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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Original poster

Working from home, breastfeeding, zoom meetings

274 replies

jadelou85 · 30/09/2021 17:19

Since the lockdowns my company has set thing up to allow most of us to work from home so my whole return to work hasn't been the wrench / challenge that I thought it would be. We do have a lot of zoom meetings and to start with everyone including my boss was fine if I dropped out of meetings if I needed to feed. I still had the feeling some people thought I was using it as an excuse so a few weeks ago I just told my boss I needed to feed but I was OK to carry on with our meeting. I managed to be discreet and was pretty chuffed with myself until right at the end I had a mssive slip-up becuase I was paying more attention to the meeting than what I was doing. I probably wouldn't have attempted it again after that but since that day I've felt more and more pressure to 'just get on with it' and take the multi-tasking approach. He hasn't been direct about it but my boss has made more than one comment along these lines even though he was always fine with me dropping our occasionally before. I literally feel I'm being pressured into now and I don't know how to deal with it. I feel lucky to be allowed to work from home but it feels a bit like an ultimatum like stay on meetings if you need to BF or come back to the office. Can someone help me put this in perspective and even better suggest how to deal with it or how to approach the subject without it being any more uncomfortable than it needs to be?

OP posts:
AssassinatedBeauty · 30/09/2021 18:39

Surely the inference is obvious? Nearly everyone posting asked the same question. It wasn't clear that you had childcare at home.

If your child was in a different setting to you then this wouldn't be an issue. If you want to take advantage of the fact that you are around when your baby needs feeding, then just let your manager know you can't do video calls, just voice only, if there is a clash.

Shellfishblastard · 30/09/2021 18:45

If you were in work you could ask for time to pump, so it is no different to having to go and feed your baby.

I assume you have childcare in place for all other times?

MyothercarisaCozyCoupe · 30/09/2021 19:00

I'm not sure it is the same as pumping in the office as I think the expectation with that is that you have the time and privacy to do that during your working day, not that you can just leave meetings at random to pump.

I think it actually sounds like the Ops employer is being fairly flexible and I'm not too sure what the Op is expecting to hear.

Blackkoala · 30/09/2021 19:01

Can you pump, and then whoever is looking after your baby while you’re working could give them a bottle?

Gloomandglow · 30/09/2021 19:06

Confused why do you have to feed during meetings? Can you not just wait until the meeting has finished?

I don't think it's appropriate to breastfeed a baby during a work meeting. I know a woman should be able to feed her child wherever but a baby would not usually be allowed to tag along to a work meeting so I would have thought they should probably stay out of an online meeting also.

If you have appropriate childcare in place this should not be an issue.

BeepingBB · 30/09/2021 19:07

Your baby surely shouldn't be with you while you're working.

Aren't they in childcare or being looked after by a relative?

Original poster
jadelou85 · 30/09/2021 19:11

@MyothercarisaCozyCoupe

I'm not sure it is the same as pumping in the office as I think the expectation with that is that you have the time and privacy to do that during your working day, not that you can just leave meetings at random to pump.

I think it actually sounds like the Ops employer is being fairly flexible and I'm not too sure what the Op is expecting to hear.

There was no problem with dropping out the few times I needed to feed mid-meeting. The problem is since the one time I tried feeding and staying on the call I pretty much feel pressured into continuing to do it that way. It was never an issue before.
OP posts:
Original poster
jadelou85 · 30/09/2021 19:12

@BeepingBB

Your baby surely shouldn't be with you while you're working.

Aren't they in childcare or being looked after by a relative?

Correct.
OP posts:
TokyoSushi · 30/09/2021 19:14

I don't think that you can carry on doing it. If you're being paid to work and paid to be in the meeting, then you need to do just that. You might think it's obvious but we're all still guessing at what the childcare is that you have arranged, is somebody else taking care of the child in your home? Honestly, discrimination or not, if I were your boss I'd get the impression you weren't totally focused on the job.

MyothercarisaCozyCoupe · 30/09/2021 19:16

I can understand it might be disappointing to feel you had a balance that was working for you but I'm afraid this isn't something most employers would accept in the long term.

