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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Working from home, breastfeeding, zoom meetings

274 replies

jadelou85 · 30/09/2021 17:19

Since the lockdowns my company has set thing up to allow most of us to work from home so my whole return to work hasn't been the wrench / challenge that I thought it would be. We do have a lot of zoom meetings and to start with everyone including my boss was fine if I dropped out of meetings if I needed to feed. I still had the feeling some people thought I was using it as an excuse so a few weeks ago I just told my boss I needed to feed but I was OK to carry on with our meeting. I managed to be discreet and was pretty chuffed with myself until right at the end I had a mssive slip-up becuase I was paying more attention to the meeting than what I was doing. I probably wouldn't have attempted it again after that but since that day I've felt more and more pressure to 'just get on with it' and take the multi-tasking approach. He hasn't been direct about it but my boss has made more than one comment along these lines even though he was always fine with me dropping our occasionally before. I literally feel I'm being pressured into now and I don't know how to deal with it. I feel lucky to be allowed to work from home but it feels a bit like an ultimatum like stay on meetings if you need to BF or come back to the office. Can someone help me put this in perspective and even better suggest how to deal with it or how to approach the subject without it being any more uncomfortable than it needs to be?

OP posts:
Original poster
jadelou85 · 30/09/2021 20:56

@SleepingStandingUp

How often are these meetings and how frequently are you feeding your baby? Because if its the odd occasion, I'd just say "oh I'm gonna pop my camera of a for a sec as Barry needs a feed" and turn it on once he's latched, turn off at end etc.

If you're feeding her every meeting and wanting to not be in the meeting I'd start to think you're taking the p post 6 months

Not often. It's possible to work round it most of the time I just know next time it comes up I'm going to either feel guilty for putting off feeding or awkward about feeding on the call. Turning the camera off to would be ideal but it's kind of understood that they're on during meetings (which I understand) and I don't know if it's a good idea to even ask now. The two things don't ever get mentioned together so on the one hand he has no problem with me feeding but on the other it's basically acase of if you need to do it fine but if you're on a call tough including the camera issue.
OP posts:
Viviennemary · 30/09/2021 21:00

You are either at work or looking after your baby. I don't see how this situation can arise. Sorry.

EarringsandLipstick · 30/09/2021 21:10

YA utterly UR

You are in work. You therefore work. Having a breastfed baby take your attention for periods during your working day is completely unreasonable.

Clearly, your boss is trying to give you this message but is also petrified of doing the wrong thing.

Feed your baby in your breaks. It is not valid to compare this to breaks for expressing. In that case, you couldn't continue to b/f if you didn't express, so it's a necessity. It's also primarily relevant to small babies - as your supply won't be affected by a longer period of not feeding.

I've b/f all mine, combined with work as needed (pre pandemic so not working from home of course).

doadeer · 30/09/2021 21:12

How old is your baby?

Noogar · 30/09/2021 21:19

Do you make up the time when you've been feeding the the end of the day?

BoredZelda · 30/09/2021 21:26

My point is there is zero reason to feed during meetings. If baby wants feeding then you should have expressed so that your nanny/whoever can give that. I breastfed until both mine were well over a year and work from home and I've never fed during a meeting.

Good for you. I had plenty of meetings whilst BFing. It’s not exactly a mentally draining thing to do. Most people can do two things at once.

BoredZelda · 30/09/2021 21:27

Do you make up the time when you've been feeding the the end of the day?

Do you make up the time when you are in the kitchen among a cup of tea, or all the other non work things people do during a work day?

As long as the work is done, that’s all that matters.

BoredZelda · 30/09/2021 21:29

it is not valid to compare this to breaks for expressing. In that case, you couldn't continue to b/f if you didn't express, so it's a necessity.

Of course it is valid. Are you seriously suggesting she is ok to take a break to express then hand that to someone to feed the baby, but not ok to cut out the middle step and put the food directly into the baby? Really?

EarringsandLipstick · 30/09/2021 21:30

I had plenty of meetings whilst BFing.

I guess it depends on the nature of your work. Mine entails engaging with the meeting, typing, using the keyboard etc. It also involves talking quite a bit. My babies would have been pulling away, looking for me to engage with them, which os grand when I'm chatting to a friend, less ok when in a professional context.

MyothercarisaCozyCoupe · 30/09/2021 21:30

@BoredZelda

But the Op doesn't want to do both things at once, she wants to leave meetings to breastfeed so she isn't getting her work done.

Iflyaway · 30/09/2021 21:33

Whenever my son was screaming for breastfeeding - did it for just over a year - and people around, I just put a cotton shawl/pashima around me covering it. Simple.

EarringsandLipstick · 30/09/2021 21:34

Are you seriously suggesting she is ok to take a break to express then hand that to someone to feed the baby, but not ok to cut out the middle step and put the food directly into the baby? Really?

No. I'm not saying that at all. 🙄

I'm saying that during the course of her day, she can structure her feeds so that she can feed the baby during her breaks - teabreaks, lunch. Because she and the baby are both physically in the same place.

This is different to being in the workplace ordinarily, where your baby is physically elsewhere & at an age where expressing is required to sustain supply.

In either case, the b/f shouldn't trump work needs & actively engaging in a meeting.

Noogar · 30/09/2021 21:37

@BoredZelda

Do you make up the time when you've been feeding the the end of the day?

Do you make up the time when you are in the kitchen among a cup of tea, or all the other non work things people do during a work day?

As long as the work is done, that’s all that matters.

If I took too long doing it or I was making a cup of tea during a meeting then yes someone would have words with me
Lipsandlashes · 30/09/2021 21:42

Your baby needs to be in nursery or with a childminder while you work HTH

turnthebiglightoff · 30/09/2021 21:44

Would you leave halfway through a work meeting to express?

savethewales · 30/09/2021 21:50

It’s actually down to the workplace, it isn’t a blanket policy.

StrandedStarfish · 30/09/2021 21:52

The legal position is that you are entitled for your baby to be brought to you at your place of work to breast feed, and that this must be accommodated by your employer. Having you breastfeed in front of other colleagues is a breach of your privacy and dignity.

That doesn’t change if your place if work is at home. I think if you were caring for your baby as well as working then there could be an issue, but if someone is caring for your child, and you are working, there should be no issue. I recommend you contact the maternity alliance or ‘pregnant then screwed’ for advice. These organisations advise on the rights of pregnant women and families with babies.

If you work for a public or government organisation, it’s a breach of the EHCR. They have to respect your right to a family life.

2Two · 30/09/2021 21:53

Can you position the camera so it only shows your head?

2Two · 30/09/2021 21:58

There's an awful lot of ignorance around here in relation to breastfeeding rights and work. It really isn't the dreadful unprofessional sin that so many people seem to think. I really can't see the problem with breastfeeding in a Zoom meeting, when I was breastfeeding I was perfectly capable of carrying on a sensible discussion with others.

[[https://www.nct.org.uk/life-parent/work-and-childcare/returning-work/breastfeeding-and-returning-work This page}} is quite helpful.

2Two · 30/09/2021 21:59

Sorry, go the link wrong in that post - Here it is

savethewales · 30/09/2021 22:03

@2Two

There's an awful lot of ignorance around here in relation to breastfeeding rights and work. It really isn't the dreadful unprofessional sin that so many people seem to think. I really can't see the problem with breastfeeding in a Zoom meeting, when I was breastfeeding I was perfectly capable of carrying on a sensible discussion with others.

[[https://www.nct.org.uk/life-parent/work-and-childcare/returning-work/breastfeeding-and-returning-work This page}} is quite helpful.

If you read these pages on the NHS, pregnant and screwed and the NCT it highlights that they are guidelines, that you can make requests and that things are recommended.

The only part protected is that employers can’t refuse your return to work if you’re breastfeeding. They don’t have to provide paid time or a space to express.

Original poster
jadelou85 · 30/09/2021 22:15

@StrandedStarfish

The legal position is that you are entitled for your baby to be brought to you at your place of work to breast feed, and that this must be accommodated by your employer. Having you breastfeed in front of other colleagues is a breach of your privacy and dignity.

That doesn’t change if your place if work is at home. I think if you were caring for your baby as well as working then there could be an issue, but if someone is caring for your child, and you are working, there should be no issue. I recommend you contact the maternity alliance or ‘pregnant then screwed’ for advice. These organisations advise on the rights of pregnant women and families with babies.

If you work for a public or government organisation, it’s a breach of the EHCR. They have to respect your right to a family life.

Thank you. I don't want to go dowm a formal route. I just wish this thing about camera's being on didn't get mentioned so often. I fed once on a call and it went slightly wrong but if anything I'd have expected my boss to make an exception but it feels like the opposite even though it's all done in a 'nice way' like it's said in a reassuring way e.g. don't feel self-concious, no one has any issue at all etc. So I feel like there's no reason to drop out if the need comes up but it's always, 'remember cameras on' everyone. So you're actually right, if it was actually at work it would be like sayng you can BF and you shoudn't feel uncomfortable but you have to do it here in front of everyone.
OP posts:
Original poster
jadelou85 · 30/09/2021 22:19

To be honest I've aleady decided I'll either practice and perfect camera angles and sitting positions or just express when the need might arise. It feels like admitting defeat but it's not worth it.

OP posts:
2Two · 30/09/2021 22:21

They don’t have to provide paid time or a space to express

It still doesn't make breastfeeding during meetings with your employer's knowledge and agreement the heinous offence so many self-righteous types on this thread seem to think it is.

Original poster
jadelou85 · 30/09/2021 22:24

@2Two

Can you position the camera so it only shows your head?
Probably with more practice. I'm probably unecessarily nervous due to the last malfunction but you're right how hard can it be.
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