needs to be?

Original poster

jadelou85 · 13/10/2021 12:14

@noscoobydoodle

Many years ago my boss got her nanny to bring the baby into the office/meetings to be breastfed. I returned to work last year after a short maternity leave with full childcare in place but did continue to breastfeed- something I didn't do with previous children as I was office based. How long does a feed take and how many times a day? I would go off camera, pop a note in the chat saying excuse me for a few minutes or whatever and then just switch back on when I was done. We have a camera on policy but people sometimes switch off for a few minutes- I assume to nip to the loo or something- but no-one ever asks. When I returned to work I did introduce a bottle as well so I could be flexible- if I was giving training or whatever important I wouldn't break off camera.

Thanks for sharing that. You probbaly missed this due to some of the needless hysterics but it's not even a daily occurrence. Most of the time feeds/meetings aren't in conflict. It was really just about the occassions when there has been an unavoidable clash and really more about the camera policy. It sounds like yours is a but more sensible.

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Glassofshloer · 13/10/2021 12:27

@EasterIssland

" Depending on how old the baby is it can take quite a while, and it isn’t a necessity - either pump or give formula. "

Please can we stop giving this advice? Whilst I dont agree with the OP, pumping it's not that easy, I gave up pumping after I returned to work because how demoralising it can be. Formula the same, not every kid (specially if bf) is going to take a bottle.

There are links in this thread that proof that work has to facilitate that the mum can continue bf by allowing to pump in their breaks or even allowing too have the kids to bf.

But all of that isn’t your employer’s problem is it? And the fact pumping didn’t work for you doesn’t mean it isn’t a useful tool for others. If your child won’t take a bottle, either a) don’t go back to work or b) leave plenty of time to acclimatise them to taking one before you go back.

Work doesn’t have to facilitate anything, they just aren’t allowed to discriminate against anyone due to bfing.

Original poster

jadelou85 · 13/10/2021 12:28

@EasterIssland

" Depending on how old the baby is it can take quite a while, and it isn’t a necessity - either pump or give formula. "

Please can we stop giving this advice? Whilst I dont agree with the OP, pumping it's not that easy, I gave up pumping after I returned to work because how demoralising it can be. Formula the same, not every kid (specially if bf) is going to take a bottle.

There are links in this thread that proof that work has to facilitate that the mum can continue bf by allowing to pump in their breaks or even allowing too have the kids to bf.

I found it demoralising as well - in more ways than one actually but apart from anything else it just took up more time in the long-run.

P.S. I think you might be diasgreeing with something I haven't actually said....

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EasterIssland · 13/10/2021 12:40

@Glassofshloer

"The law requires an employer to provide somewhere for a breastfeeding employee to rest and this includes being able to lie down. While it is a legal obligation for employers to regularly review general workplace risks*, there is no legal requirement to conduct a specific, separate risk assessment for an employee returning from maternity leave who has notified her intention to breastfeed. However, it would be good practice for an employer to do so, to help decide if any additional action needs to be taken.

If employers are unable to grant additional breaks, they could consider slightly extending normal breaks for the employee such as a mid morning coffee break or leaving earlier in the day to minimise any disruption to the business. "

Regarding your "Dont come back to work";;; sure.... work places tend to be reasonable, thanks god for that

EasterIssland · 13/10/2021 12:41

@jadelou85 "P.S. I think you might be diasgreeing with something I haven't actually said...."

I dont agree you should have time off meetings (unless they run during all the day) or specially I dont think you should have firstly bf whilst the camera was on.

Original poster

jadelou85 · 13/10/2021 12:50

This hasn't been an issue in my case but for anyone else that doesn't know - you ARE actually entitled to more frequent breaks if you're pumping.

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Original poster

jadelou85 · 13/10/2021 12:55

[quote EasterIssland]@jadelou85 "P.S. I think you might be diasgreeing with something I haven't actually said...."

I dont agree you should have time off meetings (unless they run during all the day) or specially I dont think you should have firstly bf whilst the camera was on.[/quote]
I dont agree you should have time off meetings

Yeah - I didn't say I should have time off for meetings

or specially I dont think you should have firstly bf whilst the camera was on.

That's not really disagreeing is it. The person I had the meeting with was OK with it and I was OK with it at the time so.....

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Original poster

jadelou85 · 13/10/2021 13:00

[quote EasterIssland]@Glassofshloer

"The law requires an employer to provide somewhere for a breastfeeding employee to rest and this includes being able to lie down. While it is a legal obligation for employers to regularly review general workplace risks*, there is no legal requirement to conduct a specific, separate risk assessment for an employee returning from maternity leave who has notified her intention to breastfeed. However, it would be good practice for an employer to do so, to help decide if any additional action needs to be taken.

If employers are unable to grant additional breaks, they could consider slightly extending normal breaks for the employee such as a mid morning coffee break or leaving earlier in the day to minimise any disruption to the business. "

Regarding your "Dont come back to work";;; sure.... work places tend to be reasonable, thanks god for that[/quote]
Some people seem to take the view that employers should only do what they have to do by law. Isn't the law the aboslute minimum? Like, if you do less than that, you're actally doing something illegal? I guess it's fine if that's their approach but I think most emplyers are going to go a little bit further than 'the minimum required by law'.

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Glassofshloer · 13/10/2021 13:06

[quote EasterIssland]@Glassofshloer

"The law requires an employer to provide somewhere for a breastfeeding employee to rest and this includes being able to lie down. While it is a legal obligation for employers to regularly review general workplace risks*, there is no legal requirement to conduct a specific, separate risk assessment for an employee returning from maternity leave who has notified her intention to breastfeed. However, it would be good practice for an employer to do so, to help decide if any additional action needs to be taken.

If employers are unable to grant additional breaks, they could consider slightly extending normal breaks for the employee such as a mid morning coffee break or leaving earlier in the day to minimise any disruption to the business. "

Regarding your "Dont come back to work";;; sure.... work places tend to be reasonable, thanks god for that[/quote]
That’s all ‘good practice’, not mandatory.

Glassofshloer · 13/10/2021 13:07

Some people seem to take the view that employers should only do what they have to do by law. Isn't the law the aboslute minimum?

I think you’re confused about what a workplace actually is…

Original poster

jadelou85 · 13/10/2021 13:10

@Glassofshloer

Some people seem to take the view that employers should only do what they have to do by law. Isn't the law the aboslute minimum?

I think you’re confused about what a workplace actually is…

A place where people work?

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Original poster

jadelou85 · 13/10/2021 13:13

@EasterIssland

so have you spoken with HR / ACAS / Your manager?

Yes, all sorted. Thank you.

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Katieandthekids · 13/10/2021 14:36

So... pre Covid there was a employee I worked with who would regularly bring her baby into the office and badly try to juggle work and WORK (caring for a baby is the WORK here all!!) people got pissy because most people there were missing their kids and spending a fortune on childcare.

I think the bad vibes you will be experiencing is that it's a bit unfair if they think you are working and WORKING. As it's double job... and what is going to cave first obviously your employed job.

You need to explain that you are breastfeeding but all other care is given by someone else while you concentrate on your employed job. I doubt people really care about the flash of a nipple.

Original poster

jadelou85 · 13/10/2021 15:05

@Katieandthekids

So... pre Covid there was a employee I worked with who would regularly bring her baby into the office and badly try to juggle work and WORK (caring for a baby is the WORK here all!!) people got pissy because most people there were missing their kids and spending a fortune on childcare.

I think the bad vibes you will be experiencing is that it's a bit unfair if they think you are working and WORKING. As it's double job... and what is going to cave first obviously your employed job.

You need to explain that you are breastfeeding but all other care is given by someone else while you concentrate on your employed job. I doubt people really care about the flash of a nipple.

Thanks and you're right. The thing is everyone at work already knows that's the case anyway. I think you might be right twice in fact. I'm pretty sure I was more embarassed than the other person on the call.

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Katieandthekids · 13/10/2021 16:18

@jadelou85 I breastfed my twins out and about sometimes. You basically need to be topless to do that so I just decided to quell any of my own embarrassment and decided anyone else who was embarrassed can just deal with that themselves. I did pump a lot and give a bottle and always had formula with me to though.

Original poster

jadelou85 · 14/10/2021 13:21

[quote Katieandthekids]@jadelou85 I breastfed my twins out and about sometimes. You basically need to be topless to do that so I just decided to quell any of my own embarrassment and decided anyone else who was embarrassed can just deal with that themselves. I did pump a lot and give a bottle and always had formula with me to though.[/quote]
Fair play to you for that. Especially with two! I genuinely hated pumping, it just felt so mechanical and tedious. I express when I need to but pumping wasn't going to work for me.

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Lucidas · 28/10/2021 22:12

It’s possible to breastfeed a small baby and be thoroughly productive at the same time. Especially if they’re in a sling. The UK has woeful feeding rates so it’s not surprising that most people are uninformed about this.

Lucidas · 28/10/2021 22:15

Breastfeeding is allowed in the House of Commons. I suppose most posters here think that’s outrageous.

Original poster

jadelou85 · 30/10/2021 12:26

@Lucidas

Breastfeeding is allowed in the House of Commons. I suppose most posters here think that’s outrageous.

Yes. Their HR people must not have been on here tgo get advice from all the experts...

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Original poster

jadelou85 · 30/10/2021 12:27

@Lucidas

It’s possible to breastfeed a small baby and be thoroughly productive at the same time. Especially if they’re in a sling. The UK has woeful feeding rates so it’s not surprising that most people are uninformed about this.

Exactly. Thank you.

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CampagVelocet · 30/10/2021 12:53

How old is your child? If you aren't going to answer the question, would you just say so explicitly, so people don't waste their time asking?

Original poster

jadelou85 · 30/10/2021 19:26

@CampagVelocet

How old is your child? If you aren't going to answer the question, would you just say so explicitly, so people don't waste their time asking?

Or....just stop asking.

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EarringsandLipstick · 01/11/2021 00:02

Or....just stop asking

🙄🙄🙄

LBB2020 · 05/11/2021 19:18

I’ve just returned to work and am still breastfeeding my 14 month old (who would breastfeed all day if I let them!), there is no way I’d ever think it was acceptable, appropriate or professional to breastfeed during a meeting! I’m all for breastfeeding and extended feeding, but feeding during a work meeting is completely unnecessary and if your baby is that young that it is necessary and they can’t wait you really need to think about extending your maternity leave