Is it possible that your manager wasn't really happy about it but didn't know how to say that? Or that your colleagues been complaining about it? If that's the case, I would aim to be as flexible as possible while still trying to make the situation work for you and your baby.

How old is your baby and how long have you been back at work?

MyothercarisaCozyCoupe · 30/09/2021 19:16

Sorry for the garbled post. I'm feeding my baby! Smile

Hercisback · 30/09/2021 19:17

I think there was a problem with you dropping out mid meeting but no one wanted to mention it. You wouldn't be allowed to do this in the office so it's not acceptable at home. Now you've shown you can be present and feed, that should continue.

mummyh2016 · 30/09/2021 19:17

Your boss is probably shit scared of saying anything, especially if the way you've jumped down people's throats on here is anything to go by.
I agree with the others, you either need to pump and get the person looking after your child to bottle feed him/her or your breastfeed when not in a meeting. If you were in the office you wouldn't think it's okay to bring your child to a meeting to feed so why do you think it's okay to do it in a zoom meeting Confused

mummyh2016 · 30/09/2021 19:19

When I mentioned the work meeting in my post I meant to say you wouldn't leave a work meeting in the office to feed your child, not that you would bring your child to the meeting. We need an edit button!

User5827372728 · 30/09/2021 19:19

This is bizarre. I couldn’t imagine someone leaving our meetings to BF their child and then feed them
During a meeting.

You need to either get proper childcare or become a sahm, you can’t wfh and look after a baby, it’s unfair on baby, you and your work

mynameiscalypso · 30/09/2021 19:22

@Hercisback

I think there was a problem with you dropping out mid meeting but no one wanted to mention it. You wouldn't be allowed to do this in the office so it's not acceptable at home. Now you've shown you can be present and feed, that should continue.
I agree with this. If you have childcare at home, I'd expect them to be doing the childcare and you not to be involved at all. Other than a one-off, I'd not be impressed with you dropping out of meetings to do childcare (which is fundamentally what you're doing) while you're supposed to be working.
mynameiscalypso · 30/09/2021 19:23

Oh sorry, I didn't read the post I quoted. I don't agree that you should feed at all during a meeting. I think whoever is looking after your child the rest of the time should feed them.

CottonSock · 30/09/2021 19:24

You are evading answering the questions on here. I bet your line manager thinks you are a pain in the arse.

Hercisback · 30/09/2021 19:24

Fwiw I did some work meetings from home during lockdown with a 3/4 month old baby and it was a favour to work so no one cared if I fed mid meeting. When I'd properly returned to work, it wouldn't have been OK to leave or even feed on the call.

Noogar · 30/09/2021 19:25

So someone looks after your baby then brings them in for BF? What would you be doing if you couldn't work from home? Do that?

Noogar · 30/09/2021 19:25

It's different if you're off with covid temporarily

Hotelhelp · 30/09/2021 19:28

Why post?

BeepingBB · 30/09/2021 19:30

You've been evasive/rude to every response.

What did you want from this thread?

cricketmum84 · 30/09/2021 19:30

I think that as a line manager I would not be happy with a member of the team caring for a small baby whilst also working. You are not going to be anywhere near as productive as you should be and will be constantly distracted.

But that's besides the point and not what you asked.

Can you get a cover up and feed baby during meetings so nothing is revealed and you don't feel uncomfortable? I used to do this on days out.

Original poster
jadelou85 · 30/09/2021 19:35

@Hercisback

I think there was a problem with you dropping out mid meeting but no one wanted to mention it. You wouldn't be allowed to do this in the office so it's not acceptable at home. Now you've shown you can be present and feed, that should continue.
Thank you. I do wonder now if he really was OK with it although he has always been supportive and it's generally a really friendly atmosphere. If he'd said what you said I'd probably feel better about it and at least know where I stand but it's more indirect. Hard to explain but it feels like no allowance at all now...feeding during work still isn't an issue but now it's stay on the meeting if one is happening. And again not saying it directly again reminding everyone to be visible to each other and emphasising everyone.
OP posts: