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Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Working from home, breastfeeding, zoom meetings

274 replies

jadelou85 · 30/09/2021 17:19

Since the lockdowns my company has set thing up to allow most of us to work from home so my whole return to work hasn't been the wrench / challenge that I thought it would be. We do have a lot of zoom meetings and to start with everyone including my boss was fine if I dropped out of meetings if I needed to feed. I still had the feeling some people thought I was using it as an excuse so a few weeks ago I just told my boss I needed to feed but I was OK to carry on with our meeting. I managed to be discreet and was pretty chuffed with myself until right at the end I had a mssive slip-up becuase I was paying more attention to the meeting than what I was doing. I probably wouldn't have attempted it again after that but since that day I've felt more and more pressure to 'just get on with it' and take the multi-tasking approach. He hasn't been direct about it but my boss has made more than one comment along these lines even though he was always fine with me dropping our occasionally before. I literally feel I'm being pressured into now and I don't know how to deal with it. I feel lucky to be allowed to work from home but it feels a bit like an ultimatum like stay on meetings if you need to BF or come back to the office. Can someone help me put this in perspective and even better suggest how to deal with it or how to approach the subject without it being any more uncomfortable than it needs to be?

OP posts:
MyOtherProfile · 06/10/2021 04:49

Why? Because you are still behaving as if we are in lockdown and childcare isn't available.

I know you won't agree because you will say you have childcare in place (while remaining vague about what that actually is) but if they have to bring your child in for a feed in the middle of your work time then you are still doing some of the childcare while you are supposed to be working.

You've blurred the lines.

Bluntness100 · 06/10/2021 06:26

What an odd thread. As in seriously odd.

What’s the point op? Playing cat and mouse because you don’t want to admit how old your kid is.

Bluntness100 · 06/10/2021 06:29

Also I will say it clearly.

If you’re feeding an older weaned child on demand in front of your colleagues on video during meetings during working hours it’s inappropriate.

And I suspect that’s exactly what you’re doing.

bigbaggyeyes · 06/10/2021 06:45

I don't thing the age or who's looking after the child really matters.

But I do think that unless it's extreme circumstances (such as childcare fell through), you shouldn't be feeding a child whilst at work. I'd not get up in the middle of a meeting and make myself a cup of tea or put a meal in the microwave for my teenager, it's unprofessional. You should be giving 100% attention to work. Breaks should be taken, but only when appropriate. Wfh is great for being able to do things like take in deliveries, or even run the dc to school, lots of advantages, but I'm afraid I do feel the op is taking the piss and her colleagues and manager are seeing this.

My dc is older and walks to and from school. If she came in hungry after school and I was on a call, she'd have to wait or get it herself. I'd not get up in the middle of a meeting. If the op's child isn't old enough to do this, then she either pays a professional to feed her child or she takes time off work to care for her child.

EarringsandLipstick · 06/10/2021 06:49

@bigbaggyeyes

I don't thing the age or who's looking after the child really matters.

But I do think that unless it's extreme circumstances (such as childcare fell through), you shouldn't be feeding a child whilst at work. I'd not get up in the middle of a meeting and make myself a cup of tea or put a meal in the microwave for my teenager, it's unprofessional. You should be giving 100% attention to work. Breaks should be taken, but only when appropriate. Wfh is great for being able to do things like take in deliveries, or even run the dc to school, lots of advantages, but I'm afraid I do feel the op is taking the piss and her colleagues and manager are seeing this.

My dc is older and walks to and from school. If she came in hungry after school and I was on a call, she'd have to wait or get it herself. I'd not get up in the middle of a meeting. If the op's child isn't old enough to do this, then she either pays a professional to feed her child or she takes time off work to care for her child.

This is all spot on. Agree 💯
EurghCobwebs · 06/10/2021 10:03

Pretty much what everyone else has said really.

You should have care in place for baby.

  • you are saying you do...

You should really be expressing milk if this is becoming an issue with work. This is exactly what you would have to do if you worked in an office.

You have already said you would rather turn the webcam off. So why don't you just do that? Or express the milk.

Those are your options - I'm sure you're big enough to figure it out from here!

Glassofshloer · 07/10/2021 23:28

If I were a betting woman, I would say there is no behind the scenes childcare and that’s why OP feeds during meetings, to guarantee a quiet child…

jadelou85 · 10/10/2021 03:36

Well we've had some laughs reading these comments but I doubt anyone can better 'behind the scenes childcare'.

OP posts:
BlanketPiggy · 10/10/2021 06:59

If you're just going to laugh at people why ask for their advice. You seem very defensive about this for some reason so you'll be fine defending yourself against your boss if they complain about you turning the camera off.

Ricekake · 10/10/2021 07:39

@jadelou85

Well we've had some laughs reading these comments but I doubt anyone can better 'behind the scenes childcare'.
What's funny about them? The fact that overwhelmingly people think you are being unreasonable? Confused
jadelou85 · 10/10/2021 23:30

Yes...

