Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Infant feeding

Get advice and support with infant feeding from other users here.

Worried about my wife.......

318 replies

BritishBeef · 06/10/2007 18:21

Hi there,
My son is only 2 weeks old and we are already at our limits. I guess that sounds pathetic and both my wife and I feel failures to be feeling this way so early on.

My wife had a lot of problems breastfeeding in during the first week due to our son having a very strong suction and also managing to 'click' whilst sucking which caused my wife so much pain that she cried whilst feeding. We had 3 different midwives confirm that he was latched on perfectly and couldn't work out what was going wrong. Things got better a few days ago and breastfeeding was bearable. In the last few days however, our son has been wanting feeding every 2 hours and his feeding time has lengthened to an hour or more meaning that my wife is feeding as much as she's not including 3 times during the night and again her nipples are getting painful. The rest of the time he is really grisly and won't settle meaning we are getting no rest. We tried winding etc. but no use. We take him out in the afternoon for an hour (he will usually sleep then). Yesterday he was awake for the best part of 16 hours out of 24 and most of that was grisly or crying.

Today, he's doing his feeding cues straight after an hour long feed. The feed is not constant and by the end it's as if he's just comfort sucking but like I said, as soon as he's removed from the breast he makes out that he wants feeding again. My wife changes breasts half way through but still no joy.

His weight is fine and when we discuss these sorts of things with the MW's they just say there's no problem because his weight is fine.

My real concern however is the strain on my wife. She's very tearful lately and says she can't cope anymore with the constant feeding and no rest. I'm finding it nearly as stressful and as I have suffered the last 5 years with mental illness (anxiety, stress, OCD, health anxiety) I am worried about myself too. I don't want to become depressed like I have in the past and I really don't want my wife to go down that route either.

We are considering switching to formula but that makes us feel total failures and guilty especially as the MW's have rammed it down our necks that not to breastfeed is wrong.

I really don't know what to do and would appreciate some advice.

OP posts:
BritishBeef · 30/10/2007 13:37

Went to the GP this morning. GP was very understanding and prescribed Infant Gaviscon. She thinks he's also suffering from Colic. We've only given him one dose so far so early days. He had it an hour ago with his feed and he's still awake (has been since 7am and it's 1.36pm now).

GP said to give it a few days to see how he gets on so fingers crossed.

OP posts:
BirthdayBabe · 30/10/2007 13:40

great news BB. fingers crossed. keep us updated.

jabuti · 30/10/2007 13:56

great news BB! crossing fingers here for you.

had really poor night last night myself, DD teething and waking up LOTS.

let us know how your DS gets on.

boolepew · 30/10/2007 15:25

Hope it goes well. Fingers crossed

BritishBeef · 30/10/2007 17:12

Well I have no idea whether this has anything to do with the Gaviscon or not but, he fell asleep at 2pm and has been asleep ever since (now 5.10pm) with a dream feed (while asleep) inbetween!

He has never slept for longer than an hour during the day and didn't sleep at all during the day the last week or so.

It could be the Gaviscon or it could be coincidence. Time will tell. It will be interesting to see how he does during the night.

OP posts:
jabuti · 30/10/2007 17:16

excellent! try to rest too while he sleeps.

themildmanneredaxemurderer · 30/10/2007 17:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BirthdayBabe · 30/10/2007 17:26

My dd slept for 11 hours flat after weeks of screaming and one dose of gaviscon.

jabuti · 30/10/2007 17:36

that must have being amazing birth! and good for the lo too, that could finally rest!

BirthdayBabe · 30/10/2007 18:05

she was such a different baby after that, it changed the whole family's life

BritishBeef · 30/10/2007 18:59

He slept until 6pm and was fed and we are just trying to settle him again.

We would have slept but unfortunately a friend came round (it was arranged) just as he went to sleep. A real shame as we could have slept for 4 hours!!

OP posts:
jabuti · 30/10/2007 19:03

birthbabe, thats my DD at night at the moment and in the morning... 2 different babies!!!!! (she is teething at the moment)

BB, next time, dont be ashamed to call your friends and cancel, your sanity and your wife's is more important right now. i have cancelled visits before, i think friends can be understanding of it.

good luck tonight and keep us posted!

