Worried about my wife.......

[BritishBeef]

Hi there,
My son is only 2 weeks old and we are already at our limits. I guess that sounds pathetic and both my wife and I feel failures to be feeling this way so early on.

My wife had a lot of problems breastfeeding in during the first week due to our son having a very strong suction and also managing to 'click' whilst sucking which caused my wife so much pain that she cried whilst feeding. We had 3 different midwives confirm that he was latched on perfectly and couldn't work out what was going wrong. Things got better a few days ago and breastfeeding was bearable. In the last few days however, our son has been wanting feeding every 2 hours and his feeding time has lengthened to an hour or more meaning that my wife is feeding as much as she's not including 3 times during the night and again her nipples are getting painful. The rest of the time he is really grisly and won't settle meaning we are getting no rest. We tried winding etc. but no use. We take him out in the afternoon for an hour (he will usually sleep then). Yesterday he was awake for the best part of 16 hours out of 24 and most of that was grisly or crying.

Today, he's doing his feeding cues straight after an hour long feed. The feed is not constant and by the end it's as if he's just comfort sucking but like I said, as soon as he's removed from the breast he makes out that he wants feeding again. My wife changes breasts half way through but still no joy.

His weight is fine and when we discuss these sorts of things with the MW's they just say there's no problem because his weight is fine.

My real concern however is the strain on my wife. She's very tearful lately and says she can't cope anymore with the constant feeding and no rest. I'm finding it nearly as stressful and as I have suffered the last 5 years with mental illness (anxiety, stress, OCD, health anxiety) I am worried about myself too. I don't want to become depressed like I have in the past and I really don't want my wife to go down that route either.

We are considering switching to formula but that makes us feel total failures and guilty especially as the MW's have rammed it down our necks that not to breastfeed is wrong.

I really don't know what to do and would appreciate some advice.

im sorry to hear that BB! but you must go back to your GP. your LO is in pain again and you wont be able to sleep, again. not fun. i hope your GP is a good one and guide you from here.

(i read that GPs are very reluctant to diagnose a baby with reflux, i dont know why)

You poor things. Don't lose heart. He showed signs of improvement so cling to that and keep at it.

So sorry to hear things have taken a turn for the worse. I agree with the others. Please go back to your GP and ask for a referral to a specialist. This is absolutely not normal behaviour for a newborn and is putting immense strain on your family.

The positive thing is that he responded to the Gaviscon albeit for a few days which would indicate that he needs to be assessed for further treatment ASAP. Let us know how you go over the weekend.

Sorry to hear that BB, but look at it this way, now you know what's wrong with him, he's got digestive problems. That should help you find a long term treatment if your gp is cooperative enough. Try and get a referral asap.
Having said that, the problem could cure by itself with time, once his digestive system has matured a bit. That's what happened to my dd, but then she was never as bad as your ds.

are you giving him one sachet or two ? Same thing happened to me and then I upped the gaviscon to 2 sachets ( he was just under the recommended weight for 2 sachets) and it worked a treat. If that doesnt work then I would ask the doctor for something stronger. I can't remember the name of it but it starts with an R I think. Someone here will know what I am blubbering on about.

Hi Britishbeef

I read your post and feel so much sympathy for you. Exactly the same thing happened to me and my dd. She made this clicking noise when feeding and everytime she clicked it was like being stabbed in the boob. I had NEVER experienced anything more painful in my life (natural birth with no drugs was nothing in comparison!) and was slowly getting depressed by it all. 3 MW's said she was latched on correctly and no tongue tie but it was hell. DD was also putting on weight ok. My husband just used to look on helplessly as I was bent over in pain not exactly bonding with the baby.

Anyway - at 2 weeks I came down with mastitis and started to express milk instead. I expressed successfully for 7 months. My LO like yours would happily take a bottle in a few minutes and would seem a lot more satisifed and happier than with our attempts at bf.

I know how hard it must be for you - my dh said he felt totally helpless. You must support your wife with whatever she choses to do. A happy mummy makes a happy baby.

Good luck and I hope the account of my experience helps.

i was wondering myself...

Hi BB
Haven't read whole thread, but it sounds like colic to me. DD had it, poor little mite, and Infacol didn't seem to help (we used to call it Inf*ckall) It seems to be linked with the baby's immaturity, and the good news is that one day they wake up and it's gone!

Just for info, apparently they take most of their mik in the first ten minutes, so any longer feeding is for comfort.
Good luckxx

Hi all!
Thought it was time for an update.

Well, the Gaviscon continued to do it's magic but at the expense of constipation. The GP prescribed Lactulose for the constipation which helped for a time but then the constipation got worse. GP suggested Infamil (thicker feed) and to stop the Gaviscon - we tried it but as soon as we stopped the Gaviscon he was back to how he used to be (crying, not sleeping and grouchy) which proves that he has Reflux. GP said to go back on Gaviscon but increase the Lactulose. That worked a little bit and so GP said to increase Lactulose a bit more and that has pretty much done the trick. He still has problems with thick pastey poo but it's much better than the Reflux and even though the next stage is Ranitadine we only want him to have that as a last resort.

Anyway, our DS is a happy contented baby now (8 weeks old - had jabs today) who is in a lovely routine and sleeps from 7pm til 7 am with feeds in between at 10.30pm and 3/4am.

Thanks for all your help on this forum you ladies are amazing.

Oh I am janitor, I am!

Fab news BB!! Well done to all three of you (although i know it has seemed like the longest 8 weeks of your life)!!

My 6th baby is now 9 months old and have breastfed all my babies with no problems apart from her! It hurt so much until I realised that I had thrush of the breast,only symptoms were extreme pain on feeding.This was cured quickly with medication.Babies latch on easier if breasts are offered to them,like nuzzled onto their mouth!Every one has different experiences and babies but I have always had my babies with me all the time ,that way they are comforted and wont get distressed,2 weeks is so little,the baby wont have any routine yet and remember,some sleep alot,some dont.My little baby only ever slept if I was holding her or if she was in my bed...and still is.Please persevere with breastfeeding,ask one of the professionals to show you techniques...good luck

BB, was just thinking about you the other day, wondering how you were doing.

I have been watching your thread, hoping you get some answers.

Glad to hear that there is some improvement, long may it last!

aah just came back to check how you were doing, so glad you have a contented baby now and that all of us who said it WILL get better were right (i was beginning to have my doubts! ) hope life goes smoothly for you for a while at least - at least the joys of teething are a while away yet! all the best to you