OP posts:
JasonMomoasgirlfriend · 10/10/2021 23:35

Well you are!

MyOtherProfile · 11/10/2021 00:56

This is so funny.

Remember this from the opening post?
it feels a bit like an ultimatum like stay on meetings if you need to BF or come back to the office. Can someone help me put this in perspective

Clearly what OP meant was
Can someone help me justify myself that it's fine for me to share childcare / feeding my child while I'm at work even though my boss and most of MN don't think so?

JasonMomoasgirlfriend · 11/10/2021 00:58

Yup. It's the same as her sunbathing topless in a Muslim country thread .
Op is one of those entitled sorts.

jadelou85 · 11/10/2021 03:02

@BlanketPiggy

If you're just going to laugh at people why ask for their advice. You seem very defensive about this for some reason so you'll be fine defending yourself against your boss if they complain about you turning the camera off.
Well...because I didn't know in advance I was going to find some of them funny, I suppose.

'Defensive' - brilliant.

OP posts:
Kittykat93 · 11/10/2021 03:25

Jesus just don't have the camera pointing below your head..you can't go round getting your boobs out on a zoom meeting at work, breastfeeding or not. This is not about 'not supporting feeding your baby' it's about you not being professional at work.

Also you've acted quite strange on this thread, I assumed baby was about 6 months old or something but it appears to be older. Maybe just don't feed during meeting times and you won't have this issue Confused

dickiedavisthunderthighs · 11/10/2021 07:50

If you have a babe in arms who still needs to be fed on demand then you need to consider if you came back from mat leave too early OP. You're either working or looking after a baby; it's hugely unprofessional to decide to do both.

jadelou85 · 13/10/2021 11:39

@dickiedavisthunderthighs

If you have a babe in arms who still needs to be fed on demand then you need to consider if you came back from mat leave too early OP. You're either working or looking after a baby; it's hugely unprofessional to decide to do both.
Yeah, it definitely would be...
OP posts:
Glassofshloer · 13/10/2021 11:42

OP trying hard to keep the thread going! Further proving my theory it’s all a bit of a wind up… Grin

jadelou85 · 13/10/2021 11:44

@Kittykat93

Jesus just don't have the camera pointing below your head..you can't go round getting your boobs out on a zoom meeting at work, breastfeeding or not. This is not about 'not supporting feeding your baby' it's about you not being professional at work.

Also you've acted quite strange on this thread, I assumed baby was about 6 months old or something but it appears to be older. Maybe just don't feed during meeting times and you won't have this issue Confused

It's so unfair though, don't you think...I mean, who doesn't want to ' go around getting their boobs out' ?

Just when we thought it couldn't get any better as well....love it.

OP posts:
EasterIssland · 13/10/2021 11:46

so have you spoken with HR / ACAS / Your manager?

noscoobydoodle · 13/10/2021 11:55

Many years ago my boss got her nanny to bring the baby into the office/meetings to be breastfed. I returned to work last year after a short maternity leave with full childcare in place but did continue to breastfeed- something I didn't do with previous children as I was office based. How long does a feed take and how many times a day? I would go off camera, pop a note in the chat saying excuse me for a few minutes or whatever and then just switch back on when I was done. We have a camera on policy but people sometimes switch off for a few minutes- I assume to nip to the loo or something- but no-one ever asks. When I returned to work I did introduce a bottle as well so I could be flexible- if I was giving training or whatever important I wouldn't break off camera.

Glassofshloer · 13/10/2021 12:02

@noscoobydoodle

Many years ago my boss got her nanny to bring the baby into the office/meetings to be breastfed. I returned to work last year after a short maternity leave with full childcare in place but did continue to breastfeed- something I didn't do with previous children as I was office based. How long does a feed take and how many times a day? I would go off camera, pop a note in the chat saying excuse me for a few minutes or whatever and then just switch back on when I was done. We have a camera on policy but people sometimes switch off for a few minutes- I assume to nip to the loo or something- but no-one ever asks. When I returned to work I did introduce a bottle as well so I could be flexible- if I was giving training or whatever important I wouldn't break off camera.
But bfing isn’t the same as going to the toilet. Depending on how old the baby is it can take quite a while, and it isn’t a necessity - either pump or give formula. It isn’t for workplaces to bend over backwards to accommodate your preferred feeding method. Either you’re at work or you’re not.
Glassofshloer · 13/10/2021 12:03

@EasterIssland

so have you spoken with HR / ACAS / Your manager?
Of course she hasn’t because if they start delving they may find out there is no ‘childcare’, I’m guessing.
EasterIssland · 13/10/2021 12:09

" Depending on how old the baby is it can take quite a while, and it isn’t a necessity - either pump or give formula. "

Please can we stop giving this advice? Whilst I dont agree with the OP, pumping it's not that easy, I gave up pumping after I returned to work because how demoralising it can be. Formula the same, not every kid (specially if bf) is going to take a bottle.

There are links in this thread that proof that work has to facilitate that the mum can continue bf by allowing to pump in their breaks or even allowing too have the kids to bf.

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