BirthdayBabe · 30/10/2007 19:10

Hope everything goes well tonight. Try and go to bed yourself as soon as he's asleep, you don't know how long he's going to sleep for - hopefully a good few hours.
Are you in your PJs yet ?

BritishBeef · 31/10/2007 07:03

Well what do you know. He slept well through the night too. Dream feed at 11pm then woke for feeds at 3am & 6.15am. Went off to sleep on his own soon after each feed (swaddled).

That's a whole 24 hours now of drastic change since he started on Gaviscon.

If he's the same today then it was obviously reflux.........or he's suddenly settled down at exactly the same time. WOW. Still keeping my fingers crossed that this continues......

OP posts:
BirthdayBabe · 31/10/2007 07:14

There's a good chance that the problem was reflux, can't be just a coincidence. Well done ! I'm very happy for you. Try and get as much rest yourselves as you can.

Spink · 31/10/2007 07:26

fingers crossed this is it!

jabuti · 31/10/2007 11:19

wooooooooooooow! im so happy for you BB and your family!!!! what a good little boy he is, he only needed help with his digestion.

but remember some people said here that gaviscon can wear off in few weeks... (am i a worried person or what). so if gets unsettled again perhaps he will need something else to help him.

screaminghabdabs · 31/10/2007 11:19

Fantastic news
Hope you all manage to catch up on some sleep too.

BirthdayBabe · 31/10/2007 19:10

How's today been BB?

BritishBeef · 01/11/2007 09:38

Yesterday my MIL took him for half a day. We meant to get some rest and go out for lunch. We ate out but the food was disappointingly and did a load of shopping which took a lot longer than we thought it would so we only got an hours rest in the end.

When we picked DS up, MIL said 'he doesn't need hardly any sleep' and that he hadn't really slept much but one look at him told us he had been way over stimulated.

We got him home at 5pm and fed him and he went to sleep an hour or so later and slept with feeds through until the morning! One stretch of sleep during the night lasted 4 1/2 hours! When DW went in this morning he had somehow managed to rotate himself round 90 degrees to end up along the foot of his cot!!?? He was swaddled too??!!! How did he do that? Anyone else had that?

His poo is firming up due to the Gaviscon - it's the consistency of thick paste at the moment. The GP said to feed him some water if he gets constipated. Is his poo consistency a cause for concern at the moment? How much water do I feed him and how often?

OP posts:
BirthdayBabe · 01/11/2007 11:54

that's brilliant news BB ! I bet you're starting to feel human again !
I don't know if the poo is cause for concern, my dd had it for a while but it's back to normal now as she hardly needs gaviscon anymore. Maybe post in the health section?

PeckaRolloverAgain · 01/11/2007 16:14

BritishBeef - I was just about to suggst you enlist the help of a doula to help you all out and enable you to get some rest but hopefully, touch wood you might be starting to get some rest now.

Mommalove · 01/11/2007 16:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

screaminghabdabs · 01/11/2007 21:35

BB - Keep plugging away with water between feeds to try and minimise constipation. If he continues to show improvement and the reflux symptoms are still at bay, I would seriously consider returning to your GP and asking for a referral to a Paed, preferably specialising in infant gastroenterology. That way, you can start on ranitidine which will alleviate the constipation and is a better treatment for reflux. (It's a simple antacid).

Where are you? If you are in/around London/Herts I can point you the way of a fantastic Consultant who is a leading light in this subject area. We know him well and you can ask to be directly referred to him.

BritishBeef · 02/11/2007 19:05

Unfortunately, things are back to how they were a week ago.

He has no sleep during the day (1 hour max) for the last 3 days (just like before). Stimulated rather than sedated by feeds. Impossible to settle after feeds. Extremely irritable and grizzly...................read back to see how things were and now are again. I give up. I really thought we'd cracked it with the Gaviscon. He's still on Infant Gaviscon now.

This morning it made him constipated but after a feed of a little water that cleared itself.

I don't understand how he changed so dramatically after we started him on the Gaviscon and that continued for a few days and now he's back the same again??

OP posts: